Search found 127 matches

by ulmite
Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:55 pm
Forum: Staying Faithful
Topic: In Which Leadership Takes the Underlings for Granted--A math problem for you
Replies: 18
Views: 287

Re: In Which Leadership Takes the Underlings for Granted--A math problem for you

Usually there is someone who can fill in for a chorister. I beg to differ. Half the time the chorister does not know how to beat a measure, and only 3 or 4 people in the ward actually look at him/her. A baboon with a stick also works. Also it doesn't seem like lacking an organist would be that big ...
by ulmite
Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:09 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: God and Mary the mother of Jesus
Replies: 35
Views: 626

Re: God and Mary the mother of Jesus

Huh. In all my years of Church attendance I never once heard that God and Mary actually did it. I always thought that God just 'magically' fertilized an egg cell in Mary's womb. All you really need is a set of chromosomes. No sweat compared to healing all sorts of diseases and raising people from th...
by ulmite
Wed Nov 29, 2017 6:34 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Brushes with "the other side"?
Replies: 123
Views: 2348

Re: Brushes with "the other side"?

First off, I have to correct bad science. IIRC, the "double slit" problem is one in theoretical physics that does not have a known explanation in our natural world of three dimensions of space and one of time. The double-slit experiment is perfectly understood by scientists, and though paradoxical, ...
by ulmite
Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:21 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Celestial Procreation?
Replies: 34
Views: 888

Re: Celestial Procreation?

Hmmm. It seems to me that Heavenly Parents (who we are told have bodies of flesh and bone) having intercourse would make children with bodies of flesh and bone. So therfore we must be children of the mind, and in that case you get rid of any physical limitations.
by ulmite
Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:47 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Priesthood and Women's Session Changes
Replies: 11
Views: 377

Re: Priesthood and Women's Session Changes

Note how people with a priesthood antenna get to piggyback on the Annual GCs and people without one only get the semi-annual GCs.
by ulmite
Thu Oct 19, 2017 5:07 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Does a faithful lifestyle make you fat?
Replies: 21
Views: 590

Re: Does a faithful lifestyle make you fat?

It only seems that way because Americans are fat, and Mormons (especially the ones you see) are overwhelmingly Americans.
Utah actually has a low obesity rate compared to the rest of the country.
by ulmite
Thu Oct 12, 2017 5:07 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Prophet for a day?
Replies: 23
Views: 635

Re: Prophet for a day?

Ordain a woman to fill Elder Hale's shoes and go seal a gay couple in the temple.
At the end of the day, set a precedent by retiring from the Q15, and encouraging anyone else too old to run a lap around the tabernacle to do the same. (Not trying to slight disabled people, only 80-year old guys.)
by ulmite
Sun Oct 01, 2017 2:42 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Sunday Afternoon NOMference
Replies: 39
Views: 1169

Re: Sunday Afternoon NOMference

-5 per conference talk per conference talk FROM THIS SESSION that he quotes. So... -25? Did I count right?

EDIT : Another couple quotes gives -35.

Also, cog.dis. is totally normal. Stop worrying.
by ulmite
Sun Oct 01, 2017 9:35 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Sunday morning NOMfrence
Replies: 49
Views: 1162

Re: Sunday morning NOMfrence

"I would like to bear my testimony that there is no such thing as a miracle" - heard at General Conference
by ulmite
Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:58 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: GenCon Fall 2017
Replies: 22
Views: 841

Re: GenCon Fall 2017

Maybe we should collaborate a NOMish one here? What squares would you put on the board? We should also hand out the awards. Ponderize (oh wait, that was so last year...or was it the year before?) Taffy Pull (that would be awesome if he used that one again!) New Ship Zion Miracle Succor (they really...
by ulmite
Tue Sep 19, 2017 11:20 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Faith and the lack of literalism
Replies: 12
Views: 368

Re: Faith and the lack of literalism

As a scientist, I cannot believe that anything in Genesis is literal. There are man-made pots in the Louvre that predate Adam, and for the creation story to be literally true, God would have to have been seriously messing with us when He created the Earth with archaeological remains, fossils, and ra...
by ulmite
Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:13 pm
Forum: Church Lessons
Topic: Come Follow Me
Replies: 15
Views: 701

Re: Come Follow Me

♪ Come, follow me, ♪ ♪ The Q15 said ♪ - The idea for first Sundays sounds like a good idea, for an ideal ward (then again, what doesn't). It could be used to share actual real useful practical knowledge as opposed to just talking about doing it. Maybe having the ward brainstorm good service projects...
by ulmite
Mon Aug 28, 2017 6:41 am
Forum: Support
Topic: End of Summer Confession Time
Replies: 57
Views: 2240

Re: End of Summer Confession Time

I climbed over the temple fence (10 feet) to cut through the temple grounds on my way to church.
Twice.
by ulmite
Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:33 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Leadership Meeting Leak
Replies: 44
Views: 1854

Re: Leadership Meeting Leak

Q. What are some of the problems we are seeing with missionaries and how can we help prepare them?
ElderClarke wrote:Have the bishop get frank and ask specific questions to get details now
That right there explains a LOT of the inappropriate nonsense going on behind those closed doors. Creepy.
by ulmite
Mon Aug 07, 2017 10:32 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Rules of Disengagement: How to go inactive while still active.
Replies: 22
Views: 646

Re: Rules of Disengagement: How to go inactive while still active.

4. (revised) Stop by the water fountain every hour on fast Sundays
23. Bear your testimony about an R-rated movie
24. Express your thankfulness to the Lord for Skittles, ice-cream sundaes, Wendy's, and donuts during the closing prayer. (true story!)
by ulmite
Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:48 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Possible photograph of Joseph
Replies: 10
Views: 514

Re: Possible photograph of Joseph

I'll buy it. The line and point analysis checks through, and my first impressions of the photograph were "That does look like Joseph". Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under ...
by ulmite
Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:34 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Jan van Leiden : the Jospeh Smith of three centuries past
Replies: 8
Views: 335

Re: Jan van Leiden : the Jospeh Smith of three centuries past

Hagoth wrote:
Fri Aug 04, 2017 8:57 am
There's an excellent podcast about it:
http://www.dancarlin.com/product/hardco ... s-of-doom/

Warning: it's over 4 hours long
Promise: it's worth it
That would be the long version I linked to :)
by ulmite
Thu Aug 03, 2017 7:35 pm
Forum: Miscellaneous
Topic: Required alcohol
Replies: 17
Views: 511

Re: Required alcohol

Well, if you are a really big guy (250 pounds +) then it will take double the amount of alcohol to create the same state as for someone half your weight. If you are a tiny guy (120 pounds) then that is much more scary.
by ulmite
Thu Aug 03, 2017 7:19 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: The Best Quotes of NOM
Replies: 11
Views: 474

Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

moksha wrote:
Sun Jun 25, 2017 3:39 am
2bizE wrote:
Sat Jun 24, 2017 5:28 pm
Who is on Uchtdorfs side?
God.