Search found 44 matches

by Perfigliano
Fri Jun 08, 2018 7:44 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Faith Crisis and Depression
Replies: 15
Views: 1055

Re: Faith Crisis and Depression

For me, while the faith crisis itself was stressful and depressing, with each step away from the church, my depression diminished. Turns out the church was a major source stress, especially during my 6 months of questioning.
by Perfigliano
Wed May 30, 2018 10:49 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Everything Happens for a Reason
Replies: 21
Views: 1034

Re: Everything Happens for a Reason

Even as a TBM, I hated that phrase. It was riddled with so much magical thinking that I could never take it seriously. I could take one quick look at the world and say, "No. Not everything happens for a reason. Not unless that reason is 'this is just the natural consequence of all that has happened ...
by Perfigliano
Sat May 12, 2018 5:01 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Looks like I'm a project now.
Replies: 4
Views: 378

Looks like I'm a project now.

Just got invitations to an activity tonight from one of the EQ presidency and a time/location from the missionaries. I turned down the invitation. I'm preparing my love bomb shelter. I know the love bombing is coming soon. The casserole patrol is on its way, ready to bribe me into coming back. It's ...
by Perfigliano
Tue May 08, 2018 7:22 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: There's no good time to make a break
Replies: 33
Views: 1426

Re: There's no good time to make a break

Actually, there is, but that time is when you're single and have no friends. The rest of the time you have to make the opportunity because they don't usually appear magically. Even in my current situation, there are other events that go on- weddings, baptisms, mission calls, weddings, farewells, hom...
by Perfigliano
Sat May 05, 2018 8:06 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Are TBMs Actually Offended By True Doctrine?
Replies: 9
Views: 603

Re: Are TBMs Actually Offended By True Doctrine?

I think it's because the doctrine itself is rarely offensive. It's the implications of the doctrine that is offensive. With polygamy: okay, so a man can marry multiple women... That's okay, I guess... But the practice was done in secret and thus the implications are that it tends to be abusive and h...
by Perfigliano
Fri May 04, 2018 8:41 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Difference between a NOM and an Exmo
Replies: 14
Views: 670

Re: Difference between a NOM and an Exmo

This is how I understand it: NOMs either don't believe or are very nuanced in their belief, but continue to engage with the church for various reasons, usually for their spouses. NOMs typically try to focus on the good in the church, while not ignoring the bad. Exmos are out completely. Sometimes, t...
by Perfigliano
Thu May 03, 2018 9:56 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?
Replies: 10
Views: 646

Re: Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?

IT_Veteran wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 8:53 pm
Perfigliano wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 7:44 pm
Well considering that I'm single, that's a non-issue.
Sorry for the assumption, I have trouble keeping people’s circumstances here sometimes.
It's all good. It's not the first time someone assumed I was married.
by Perfigliano
Thu May 03, 2018 7:44 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?
Replies: 10
Views: 646

Re: Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?

Well considering that I'm single, that's a non-issue.
by Perfigliano
Thu May 03, 2018 5:01 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?
Replies: 10
Views: 646

Re: Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?

Tracting in general is a bad idea. It's ineffective and damages the church's reputation. So what if a small percentage of success comes from it? It does more harm than good. I texted them and canceled. The response was "No worries! How are you doing with everything? We haven't seen you in a little b...
by Perfigliano
Wed May 02, 2018 8:27 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?
Replies: 10
Views: 646

Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?

I think I signed up for next week for some reason. I probably felt obligated or thought I would last longer. Frankly, I don't want to interact with the church right now. I want to cancel early so that someone else can feed them. I know I would have wanted that in their position. But it would be so m...
by Perfigliano
Wed May 02, 2018 6:22 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: My first experiences with coffee
Replies: 38
Views: 1648

Re: My first experiences with coffee

Similar discussions went on between church members about caffeinated beverages before Elder Uchtdorf gave it the official thumbs-up in a conference talk. The main difference was that nobody could find any health benefits for Coke, but they drank/drink it by the case anyway. The interesting thing ab...
by Perfigliano
Mon Apr 30, 2018 11:44 pm
Forum: Staying Faithful
Topic: Supporting a Beneficial Mythology
Replies: 15
Views: 1613

Re: Supporting a Beneficial Mythology

I think it's useful to be acquainted with all sorts of mythology for the sake of being cultured. I'll probably tell my kids the major Bible stories, but I'll teach them just like any other mythology... when the stories are age appropriate. Abraham nearly murdering Isaac and God committing genocide f...
by Perfigliano
Mon Apr 30, 2018 7:02 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: My first experiences with coffee
Replies: 38
Views: 1648

Re: My first experiences with coffee

Hmm... I wonder where that sweet tooth comes from...

Maybe it's from the WoW, the trendy health advice passed as a revelation. The only thing it is definitively right about is tobacco. Maybe not the "sick cattle" part though.
by Perfigliano
Mon Apr 30, 2018 6:35 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: My first experiences with coffee
Replies: 38
Views: 1648

My first experiences with coffee

My work has a free coffee machine. I tried a latte today. HOLY CRAP that stuff is bitter. I was expecting bitter, but not that bitter. I was expecting to at least be able to taste something interesting. I had a little bit of a Java Monster later. That was actually pretty tasty. It reminded me of cof...
by Perfigliano
Sun Apr 29, 2018 11:46 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Reading r/exmormon during stake conference
Replies: 5
Views: 458

Re: Reading r/exmormon during stake conference

I have a TBM friend who hates that hymn because it comes off as prophet worship. It has made me feel sick since my FC.
by Perfigliano
Thu Apr 26, 2018 10:01 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Consistently Confused
Replies: 23
Views: 1424

Re: Consistently Confused

Welcome to the forum. I'm new too. 3 ~ I recently came out to my husband (after 18 years of marriage) that I am bisexual. Now having that at the surface and no longer trying to push it into the dark recesses of my mind has forced me to deal with experiences growing up in a very anti-LGBT community a...
by Perfigliano
Wed Apr 25, 2018 10:58 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: It's surprising how liberating it has been to let go of belief.
Replies: 5
Views: 428

It's surprising how liberating it has been to let go of belief.

From what I understand, it's pretty natural to want to cling to one's belief. I spent 7 months or so wrestling with my belief and trying to cling to it in some sort of nuanced way. The mental gymnastics got pretty intense. When I finally accepted that I no longer believed, the process of letting go ...
by Perfigliano
Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:50 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Poll: Mormon identity and its effect on emotional health
Replies: 17
Views: 721

Re: Poll: Mormon identity and its effect on emotional health

I'm on my way out at this point and I have nobody but me to answer to. So I don't really think of myself as Mormon. It's so fresh that I really don't know if I should be happy or sad about it. I'm not really losing much community, but it's a bummer that something that once made me so happy now does ...
by Perfigliano
Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:19 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: I've decided I'm not going to church anymore as of today... Now what?
Replies: 14
Views: 625

Re: I've decided I'm not going to church anymore as of today... Now what?

The last 2 weeks, I went on walks around a city park instead of going to church. It's relaxing.

I'm still insecure in my unbelief. I'm sure that will pass eventually.
by Perfigliano
Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:54 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Shouldn't have, but I outed myself
Replies: 9
Views: 541

Re: Shouldn't have, but I outed myself

It's part of why I hate con artist evangelical "Mormon baiters" even to this day, because their selfish greed obscures the truth about the church as much as the church itself. This is kind of mind blowing to think about, that when the evangelicals create outlandish publications it creates backfire ...