Search found 287 matches

by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Apr 12, 2023 7:07 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Joseph Smith “sexual predator” label?
Replies: 23
Views: 2343

Re: Joseph Smith “sexual predator” label?

Perhaps I’m trying to understand the intent which defines differences between an opportunist and predator? I dunno, Red. I kind of feel like you're splitting hairs here. An opportunist is someone who "exploits circumstances to gain immediate advantage rather than being guided by consistent principl...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Mon Jan 09, 2023 9:07 am
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: Dieter Uchtdorfs coffee pot
Replies: 15
Views: 1487

Re: Dieter Uchtdorfs coffee pot

I'm thinking it's an electric kettle similar to this one https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics-Stainless-Steel-Electric-Kettle/dp/B072DWYBL7/ref=sxin_15?asc_contentid=amzn1.osa.c6514f38-6859-4866-a22c-6e70165cbbb0.ATVPDKIKX0DER.en_US&asc_contenttype=article&ascsubtag=amzn1.osa.c6514f38-6859-4866-a22c-...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Dec 21, 2022 8:19 am
Forum: Support
Topic: How do you label yourself regarding your belief?
Replies: 43
Views: 3865

Re: How do you label yourself regarding your belief?

Some really great thoughts in this thread! Hagoth, I had to copy yours down; it articulates almost poetically something I hadn't been able to express: . . . I think spirituality is real, but not because there are spirits. Because we have a powerful sense of wonder that makes us suspect there is more...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Dec 21, 2022 8:02 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Are Converts more likely to leave? If so, why?
Replies: 8
Views: 900

Re: Are Converts more likely to leave? If so, why?

I was a convert who joined in my early twenties. For thirty years I was all in, determined to prove myself faithful and checking all the boxes of mission, BYU, temple marriage, etc. Even though it wasn't a comfortable fit socially (I'm an introvert and a bit of a rebel) I worked hard at being a good...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Mon Oct 24, 2022 1:03 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Fish out of water
Replies: 15
Views: 1566

Re: Fish out of water

Have some interesting high council stories that I need to share, and when I have time I'll give a report that will better illustrate how I deal with things on a macro institutional level. . . .Just last week, one of the ward family history consultants was asking me about my family history and templ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Oct 12, 2022 7:41 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Does the LDS church bring you closer to God?
Replies: 12
Views: 1157

Re: Does the LDS church bring you closer to God?

I wasn't raised in a religious household, but from the time I was a little girl I had deep spiritual feelings and a desire to connect with the divine. What initially drew me to the church was that being with church members and the missionaries seemed to tap into those feelings and yes, I felt closer...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Aug 30, 2022 12:45 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Racist Incident at Duke/BYU Volleyball Game
Replies: 18
Views: 2494

Re: Racist Incident at Duke/BYU Volleyball Game

I liked the last line of that article... Isn't it a shame that the 19 year old Duke players were the only adults in the room. How about that whole last paragraph? It appears that BYU has a past with which it refuses to reckon, meaning it has a present that still contains this element of rot. If the...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 9:58 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 3536

Re: Resignation Poll

Jeffret, how did you submit your resignation then -- did you just send a letter to church headquarters, or use Quit Mormon, or something else? I thought for Quit Mormon you need a membership number, which is why I've felt stalled. I'd like to do it as quickly and painlessly as possible. I used Quit...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:08 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 3536

Re: Resignation Poll

https://quitmormon.com/ Quite easy way to handle it. The only real hassle is you need to get it notarized before they can process it. As an added bonus, they specify DNC as part of the paperwork. I work with a couple of notaries who would be happy to do that part for me -- but I think I have to tra...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:36 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 3536

Re: Resignation Poll

It hasn't been that big of a difference since the resignation, other than we never get any contact, unlike the former DNC request we had. (Local members were pretty good and mostly honored it, though sometimes not the young, bold (outrageous) missionaries.) For the most part my requests for no cont...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:28 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 3536

Re: Resignation Poll

The only obstacle now is logistical -- I don't know what ward I'm in or my membership number, so I've got to track those down and start the paperwork. I didn't need that info when I resigned. I stopped attending before the church had whatever member login system they've created, so I never had a ne...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Aug 25, 2022 4:33 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 3536

Re: Resignation Poll

This most recent news article really made me feel -- viscerally -- that I can't bear to maintain any association with them. I have one son who is still active, and he was the one I didn't want to hurt. I talked to him a couple of weeks ago and asked him how he would feel if I resigned and he asked m...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Aug 24, 2022 9:43 am
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: The hits keep coming
Replies: 12
Views: 97660

Re: The hits keep coming

Everything Red Ryder said. This is not a good fit for you or for you wife, and once you get past the discomfort of refusing (it'll happen faster than you think) you'll both be much happier.

Teaching gospel doctrine is one of the worst callings I can think of as a PIMO member.
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Jun 28, 2022 1:41 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: WML - Are you in town this weekend?
Replies: 13
Views: 2161

Re: WML - Are you in town this weekend?

When I was in the process of detaching myself from the church, I was pulled in and asked to accept a calling. I had to ask twice what calling it was before they would tell me it was to teach RS. It really is a standard part of their playbook to hook you in any way possible without giving you any mor...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Mar 24, 2022 7:15 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Guilty confessions
Replies: 10
Views: 2534

Re: Guilty confessions

A couple of weeks ago I went down a kind of Sabbath rabbit-hole -- I started playing some of my favorite Sunday morning music. It had been years sinced I'd listened to anything churchy, and the music brought back a rush of really big feelings. I mostly don't miss anything about church, but that day ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Feb 17, 2022 9:15 am
Forum: Staying Faithful
Topic: Fantasy has its place
Replies: 11
Views: 18815

Re: Fantasy has its place

I love this post, Moksha. A friend told me she was struggling with Christmas after concluding that the Nativity story had very little basis in history. My response was that it is still a lovely story, and has as much meaning for me as A Christmas Carol or The Lord of the Rings -- neither of which is...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Oct 26, 2021 11:29 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Feeling bad for full time missionaries
Replies: 13
Views: 3538

Re: Feeling bad for full time missionaries

I was a missionary in France in the mid-80s and it was rough trying to function in a foreign language in a country that had little use for Americans or religion and especially not for an American religion. I still have warm feelings for the family in my first area that had a standing appointment wit...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Sun Oct 03, 2021 12:08 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: For those not listening to conference
Replies: 13
Views: 3776

Re: For those not listening to conference

Those chilaquiles look amazing! My never-mo aunt came into town on Thursday -- Friday we saw the touring production of Cats (audience was masked). It was a powerful experience to be with a live audience enjoying the first live theatre in many months and the applause was thunderous. She left early th...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Sep 15, 2021 8:09 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Who thinks they're going to the CK?
Replies: 22
Views: 5504

Re: Who thinks they're going to the CK?

I remember when I resigned myself to the fact that I just wasn't CK material. I felt guilty and a little ashamed, but also (when I was being honest with myself) relieved. Trying to live up to CK expectations in mortality was so taxing I couldn't imagine having to do it for eternity.
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:25 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Five Months Down. 55 To Go.
Replies: 17
Views: 5323

Re: Five Months Down. 54 To Go.

I'm always interested in these updates. It sounds like a pretty tough slog, at least at the moment. Your last comment, about how much the job can take and take, triggered a memory. I was good friends with both the wife and the adult daughter of the man who was bishop during my last active years. Alt...