NOM

Pretty sure Jesus invited us to follow His path rather than issuing a command. Obedience is the first rule of slavery, rather than a religious dictum. The call for obedience was issued by men who benefit from this obedience such as slave masters and the top rungs of an earthly hierarchical command....

Even as a TBM, the more I learned about the priesthood, the less I seemed to understand. Now as I review different teachings on the priesthood, I'm convinced that nobody, not even church leaders know what it is. This gives more credence to it being made up. There have been so many differing talks e...

I liked how you said "I have a testimony about..." or "I feel..." instead of "I know." It's going along with the wise idea that certainty is where we're "damned" - we stop growing. I think one of the old GA's said, "An egoist will never get anywhere because he thinks he's already arrived." I bore my...

My wife and I have been through some tough times because of my rejection of religion. But we pulled it off and are closer than we have ever been. We both learned to love and accept who we are as individuals. So those that are going through mixed faith issues. It can work. There was a time when I so...

One of the most profound church meetings was when everyone anonymously wrote a challenge or trial they were facing. As the teacher read it, I was shocked. As a TBM, I took so much at face value. As I've come to realize there are shadow aspects of myself and the church, I'm noticing it more often in ...

I feel like I'm exploring new territory within myself - a new me. And "Narrow is the way" - to me, the middle way is not really a set path but unique to each. Today I read, "There is pleasure in the pathless wood." I didn't choose this avatar. It chose me. The avatar didn't specifically choose me. B...

It's just the Church saying "look, see we aren't self-absorbed. We don't just care about our organization. We care about the world, and our members are lighting it". But all the Facebook posts and tweets and social media whatevers don't change the fact that the Church really is self-absorbed and ca...

This is a good question that I've wondered about every now and then. I think the answer is quite varied. My experience with DW is that she is all about the community of the church. She's never had what she would call a spiritual experience. For her, its about fitting within the larger group, and fi...

As I've mentioned before, when my wife said "I don't want to read the essays because I don't want to have to defend them" I was, and still am, convinced that she knew that didn't mean defend them to me; she didn't want to have to defend them to herself. I sincerely believe that the average TBM does...

One thing my therapist said is that people value different things. I value authenticity more than community. That's just part of me. When my husband tried to point out small things about the church in the 15 years before my shelf crashed, I shrugged it off because I knew I had the truth. He, on the...

I definitely know that feeling of being treated as "less than" from a spouse. Sorry you've gone through such a hard time. Fighting depression is tough. I'm glad things are better between you and your husband. Thanks. I should have clarified why I don't feel like I can tell DW about this. If I do, s...

I love this discussion. It seems so much more honest, and humble, than Gospel Doctrine, where people seem to try to convince each other, and themselves about a certain view of reality. Personally I don't have the answer, but I conceive of God as the Source of Love and Truth. Where does Love come fr...

My ex boyfriend who kind of helped me open my eyes about the church - was mad because I essentially chose the church over him. He always quoted this song... Pink Floyd "Wish you were here" - accusing me of choosing the easy way. Years later, I threw it back in his face because he has his own little ...

I used to ask this same question. Then I realized he was always close. So close in fact, that I found he was right between my ears the whole time. He even speaks to me all the time too. The kingdom of God cometh not with observation. Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the k...

Good comments, thank you.

I began writing my list, thinking of my DH, but then considered other TBM families' possible reasons.

And as mentioned, there are a variety of reasons and everyone's unique.

I really wonder what makes the difference - why some spouses follow along with the other in learning the good and bad of the church, and why some refuse to. Or as some may say, why some cling for dear life to "old wine bottles" while others can let go and progress. I imagine there are many factors: ...

DeepThinker, It's very understandable that you feel wronged - put down. I've been in your situation - though we got passed the tithing thing - we compromised. Considering my own internal process of situations like this, I tend to believe my DH when he puts me down in front of or to others simply for...

I remember this discussion came up on the NOM 1.0 board. I wish I could look it up. The Mormon definition of faith is self-contradictory. How is it possible to have faith? Faith is a belief in something that is true that you can't see. If you know that it is true it is not faith - it is knowledge. ...

RedRyder,
Thanks for explaining. Time - actually the changes that occur as time passes - does well, make things change!
I hope you find yourself in ways that help you feel better about life and all that goes with it.

Document,
Thanks!

I love setting goals for the New Year. I agree that now it is nice to just set the goal for me and not feel guilty about never being good enough (like if I set a goal to go to the temple once a month it would've been better if I did it once a week, nothing was ever good enough). I like to think in ...