Search found 138 matches

by ulmite
Sun Apr 01, 2018 12:27 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Lds Church statistics
Replies: 14
Views: 584

Re: Lds Church statistics

Should've mentioned that actually 2016 had a sharper decline in baptisms and births than 2017.
by ulmite
Sun Apr 01, 2018 3:00 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Lds Church statistics
Replies: 14
Views: 584

Re: Lds Church statistics

104748 deaths, excommunications, and resignations for 2017.
101159 deaths, excommunications, and resignations for 2016.

Looking back at the 2016 statistics, 2017 was actually better for the church. Unless everyone stopped dying and all of those became resignations.
by ulmite
Sat Mar 31, 2018 6:06 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Priesthood Session Thread
Replies: 52
Views: 1558

Re: Priesthood Session Thread

-10 for trying to make 14 year-olds who can read [scriptures here] into a joke.
by ulmite
Sat Mar 31, 2018 6:02 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Lds Church statistics
Replies: 14
Views: 584

Re: Lds Church statistics

Compared to last year:

75 new stakes.
Same number of missions.
3 fewer districts.
202 new wards.
2475 fewer new children of record.
6042 fewer convert baptisms.
3897 fewer full-time missionaries.
2477 more church-service missionaries.
by ulmite
Sat Mar 31, 2018 5:35 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Priesthood Session Thread
Replies: 52
Views: 1558

Re: Priesthood Session Thread

I have to dock Elder Christofferson 1 point for every 5 words he quotes from what Nelson said minutes, nay seconds ago.
Someone can do the counting later.
by ulmite
Sat Mar 31, 2018 5:30 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Priesthood Session Thread
Replies: 52
Views: 1558

Re: Priesthood Session Thread

wow, High Priests just got more elite!
by ulmite
Sat Mar 31, 2018 9:32 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Saturday Morning Session Thread!!!!
Replies: 153
Views: 2733

Re: Saturday Morning Session Thread!!!!

Ok, I got it, I am done streaming conference.
by ulmite
Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:12 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: At which point is someone a full tithe payer (rhetorical)
Replies: 16
Views: 423

Re: At which point is someone a full tithe payer (rhetorical)

Do converts have to pay back tithing? (rhetorical)
by ulmite
Tue Mar 27, 2018 1:49 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: What is that you want that the church isn't providing?
Replies: 29
Views: 841

Re: What is that you want that the church isn't providing?

moksha wrote:
Sun Mar 25, 2018 8:48 am
What is that you want that the church isn't providing?
A rebirth of wonder.
I'll stick with the penguin's phrasing.

I can think of many things that frustrate me within the Church, but I would not put those in the "provide" category.

Oh, and good music (e.g. paid organists) would also be nice.
by ulmite
Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:00 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Is coffee evil?
Replies: 54
Views: 1330

Re: Is coffee evil?

And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
by ulmite
Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:37 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Church Security
Replies: 15
Views: 551

Re: Church Security

In my (European) country, due to terror attacks at some point we received directives to have someone stand guard at the front door of the building. Since Europe has realized that if the only people with guns are hunters shooting wild boar with hunting rifles, fewer people get shot, there are no guns...
by ulmite
Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:55 pm
Forum: Staying Faithful
Topic: In Which Leadership Takes the Underlings for Granted--A math problem for you
Replies: 21
Views: 838

Re: In Which Leadership Takes the Underlings for Granted--A math problem for you

Usually there is someone who can fill in for a chorister. I beg to differ. Half the time the chorister does not know how to beat a measure, and only 3 or 4 people in the ward actually look at him/her. A baboon with a stick also works. Also it doesn't seem like lacking an organist would be that big ...
by ulmite
Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:09 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: God and Mary the mother of Jesus
Replies: 35
Views: 836

Re: God and Mary the mother of Jesus

Huh. In all my years of Church attendance I never once heard that God and Mary actually did it. I always thought that God just 'magically' fertilized an egg cell in Mary's womb. All you really need is a set of chromosomes. No sweat compared to healing all sorts of diseases and raising people from th...
by ulmite
Wed Nov 29, 2017 6:34 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Brushes with "the other side"?
Replies: 164
Views: 4211

Re: Brushes with "the other side"?

First off, I have to correct bad science. IIRC, the "double slit" problem is one in theoretical physics that does not have a known explanation in our natural world of three dimensions of space and one of time. The double-slit experiment is perfectly understood by scientists, and though paradoxical, ...
by ulmite
Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:21 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Celestial Procreation?
Replies: 34
Views: 1118

Re: Celestial Procreation?

Hmmm. It seems to me that Heavenly Parents (who we are told have bodies of flesh and bone) having intercourse would make children with bodies of flesh and bone. So therfore we must be children of the mind, and in that case you get rid of any physical limitations.
by ulmite
Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:47 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Priesthood and Women's Session Changes
Replies: 11
Views: 447

Re: Priesthood and Women's Session Changes

Note how people with a priesthood antenna get to piggyback on the Annual GCs and people without one only get the semi-annual GCs.
by ulmite
Thu Oct 19, 2017 5:07 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Does a faithful lifestyle make you fat?
Replies: 21
Views: 720

Re: Does a faithful lifestyle make you fat?

It only seems that way because Americans are fat, and Mormons (especially the ones you see) are overwhelmingly Americans.
Utah actually has a low obesity rate compared to the rest of the country.
by ulmite
Thu Oct 12, 2017 5:07 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Prophet for a day?
Replies: 23
Views: 745

Re: Prophet for a day?

Ordain a woman to fill Elder Hale's shoes and go seal a gay couple in the temple.
At the end of the day, set a precedent by retiring from the Q15, and encouraging anyone else too old to run a lap around the tabernacle to do the same. (Not trying to slight disabled people, only 80-year old guys.)
by ulmite
Sun Oct 01, 2017 2:42 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Sunday Afternoon NOMference
Replies: 39
Views: 1294

Re: Sunday Afternoon NOMference

-5 per conference talk per conference talk FROM THIS SESSION that he quotes. So... -25? Did I count right?

EDIT : Another couple quotes gives -35.

Also, cog.dis. is totally normal. Stop worrying.
by ulmite
Sun Oct 01, 2017 9:35 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Sunday morning NOMfrence
Replies: 49
Views: 1289

Re: Sunday morning NOMfrence

"I would like to bear my testimony that there is no such thing as a miracle" - heard at General Conference