NOM

As always, thank you for listening to my whining and sharing your kind words of support and commiseration. It means the world to me. TestimonyLost.... Most of us can relate. A faith transition is never easy when loved ones are involved. While there are groups like this where you can seek help, often...

I feel like all my posts on here are so damn whiny. But you folks are all I've got, so here I am. I'm having a rough day. After another tense discussion with my wife last night, I just can't parse the signals. In the past month she's said all of the following (paraphrased, of course, and roughly in ...

Welcome! This is a safe place with good people. We have a pretty dim view of the church at times, but I haven't found a better place for support if you're struggling to deal with the LDS church in one way or another.

Having had yet another fight with my wife last night, I hear ya Sparky. My wife and I are so far apart on how our life would be with me as an open nonbeliever that I made the decision last night to just keep faking it for as long as I can. I don't know when my own dam will break (some days it feels ...

I used to work as a skiptracer for a collection agency so I agree with SG that it's very possible your ex-BIL didn't give your phone number to the creditor. If he's no longer using the number he did give them, they'd go digging and your number would pop up as a possible connection to him. Anyway, yo...

I'm happily surprised how diverse we are. I would have guessed that it skewed much younger.

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond. Your insights and advice are appreciated. I'm far from sure what to do but, as always, you've given me a lot to think over.

Thanks for the thoughts everyone. Not sure I am the best source of advice. Probably a non-LDS marriage counselor would be less biased. But just my 2¢: I used to be like your wife- strict fundamentalism. I pushed my DH to be an upstanding priesthood holder so he could advance in the church- as a stat...

In the continuing saga with my wife, we’ve hit an impasse on some seemingly small issues: cola, coffee, alcohol, R-rated movies, M-rated TV shows, and M-rated video games. She has declared all of them as non-negotiable deal breaker issues. But I’m also having a lot of trouble backing down on any of ...

I've been getting variations of these from my wife lately:

"I wish you'd focus on the positive."

"Who cares about what Joseph may or may not have done. That was so long ago! It doesn't even matter to our faith today."

"I know deep down that you believe. This too shall pass."

As a dude who claims to hold feminist ideals but who does stuff like posting that thread a few weeks ago about not being able to perform my kid's ordinances without even thinking about the female side of the equation when I posted, well, I feel like I'm still part of the problem. Even if I do recoil...

I think I'm finally at a place where I'd like to meet up with some fellow NOMs (or exmos or postmos or anyone on here who's interested). It gets lonely stuck in my own head. Any groups meeting regularly in the area? If not, anyone else interested in meeting up?

Thanks again everyone for the kind and supportive words. Things have calmed down between us but the communication channels have closed up tight on the faith issue. I don't know when they'll reopen. As I sat in church on Sunday listening to someone tearfully testify of the prophet in the specific con...

Thanks so much for all the support! It means a lot to know I'm not alone and there are others who see hope in my situation. At our last stake conference, I sneaked (Spell check is objecting to "snuck." I guess my grammar needs improvement.) outside and looked at the beautiful day we were missing. I ...

I bought garments this morning. After yet another fight with my wife last night, I realized it’s time to accept that things aren’t going to change without serious, possibly irreparable, damage. So the garment purchase is symbolic to me, a first step in coming to terms with the fact that I’m stuck. I...

This thread hits home today as I had one of the worst fights of my 10+ year marriage last night. In trying to implement some kind of change post-faith transition, I suggested caffeinated sodas and R-rated movies as small things to start with. She exploded. She was angrier than I’ve ever seen her. I ...

I edited the OP to make it clear that my children would still be baptized if I left the church, it would just be by someone other than me. It seemed like that might have been unclear. Thanks for the responses so far. Good stuff to think on. I'll admit in writing my post, I didn't even think of the f...

I need some NOM therapy. Unexpectedly, my wife and I have continued the back and forth discussion on my faith transition. She still doesn’t get it at all but the fact that the dialogue continues gives me hope that maybe one day she can accept me as a nonbeliever. I’ve got a major stumbling block lef...

Member of record. Outwardly active and faithful in every way. Inwardly a heathen apostate.

I was an avid reader as a kid and I devoured The Work and the Glory at one point. So I knew about the sanitized version at least. You know, the version without the sordid details and Joseph's part in it portrayed as a very reluctant but ultimately obedient son of God.