Search found 20 matches

by aoirselvar
Mon Apr 01, 2019 4:52 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Baptized DS
Replies: 6
Views: 374

Re: Baptized DS

I had baptized a couple of my kids after I stopped believing but once I told my DW she asked me to not do priesthood ordinances if I didn’t believe in them. It was one of our compromises. So my son that is turning 8 will be baptized by my FIL. Which is fine , but I’m not completely out as a non-beli...
by aoirselvar
Mon Feb 04, 2019 7:45 am
Forum: Support
Topic: The Covenant Hand?
Replies: 18
Views: 842

Re: The Covenant Hand?

These youth are dealing with some serious shit and a representative of God has a chance to share something that could profoundly change their life. And... wait what?!?


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by aoirselvar
Thu Dec 27, 2018 8:16 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Do I tell DH I've tried alcohol?
Replies: 20
Views: 1263

Re: Do I tell DH I've tried alcohol?

I sat my wife down and we had a frank talk. I told her that I would continue to do things that made sense and that science backed up (smoking, hard core drugs, over all health) but that coffee and tea wasn’t really that much of a problem. And alcohol in moderation and marijuana (but only if it’s leg...
by aoirselvar
Fri Dec 07, 2018 6:50 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: A tithing victory?
Replies: 9
Views: 725

Re: A tithing victory?

That’s progress! My wife and I have a tithing compromise. I have always told her my money is her money. She doesn’t work because some of our kids are so young, her choice. So, when I told her I don’t want to pay tithing anymore she said something like “oh, so it really is just your money”. She had m...
by aoirselvar
Mon Dec 03, 2018 6:19 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Tithing Settlement Invitation
Replies: 5
Views: 552

Re: Tithing Settlement Invitation

My DW went without me, with all the kids. I had already told a bishopric member my situation, including a request to not give me callings where I would have to lie and no church talks. Also, no tithing settlement.


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by aoirselvar
Mon Dec 03, 2018 7:34 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Nelson's Christmas devotional talk was disgusting
Replies: 13
Views: 1266

Re: Nelson's Christmas devotional talk was disgusting

I was thinking about how convenient it is that there are still miracles when everything works out but all other times god just wanted to bring that person home for after death missionary work. It’s a win win evidence system for the church


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by aoirselvar
Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:50 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Monthly EQ updates
Replies: 12
Views: 1055

Re: Monthly EQ updates

Wow you have an overzealous elders quorum president. I’m still going to elders quorum but I can’t stand the lessons.


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by aoirselvar
Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:47 pm
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: Help for TBM-lite spouse?
Replies: 14
Views: 1737

Re: Help for TBM-lite spouse?

You’re in the right place. Many of us are in varying levels of what you are saying. Like a ton of us consider ourselves NOM because of our TBM spouses. I still go to church with my TBM wife to help with the kids and because church is a big deal in her life. We are in the process of redefining our re...
by aoirselvar
Mon Nov 26, 2018 6:55 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Oh Boy, I Get to GO BACK!!
Replies: 5
Views: 607

Re: Oh Boy, I Get to GO BACK!!

I just stopped taking sacrament, I figure I don’t believe it anyway, and I frankly don’t care what people think. Technically I drink coffee and alcohol so from the TBM’s perspective I’m making the right call, but for me it’s more a form of rebellion, the same reason I stopped wearing garments and su...
by aoirselvar
Sat Nov 24, 2018 8:46 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: RFM Interviews Bill Reel
Replies: 6
Views: 727

Re: RFM Interviews Bill Reel

I just listened to it, first time listener actually. I’ll come back for more. Bill’s story really opened my eyes in regards to how the GAs are there to protect themselves, nothing else.


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by aoirselvar
Sat Nov 24, 2018 8:41 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Oh Boy, I Get to GO BACK!!
Replies: 5
Views: 607

Re: Oh Boy, I Get to GO BACK!!

Yes, hooray for cell phones. If your family doesn’t shame you for using them, they make the experience so much better. It’s how I survive EQ.


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by aoirselvar
Thu Nov 22, 2018 9:44 am
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: DW wants to see LDS Family Services - Feel like I'm at a breaking point
Replies: 22
Views: 1784

Re: DW wants to see LDS Family Services - Feel like I'm at a breaking point

I just have to say thank you guys for this thread. I’m going through a lot of what you guys have or are going through. My wife and I are in a pretty good place, but I am kind of in an angry stage as well. I’ve just mostly kept it to myself since I figure it’s not going to do any good airing it out l...
by aoirselvar
Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:58 am
Forum: Mixed Faith Relationships
Topic: Spouseman reading CES letter
Replies: 12
Views: 1760

Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

My wife isn’t even ready for the CES letter or the letter to my wife, but I don’t know if she realizes that she’s a little just a little NOM in that she’s sees that there are some pretty shitty bishops out there. A couple of things like that are starting, but I get the feeling this is going to take ...
by aoirselvar
Sat Nov 10, 2018 2:35 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Primary Program
Replies: 8
Views: 718

Re: Primary Program

My wife asked me to practice the kids parts while she was out and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The indoctrination and brainwashing kills me. How the church teaches kids in general drives me crazy.


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by aoirselvar
Sat Nov 10, 2018 10:45 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Mormon Channel: How to Cope When a Loved One Changes Beliefs
Replies: 19
Views: 1284

Re: Mormon Channel: How to Cope When a Loved One Changes Beliefs

I just watched that video and I can see it helping my DW but at the same time it pisses me off. I see the church still has to stick with the narrative, never mind that leaving the church is devastating, its not just giving up or wanting to sin. I still think I’ll have my wife watch it because she’s ...
by aoirselvar
Sat Nov 10, 2018 10:33 am
Forum: Support
Topic: What's the shelf life of a NOM?
Replies: 18
Views: 1226

Re: What's the shelf life of a NOM?

Well, I don’t think DH is going to join me, and like wonderment, I kind of hang around to help others and because I like the discussions. Still paying tithing, well, my husband pays for both of us, so if I go by that I am stuck here for life. And lets’s see, number of testimony issues, oh gosh, if ...
by aoirselvar
Sat Nov 10, 2018 6:45 am
Forum: Support
Topic: What's the shelf life of a NOM?
Replies: 18
Views: 1226

Re: What's the shelf life of a NOM?

8 years! Although I’m at about 4 and I don’t see an end for another 5ish. But I don’t see DH catching up. Happy for you though! Yeah, I don’t see my DW catching up anytime soon either. We had a chat about it last night. She has let me know if I get too anti- or angry then this marriage thing isn’t ...
by aoirselvar
Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:37 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: What's the shelf life of a NOM?
Replies: 18
Views: 1226

Re: What's the shelf life of a NOM?

Why do some people process quickly and move on while others seem to stay stuck in limbo forever? * Have friends and family who are not going to come out. This is me for sure. It’s challenging not to roll my eyes a ton during fast and testimony meetings. But I know that to the most part the people a...
by aoirselvar
Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:45 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: What's the shelf life of a NOM?
Replies: 18
Views: 1226

Re: What's the shelf life of a NOM?

Why do some people process quickly and move on while others seem to stay stuck in limbo forever? Oh man, I’ve been in the process basically my whole life. For me, I’m still physically in, but mentally out. So, I guess I’m still in the process. I think the fear of rejection has made me drag my feet....
by aoirselvar
Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:42 am
Forum: Support
Topic: It gets better?
Replies: 20
Views: 1425

Re: It gets better?

I’m somewhat new to this journey. I only came out to my wife a few months ago, and things have been going pretty well so far. This has given me a lot to think about.

I’m glad to see that I’m not alone in the journey with a TBM spouse.


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