Search found 124 matches

by lostinmiddlemormonism
Sun Feb 10, 2019 3:38 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Thankful
Replies: 3
Views: 194

Thankful

Today I am thankful for a good bishop one who understands that: Christ is more important than church That church is about bringing people closer to Christ That Christ understood that the first step in refining people is loving them just how they are That Christlike love is not judegemental, Rather, ...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Feb 05, 2019 9:52 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Whack-a-mole hack job
Replies: 4
Views: 293

Re: Whack-a-mole hack job

I'm just in because initially I thought the title was Whack-a-mole hand job.

-lost
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:14 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: The Covenant Hand?
Replies: 18
Views: 372

Re: The Covenant Hand?

Not a cult...


Not a cult...


Not a cult...


...right?
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Fri Jan 25, 2019 6:00 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Next change predictions
Replies: 30
Views: 976

Re: Next change predictions

Women can marry as many 14 year...ummm sorry, several months shy of their 15th birthday boys as they would like. This is to help them stop p,aging with their little factories.

You KNOW Russ had fantasies of this when he was a young deacon...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:11 am
Forum: Support
Topic: NOM 1st ward assignments
Replies: 28
Views: 693

Re: NOM 1st ward assignments

Hagoth you are hereby assigned to dispose of my trash this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement. I will feel horribly guilty if I don't do this and I will beat myself up about it for years. I fear that other NOM members hear that I turned down a calling they ...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:10 am
Forum: Support
Topic: NOM 1st ward assignments
Replies: 28
Views: 693

Re: NOM 1st ward assignments

Moksha you are hereby assigned to come and shovel my driveway this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement . Found a replacement and this guy likes wintery outdoor weather. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/fb/White_Walker-Game_of_Thrones-S02-E10...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:14 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Text from Bishop
Replies: 22
Views: 825

Re: Text from Bishop

Bishop, thank you for your email. Apparently my attempt at polite did not work. Now I will try blunt...No! Please don't ask me again and force me to resort to rude.
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:11 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: NOM 1st ward assignments
Replies: 28
Views: 693

Re: NOM 1st ward assignments

What am I supposed to do with all of your porno's you've got hidden down in this basement? And what's with the 400 lbs of wheat? Those are educational films...I just finished watching The Sordid Barn Affair and then I'm thinking about Several Months Shy of 15 next. The wheat is for when we all have...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Jan 22, 2019 3:32 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: NOM 1st ward assignments
Replies: 28
Views: 693

Re: NOM 1st ward assignments

...the noodly appendage?
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Jan 22, 2019 2:58 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: NOM 1st ward assignments
Replies: 28
Views: 693

Re: NOM 1st ward assignments

Dishes!! Pam1.png Of course I'll do your dishes! But in order for me to show up, you are going to have to pray and read your scriptures. And if I don't show up, it's your fault not mine. ;) Damn! I mean...uh...darn...I mean awww shucks. I'll trade you two Uchdorf talk readings in exchange for readi...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Jan 22, 2019 2:57 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: NOM 1st ward assignments
Replies: 28
Views: 693

Re: NOM 1st ward assignments

Stig wrote:
Tue Jan 22, 2019 2:39 pm
You forgot the most important part - each of those people must pay you 10% of their income in order to have the privilege of performing said assignment.
I'm running a discount only 5% of your income. That's why we are a truthier church than that other one...

-lost
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Jan 22, 2019 2:26 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: NOM 1st ward assignments
Replies: 28
Views: 693

NOM 1st ward assignments

Moksha you are hereby assigned to come and shovel my driveway this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement. MoPag you are hereby assigned to do my dishes this week. If you cannot make it, it is your responsibility to find a replacement. Wtfluff you are hereby ass...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Fri Jan 18, 2019 12:06 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Meeting with Bishop Tonight
Replies: 26
Views: 795

Re: Meeting with Bishop Tonight

You would think church leaders would be cautious about recommending people read the Book of Mormon...after all when Nephi thought God was talking to him he beheaded his church leader.
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Thu Jan 17, 2019 9:05 am
Forum: Support
Topic: To clean or not to clean?
Replies: 27
Views: 851

Re: To clean or not to clean?

I have told our cleaning coordinator, "I won't be upset with you if you assign me to the cleaning list so long as you agree not get upset when I don't do it."

-Lost
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Jan 15, 2019 7:05 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Not to Thread-Jack the doubting thread...
Replies: 7
Views: 261

Not to Thread-Jack the doubting thread...

Something that I have recently been ponderizing (TM) on over the last several weeks is the difference between fact, interpretation of those facts, and the conclusions drawn from those interpretations. To provide a non-religious example: Donald Trump is the president of the United States. This is a f...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Wed Dec 12, 2018 6:39 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Giving Machines = reverse ATM
Replies: 26
Views: 770

Re: Giving Machines = reverse ATM

LOL! I am honored :)
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Dec 11, 2018 4:28 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Giving Machines = reverse ATM
Replies: 26
Views: 770

Re: Giving Machines = reverse ATM

Looks like the cost of two chickens cleared my bank. Online banking says I paid "Bonniville Communications". Bonneville Communications is a legitimate charity, no? No? Are you sure? Golly Gee Willikers, that's a surprise! (For those who don't have a functioning magic rock (or magic hat?) to transla...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Tue Dec 11, 2018 4:26 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: I'm about to be officially "outed": NOM Crowd-Sourcing
Replies: 68
Views: 1799

Re: I'm about to be officially "outed": NOM Crowd-Sourcing

First and foremost, I am sorry that you are having to experience this and go through this. This could be in my future, though so far the eldest two are out. So that is a good thing. Here is how I would consider handling it: 1. Snarky - I enjoy the International House of Pancakes more than the Intern...
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Mon Dec 10, 2018 11:51 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Giving Machines = reverse ATM
Replies: 26
Views: 770

Re: Giving Machines = reverse ATM

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Dec 10, 2018 11:31 am
Looks like the cost of two chickens cleared my bank. Online banking says I paid "Bonniville Communications".
which is interesting since that is a "for profit" arm of the church.

-lost
by lostinmiddlemormonism
Thu Nov 29, 2018 4:23 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Basketball Fellowshipping
Replies: 10
Views: 358

Re: Basketball Fellowshipping

It's better to have wrestled...and lost...than to have played basketball.