Search found 549 matches

by MerrieMiss
Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:30 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Yes Men?
Replies: 10
Views: 438

Re: Yes Men?

In the church council I am currently serving on, we are told we can disagree all we want internally. Discuss. Dissect. Disagree. But when we leave the room we need to be a unified team that is consistent in our messaging. It sounds good in theory but I don’t agree with a lot of the decisions made a...
by MerrieMiss
Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:26 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: To tell in-laws or not?
Replies: 16
Views: 340

Re: To tell in-laws or not?

A lot of interesting points of view and ideas here. I should probably clarify, by “telling” them, what I really meant was just being myself and letting them come to whatever conclusions they want to – I’m not really an email the whole family or have a serious conversation with them kind of person. I...
by MerrieMiss
Mon Jul 15, 2019 12:34 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: To tell in-laws or not?
Replies: 16
Views: 340

To tell in-laws or not?

I came clean about my non-belief with my husband about six months ago. He very much wants me to keep it hidden, particularly from his family, because he is worried about how they will treat me. I’m getting to the point I just want to live my own life and I don’t want to hide and pretend any longer. ...
by MerrieMiss
Mon Jul 15, 2019 12:17 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Yes Men?
Replies: 10
Views: 438

Re: Yes Men?

I think we place WAY too much importance on the need for unity, and that effectively stifles lively discussion on the issues. Perhaps this isn't what you're looking for, but I see the family as a microcosm of the institutional church with this issue. My husband’s family is an example of how the “ye...
by MerrieMiss
Fri May 24, 2019 6:58 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Is NOM really "middle way" to any extent anymore?
Replies: 60
Views: 2283

Re: Is NOM really "middle way" to any extent anymore?

New Order Mormons are those who no longer believe some (or much) of the dogma or doctrines of the LDS Church, but who want to maintain membership for cultural, social, or even spiritual reasons. New Order Mormons recognize both good and bad in the Church, and have determined that the Church does no...
by MerrieMiss
Wed May 08, 2019 8:38 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Anyone a former bishop or stake pres?
Replies: 12
Views: 532

Re: Anyone a former bishop or stake pres?

græy wrote:
Wed May 08, 2019 7:45 am
The only flags or notes on membership records are for outstanding church discipline or abuse cases as far as I'm aware.
I asked a family member who was still a bishop about five years ago, and this is exactly what he said.
by MerrieMiss
Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:32 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Liberal/ Conservative Dance
Replies: 15
Views: 571

Re: Liberal/ Conservative Dance

I think changes in my political beliefs happened just slightly ahead of my changes in religious beliefs and it was that ever so small change that led me to consider how wrong I could be about other things. When I first became disaffected, I swung from far right to far left politically. I stayed ther...
by MerrieMiss
Mon Apr 22, 2019 10:13 am
Forum: Support
Topic: John Larsen on leaving the church but not leaving it alone
Replies: 14
Views: 767

Re: John Larsen on leaving the church but not leaving it alone

I've said it before but Mormonism was never my community even when I was active. My ward wasn't my friend group. I've always been a big time reader and so very few mormons read anything outside of their religion. I like to think about and discuss big ideas but Mormons always fall back on their pat ...
by MerrieMiss
Mon Apr 22, 2019 9:35 am
Forum: Support
Topic: John Larsen on leaving the church but not leaving it alone
Replies: 14
Views: 767

Re: John Larsen on leaving the church but not leaving it alone

I feel like I'm going through another life change that is similar to a faith crisis, but it's a soft, happy, friendly version of it. I'm beginning to finally let go of a lot of things that seemed so important to me and turn my attention to new, bigger things. I know what it's like to have the rug p...
by MerrieMiss
Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:04 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: John Larsen on leaving the church but not leaving it alone
Replies: 14
Views: 767

Re: John Larsen on leaving the church but not leaving it alone

I just happened to finish listening to this one this morning. I really liked it. About three quarters of the way through, I thought it had the rhythm of a well-done sacrament talk, and unlike so many sacrament talks, it was uplifting. A few things I’ll comment on: • Atheism is for the privileged. I ...
by MerrieMiss
Fri Apr 19, 2019 8:57 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: New and Confused (so long its not true, one little woman...)
Replies: 30
Views: 1454

Re: New and Confused (so long its not true, one little woman...)

Go find the old Mormon Expression podcast episodes by John Larsen. Here’s the top 25 list from a reddit post archived. https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/96823t/top_25_mormon_expression_podcast_episodes_the/ If I may suggest episode 220, Searching for the Smoking Gun and the Parallax Proble...
by MerrieMiss
Sun Apr 14, 2019 11:27 am
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: Fantasyland: How America Went Haywire
Replies: 1
Views: 138

Re: Fantasyland: How America Went Haywire

I read it last year and didn't care for it much. After hearing an interview with the author I was excited to read it, but in my opinion it was overrated and disappointing. I never finished the last twenty pages or so as I lost motivation. Since it was a year ago, I don't remember all of the issues I...
by MerrieMiss
Fri Apr 05, 2019 3:19 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Intervention
Replies: 18
Views: 832

Re: Intervention

This is so weird. I don't know how you kept it together. So, so weird.

Was your wife there? Does she know about this? I would imagine many active mormons thinking this is over the top.
by MerrieMiss
Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:49 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Thursday Night Group Therapy? (7pm pacific time)
Replies: 21
Views: 946

Re: Anyone need to talk through this stuff?

I don't know what one says or does to change minds or have useful dialogue. I've long ago got to the point where if I think there's no bridging the gap, then I don't even bother to engage and in the few instances when I do, I usually regret it because it is a waste of time and energy. I'm fortunate ...
by MerrieMiss
Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:44 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Thursday Night Group Therapy? (7pm pacific time)
Replies: 21
Views: 946

Re: Anyone need to talk through this stuff?

slavereeno wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:47 am
Yes, I like the idea, but perhaps schedule in advance.
Same.
by MerrieMiss
Tue Apr 02, 2019 7:20 pm
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: Complicated Family Tree
Replies: 10
Views: 488

Re: Complicated Family Tree

I had difficulty getting pregnant and we looked into adoption through at least three different organizations. It is difficult. It is very invasive. It's also expensive. And it comes with a lot of issues that do not exist when you have your own. I'm sure what this couple did was also expensive, so I ...
by MerrieMiss
Wed Mar 27, 2019 3:28 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Brainstorm - Psychological Damage
Replies: 24
Views: 818

Re: Brainstorm - Psychological Damage

I mean, could some of those things be done in healthy ways? Maybe. But anytime people start going on about how "it's faaaaaammmmilllly and we've always done it this way in our faaaaaammmmmiilllllyy," i think it's a red flag. I see that you've met my in-laws. (And alas too - some of your examples so...
by MerrieMiss
Mon Mar 25, 2019 10:53 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Ward Council is Closed (Minded)
Replies: 44
Views: 2127

Re: Ward Council is Closed (Minded)

Sometimes I think Ward Council is what’s going to break my husband’s shelf. Every week he comes home from it just a little more disappointed/disgusted with how things are done/work. I have to remind myself to keep my mouth shut because the church really is its own worst enemy. I hear of all these wh...
by MerrieMiss
Thu Mar 21, 2019 1:58 pm
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: I wish I hadn't volunteered
Replies: 2
Views: 185

I wish I hadn't volunteered

Can I just vent about something? My son’s 4H group is doing a service project for a cause that’s very important to me so I volunteered to be in charge of it. I’m really regretting it. The project needs a lot of scaffolding to be an effective project for kids, which isn’t a problem but will take more...