Search found 283 matches

by Fifi de la Vergne
Mon Oct 24, 2022 1:03 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Fish out of water
Replies: 15
Views: 651

Re: Fish out of water

Have some interesting high council stories that I need to share, and when I have time I'll give a report that will better illustrate how I deal with things on a macro institutional level. . . .Just last week, one of the ward family history consultants was asking me about my family history and templ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Oct 12, 2022 7:41 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Does the LDS church bring you closer to God?
Replies: 12
Views: 428

Re: Does the LDS church bring you closer to God?

I wasn't raised in a religious household, but from the time I was a little girl I had deep spiritual feelings and a desire to connect with the divine. What initially drew me to the church was that being with church members and the missionaries seemed to tap into those feelings and yes, I felt closer...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Aug 30, 2022 12:45 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Racist Incident at Duke/BYU Volleyball Game
Replies: 18
Views: 1102

Re: Racist Incident at Duke/BYU Volleyball Game

I liked the last line of that article... Isn't it a shame that the 19 year old Duke players were the only adults in the room. How about that whole last paragraph? It appears that BYU has a past with which it refuses to reckon, meaning it has a present that still contains this element of rot. If the...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 9:58 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 1590

Re: Resignation Poll

Jeffret, how did you submit your resignation then -- did you just send a letter to church headquarters, or use Quit Mormon, or something else? I thought for Quit Mormon you need a membership number, which is why I've felt stalled. I'd like to do it as quickly and painlessly as possible. I used Quit...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:08 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 1590

Re: Resignation Poll

https://quitmormon.com/ Quite easy way to handle it. The only real hassle is you need to get it notarized before they can process it. As an added bonus, they specify DNC as part of the paperwork. I work with a couple of notaries who would be happy to do that part for me -- but I think I have to tra...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:36 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 1590

Re: Resignation Poll

It hasn't been that big of a difference since the resignation, other than we never get any contact, unlike the former DNC request we had. (Local members were pretty good and mostly honored it, though sometimes not the young, bold (outrageous) missionaries.) For the most part my requests for no cont...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:28 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 1590

Re: Resignation Poll

The only obstacle now is logistical -- I don't know what ward I'm in or my membership number, so I've got to track those down and start the paperwork. I didn't need that info when I resigned. I stopped attending before the church had whatever member login system they've created, so I never had a ne...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Aug 25, 2022 4:33 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Resignation Poll
Replies: 29
Views: 1590

Re: Resignation Poll

This most recent news article really made me feel -- viscerally -- that I can't bear to maintain any association with them. I have one son who is still active, and he was the one I didn't want to hurt. I talked to him a couple of weeks ago and asked him how he would feel if I resigned and he asked m...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Aug 24, 2022 9:43 am
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: The hits keep coming
Replies: 11
Views: 1835

Re: The hits keep coming

Everything Red Ryder said. This is not a good fit for you or for you wife, and once you get past the discomfort of refusing (it'll happen faster than you think) you'll both be much happier.

Teaching gospel doctrine is one of the worst callings I can think of as a PIMO member.
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Jun 28, 2022 1:41 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: WML - Are you in town this weekend?
Replies: 13
Views: 1229

Re: WML - Are you in town this weekend?

When I was in the process of detaching myself from the church, I was pulled in and asked to accept a calling. I had to ask twice what calling it was before they would tell me it was to teach RS. It really is a standard part of their playbook to hook you in any way possible without giving you any mor...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Mar 24, 2022 7:15 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Guilty confessions
Replies: 10
Views: 1686

Re: Guilty confessions

A couple of weeks ago I went down a kind of Sabbath rabbit-hole -- I started playing some of my favorite Sunday morning music. It had been years sinced I'd listened to anything churchy, and the music brought back a rush of really big feelings. I mostly don't miss anything about church, but that day ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Feb 17, 2022 9:15 am
Forum: Staying Faithful
Topic: Fantasy has its place
Replies: 11
Views: 3254

Re: Fantasy has its place

I love this post, Moksha. A friend told me she was struggling with Christmas after concluding that the Nativity story had very little basis in history. My response was that it is still a lovely story, and has as much meaning for me as A Christmas Carol or The Lord of the Rings -- neither of which is...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Oct 26, 2021 11:29 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Feeling bad for full time missionaries
Replies: 13
Views: 2804

Re: Feeling bad for full time missionaries

I was a missionary in France in the mid-80s and it was rough trying to function in a foreign language in a country that had little use for Americans or religion and especially not for an American religion. I still have warm feelings for the family in my first area that had a standing appointment wit...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Sun Oct 03, 2021 12:08 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: For those not listening to conference
Replies: 13
Views: 3033

Re: For those not listening to conference

Those chilaquiles look amazing! My never-mo aunt came into town on Thursday -- Friday we saw the touring production of Cats (audience was masked). It was a powerful experience to be with a live audience enjoying the first live theatre in many months and the applause was thunderous. She left early th...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Sep 15, 2021 8:09 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Who thinks they're going to the CK?
Replies: 22
Views: 4214

Re: Who thinks they're going to the CK?

I remember when I resigned myself to the fact that I just wasn't CK material. I felt guilty and a little ashamed, but also (when I was being honest with myself) relieved. Trying to live up to CK expectations in mortality was so taxing I couldn't imagine having to do it for eternity.
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:25 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Five Months Down. 55 To Go.
Replies: 17
Views: 4047

Re: Five Months Down. 54 To Go.

I'm always interested in these updates. It sounds like a pretty tough slog, at least at the moment. Your last comment, about how much the job can take and take, triggered a memory. I was good friends with both the wife and the adult daughter of the man who was bishop during my last active years. Alt...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 27, 2021 2:55 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU
Replies: 68
Views: 15118

Re: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU

My nephew's response to Holland's talk was to come out on Facebook. Thing is, he's recently married -- to a woman -- and she also made a long post. They both talked about their faith in the gospel and the priesthood and their support of the brethren . . . you can all fill in the rest, I'm sure. I've...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Jul 21, 2021 7:15 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Temple Garments discussed in the New York Times
Replies: 6
Views: 1925

Temple Garments discussed in the New York Times

The headline: Among Mormon Women, Frank Talk About Sacred Underclothes Frustrated by itchy, constrictive church-designed garments, they are asking for better fit, more options and “buttery soft fabric.” https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/21/us/mormon-women-underclothes.html?action=click&algo=bandit-all...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:26 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 2490

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

The way the church pushes “goal setting” by demanding totally unrealistic goals, them shaming and berating anyone not reaching those impossible goals is abuse. So, treat yourself like someone who lived in an abusive situation, because you are. You are being triggered. When you cannot avoid the trig...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:21 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 2490

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

Fifi, I too struggle with setting goals. I have to do something similar for work for myself and my department. I’ve pulled in my staff and we’ve had a few brainstorming sessions to root out reasonable goals. I always start with the mundane stuff that has to be done, that everyone already does, etc....