Search found 102 matches

by sparky
Fri Aug 12, 2022 6:41 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Backfire effect vs Reactance
Replies: 2
Views: 135

Backfire effect vs Reactance

I was listening to the latest episode of the You Are Not So Smart podcast, episode 237 on the psychological phenomenon called "reactance." The host, David McRaney, describes the effect starting at ~7:20 to ~12 minutes in the podcast, but here's his basic definition: An innate bodily, automatic visce...
by sparky
Thu Aug 11, 2022 12:29 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: No more “tithing settlement…”
Replies: 22
Views: 412

Re: No more “tithing settlement…”

Sometimes I think The Brethren are using 1984 as a manual rather than a cautionary tale.

But in seriousness, it's nice to give the bishops more time for the holidays, and that's the only thing this changes, so it's a good step in my book. At least they avoided calling it "historic" or "revelation"
by sparky
Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:09 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Church Statement on AP article - training of those who work with children?
Replies: 12
Views: 281

Re: Church Statement on AP article - training of those who work with children?

..but it's something the church can point to and say, "look, we do stuff!" Which is the only reason they even did this...like so much in LDS culture it is all about the appearance over the substance. -lost Yes, and I should also note that the timing was clearly a response to the Prophet Sam Young's...
by sparky
Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:22 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Church Statement on AP article - training of those who work with children?
Replies: 12
Views: 281

Re: Church Statement on AP article - training of those who work with children?

I had to do the training once when I started a primary teaching calling three years ago, and I think it had only recently started then. I don't know what they mean by "every few years," I'm still in the same calling and haven't had to do it again. It's really inadequate for the magnitude of the prob...
by sparky
Wed Aug 03, 2022 7:24 am
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason
Replies: 8
Views: 804

Re: Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason

I was pretty lucky, at the end of 2019 the primary president sent a text asking if I would like to keep teaching the following year. I responded that I did not, and was released pretty quickly. I discussed it with DW before responding, and by that time she had had enough time to expect that this wo...
by sparky
Fri Jul 29, 2022 8:13 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Renlund story makes me mad
Replies: 18
Views: 659

Re: Renlund story makes me mad

The first paragraph is classic Mormon ethnocentrism and arrogance: In the Lord’s Church today, experienced priesthood holders work with those with less experience. I had a wonderful service opportunity that demonstrated why the Lord uses this pattern to establish the Church. Oh you mean the same "pa...
by sparky
Wed Jul 20, 2022 1:37 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Thoughts after visiting Utah
Replies: 14
Views: 620

Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

wtfluff wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 11:04 am

And I've also heard/read that there actually are Soda Shops outside of Utah, so ya'll need to quit with the loud laughter and speaking evil of the Lard's Theocracy. :ugeek:
You reminded me of this NY Times article from last December. Soda Shops have hit the big time!
by sparky
Wed Jul 20, 2022 9:38 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Thoughts after visiting Utah
Replies: 14
Views: 620

Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Whenever I go back to Utah to visit family (usually once a year at Thanksgiving) I'm so glad I left. The pollution and inversions are just getting worse, to the point where it's affecting my mother's health and I worry about her continuing to live there (she'd never leave). All the billboards for th...
by sparky
Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:48 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Did Robert Kirby retire?
Replies: 8
Views: 524

Re: Did Robert Kirby retire?

I don’t know. I just don’t know. I try. I don’t get it. Do you?" There's a really easy answer to his question. Gay people exist. They are a naturally occurring biological and sociological phenomenon. They are attracted to people of their same sex in the same way that hetero people are attracted to ...
by sparky
Tue Jul 19, 2022 7:38 am
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason
Replies: 8
Views: 804

Re: Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason

I appreciate the thoughts, RR, and congrats on your wife finally coming around! I've been following your story for several years, and it was quite a surprise when I popped back into NOM and saw that post. I think you're right about making intentions clear. Leaving things murky allows space for both ...
by sparky
Mon Jul 11, 2022 8:36 am
Forum: Support
Topic: 4 % tithing sounds like a good idea !!
Replies: 24
Views: 1054

Re: 4 % tithing sounds like a good idea !!

Among other distortions, is the famous Lorenzo Snow quote that is ellipsized to the point that it changes the entire meaning of the quote. Here is the LDS Church quote of Lorenzo Snow: "I plead with you in the name of the Lord, and I pray that every man, woman and child … shall pay one-tenth of the...
by sparky
Mon Jul 11, 2022 7:18 am
Forum: Support
Topic: 4 % tithing sounds like a good idea !!
Replies: 24
Views: 1054

Re: 4 % tithing sounds like a good idea !!

I've never heard of 4% tithing, but the original 'revelation' on tithing says to pay 10% of your interest annually. The modern church has interpreted that to maximum effect as meaning 10% of your income, with nuanced Mormons quibbling over whether it's your gross or net income; either way it's a ton...
by sparky
Fri Jul 08, 2022 1:38 pm
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason
Replies: 8
Views: 804

Re: Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason

...It's weird how normal it feels now for me to do what I want and her to do what she wants. We've also agreed to go to church twice a month and stay home together as a family the other weeks. It's very nice to not have the constant pain of church fresh in memory or looming ahead. I hope you can fi...
by sparky
Thu Jul 07, 2022 8:17 am
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason
Replies: 8
Views: 804

Baby steps: First time missing church for no "good" reason

Hi all, I'm checking back into my first post-shelf-breaking home here after being only semi-active on the forum for a long time. In short, I'm in the process of finally worming my way out of the Tentacles of Divine Providence after too many years as a PIMO. It's taking me longer than I'd hoped as I'...
by sparky
Wed Jul 06, 2022 1:24 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: 2nd Best Calling for PIMO Member?
Replies: 11
Views: 562

Re: 2nd Best Calling for PIMO Member?

One of the major issues I see with a "joint" calling with a spouse is it will be a lot harder to turn down. Maybe that's the Bishop's plan. Can confirm, I'm currently stuck in a primary teaching calling with DW and I feel trapped until they let us go and I can finally turn down whatever they try to...
by sparky
Wed Jul 06, 2022 11:14 am
Forum: Support
Topic: 2nd Best Calling for PIMO Member?
Replies: 11
Views: 562

Re: 2nd Best Calling for PIMO Member?

DW has been the sacrament meeting song chooser before. That one's great for a PIMO because there are no meetings required, she would just email the songs to the choirister and/or program maker each week
by sparky
Wed Feb 09, 2022 4:00 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Back again for another push
Replies: 6
Views: 864

Re: Back again for another push

A question for your wife that you might ask: Would you rather live with someone who loves you but was hiding their true feelings and not being their true self in order to not hurt you or would you rather live with a man who loves you and is completely honest with you even though the truth might be ...
by sparky
Wed Feb 09, 2022 7:59 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Back again for another push
Replies: 6
Views: 864

Back again for another push

I'm a longtime member here (since 2015) but a sporadic participant, so I feel like I have to reintroduce myself every time I post, haha So after my faith collapse I somehow decided the best thing for me for the time being was to NOM it up and be an active nonbeliever. I tried to minimize the presenc...
by sparky
Fri Aug 27, 2021 7:09 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU
Replies: 68
Views: 11712

Re: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU

But we do all look forward to the day when we can “beat our swords into plowshares, and [our] spears into pruning hooks,” and at least on this subject, “learn war [no] more.” I sincerely wonder what he's getting at here. What does he think it will take for the culture war on this issue to be over a...
by sparky
Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:13 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Get used to disappointment...
Replies: 9
Views: 2409

Re: Get used to disappointment...

This looks very much like an attempt to capitalize on the mindfulness bandwagon. The design and overall vibe feel very much like the Headspace or Calm apps or something. I just did a quick look through the different "paths", interesting that there seems to be nothing at all unique to Mormonism. Ther...