Search found 274 matches

by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Jun 28, 2022 1:41 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: WML - Are you in town this weekend?
Replies: 13
Views: 573

Re: WML - Are you in town this weekend?

When I was in the process of detaching myself from the church, I was pulled in and asked to accept a calling. I had to ask twice what calling it was before they would tell me it was to teach RS. It really is a standard part of their playbook to hook you in any way possible without giving you any mor...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Mar 24, 2022 7:15 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Guilty confessions
Replies: 10
Views: 1177

Re: Guilty confessions

A couple of weeks ago I went down a kind of Sabbath rabbit-hole -- I started playing some of my favorite Sunday morning music. It had been years sinced I'd listened to anything churchy, and the music brought back a rush of really big feelings. I mostly don't miss anything about church, but that day ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Feb 17, 2022 9:15 am
Forum: Staying Faithful
Topic: Fantasy has its place
Replies: 6
Views: 1059

Re: Fantasy has its place

I love this post, Moksha. A friend told me she was struggling with Christmas after concluding that the Nativity story had very little basis in history. My response was that it is still a lovely story, and has as much meaning for me as A Christmas Carol or The Lord of the Rings -- neither of which is...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Oct 26, 2021 11:29 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Feeling bad for full time missionaries
Replies: 13
Views: 2376

Re: Feeling bad for full time missionaries

I was a missionary in France in the mid-80s and it was rough trying to function in a foreign language in a country that had little use for Americans or religion and especially not for an American religion. I still have warm feelings for the family in my first area that had a standing appointment wit...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Sun Oct 03, 2021 12:08 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: For those not listening to conference
Replies: 13
Views: 2523

Re: For those not listening to conference

Those chilaquiles look amazing! My never-mo aunt came into town on Thursday -- Friday we saw the touring production of Cats (audience was masked). It was a powerful experience to be with a live audience enjoying the first live theatre in many months and the applause was thunderous. She left early th...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Sep 15, 2021 8:09 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Who thinks they're going to the CK?
Replies: 22
Views: 3584

Re: Who thinks they're going to the CK?

I remember when I resigned myself to the fact that I just wasn't CK material. I felt guilty and a little ashamed, but also (when I was being honest with myself) relieved. Trying to live up to CK expectations in mortality was so taxing I couldn't imagine having to do it for eternity.
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:25 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Five Months Down. 55 To Go.
Replies: 17
Views: 3122

Re: Five Months Down. 54 To Go.

I'm always interested in these updates. It sounds like a pretty tough slog, at least at the moment. Your last comment, about how much the job can take and take, triggered a memory. I was good friends with both the wife and the adult daughter of the man who was bishop during my last active years. Alt...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 27, 2021 2:55 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU
Replies: 68
Views: 11712

Re: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU

My nephew's response to Holland's talk was to come out on Facebook. Thing is, he's recently married -- to a woman -- and she also made a long post. They both talked about their faith in the gospel and the priesthood and their support of the brethren . . . you can all fill in the rest, I'm sure. I've...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Jul 21, 2021 7:15 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Temple Garments discussed in the New York Times
Replies: 6
Views: 1701

Temple Garments discussed in the New York Times

The headline: Among Mormon Women, Frank Talk About Sacred Underclothes Frustrated by itchy, constrictive church-designed garments, they are asking for better fit, more options and “buttery soft fabric.” https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/21/us/mormon-women-underclothes.html?action=click&algo=bandit-all...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:26 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 2001

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

The way the church pushes “goal setting” by demanding totally unrealistic goals, them shaming and berating anyone not reaching those impossible goals is abuse. So, treat yourself like someone who lived in an abusive situation, because you are. You are being triggered. When you cannot avoid the trig...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:21 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 2001

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

Fifi, I too struggle with setting goals. I have to do something similar for work for myself and my department. I’ve pulled in my staff and we’ve had a few brainstorming sessions to root out reasonable goals. I always start with the mundane stuff that has to be done, that everyone already does, etc....
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:15 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 2001

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

I was a new missionary and talked my companion into going along with our zone with some completely impossible goals for the upcoming month. After the month was up, we got a visit from the MP who berated us for not meeting the goal or even coming close. It was miserable. My heart hurts for the ideal...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 7:58 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 2001

Unexpected Mormon trauma

Red Ryder's post on Ordinary Mormon Trauma really resonated with me and I'll be thinking about it for a good long while. I started to reply with another example of my own Mormon trauma, but I was afraid it was too far off-topic so I started this thread. It's the end of our university's school year a...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Apr 27, 2021 5:56 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Did Natasha Helfer-Parker get Exed?
Replies: 82
Views: 16300

Re: Did Natasha Helfer get Exed?

Jody England Hansen recounts her experience as one of Helfer's witnesses: https://www.the-exponent.com/here-is-my-witness/ It's unreal how threatened these men with all their priesthood power were by a group of women in Sunday dress. I am finding myself more angered by this episode than I have been ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Apr 16, 2021 11:40 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Did Natasha Helfer-Parker get Exed?
Replies: 82
Views: 16300

Re: Did Netasha Helfer-Parker get Exed?

Edit to add: Given what Hawkins has said here, that he had a prepared statement, I'm starting to think this is not just a stupid local leader being stupid. Once again, the church is drawing lines that they don't need to draw. And it will end as badly as the 2015 policy of exclusion debacle, especia...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Mar 12, 2021 8:54 am
Forum: Support
Topic: The Moment of Transition
Replies: 16
Views: 3229

Re: The Moment of Transition

Oh wait a minute, something's untrue about Ayn Rand... So that was kind of a big moment where I just went "I think I've been believing bullsh*t." And then there's that beautiful, kind of, hole in your soul where you're like, "Ok, so if that's not it, what else is there?" and also a lot of small poi...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Mar 11, 2021 9:26 am
Forum: Support
Topic: mocha latte for Neal
Replies: 31
Views: 8637

Re: mocha latte for Neal

I think someone's cutting onions . . .you all are the best. It's been six years but you know what -- grief doesn't care how long it's been. There are a lot of good times and days are mostly good, but there are still moments where I can barely stand under the weight of it. Two of Neal's siblings are ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Dec 18, 2020 6:09 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Attending my Daughter's Temple Wedding?
Replies: 36
Views: 7472

Re: Attending my Daughter's Temple Wedding?

I sat out for my son's wedding a couple of years ago and it was hard, although neither of my other grown children were there either so I didn't feel so alone on the outside. When I was moaning to some non LDS coworkers about this, it somehow came up that the temple sealing ceremony wasn't at all lik...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Mon Dec 14, 2020 8:59 am
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: Soundtrack of the NOM
Replies: 138
Views: 59180

Re: Soundtrack of the NOM

moksha wrote:
Sun Dec 13, 2020 6:26 pm
Here is a Mormon Christmas song video that is very touching:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4fvMgN ... gM&index=3
Lovely! Thank you for sharing.
by Fifi de la Vergne
Sat Dec 12, 2020 5:57 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Trigger Warning: Surviving Sexual Assault
Replies: 21
Views: 5384

Re: Trigger Warning: Surviving Sexual Assault

I think John was paraphrasing Spencer Kimball's infamous quote in Miracle of Forgiveness: "Also far-reaching is the effect of the loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has...