NOM

[putting on my counseling hat] your situation may be different, but what the marriage experts recommend is to talk it over with your spouse rather than do something behind their back. The conversation might go something like, “what would you think if I tried an alcoholic drink when we go out to din...

Thought? Suggestions? You could always introduce your wife to Carefully Worded Denials™. I mean, if that sort of lying is OK for Joseph Smith, and you follow Joe's example, everything will be fine, eh? DISCLAIMER: The above sarcastic sentence is NOT good relationship advice. In fact it is REALLY BA...

Recently met up with an exmo friend and he suggested reading Lying by Sam Harris. He made some interesting points like it's best to avoid lying and I suppose cheating (adultery) to preserve your marriage and the marriage of the other person involved. It's sort of like following the golden rule when ...

Being a victim is real. Being hurt is real. No question. And a lot happened to make people not pay attention to the real stuff because of distractions. I've been listening to the Mormon Stories podcast on Joseph Smith and human/sex trafficking. There were probably a lot of victims in that and also ...

I don’t think most women leave based on evidence or doctrinal reasons. Or even historical reasons. However, emotional pain is just as relevant as any of those. What causes emotional pain within the church? Patriarchy!! Point out to your wife this overlooked observation. If all of the WOMEN were to ...

I like this post, liked reading all of your posts as well. One of these days the church will wake up, realize that coffee's not like snorting coke off a Las Vegas whore's hind end (liked that one) and is harmless. As one who's pulled a cork or two over the years, not to access, and drank plenty of ...

You've mentioned morality shifting, and it should when your foundational beliefs shift. But ideally you will be getting more moral, or at least you will be more authentically moral. Morality in the church is following the rules given by the church. That's a very shallow version of morality, and it ...

- Started getting dw and the kids out into nature more, trying to use some weekends to steal them away from church for more fulfilling activities - About a year later dw and her kids found their own way out, happy wife happy life! In summary, my method was to live my life with no more devils or ang...

I know of many good people, including me. If you want to show your wife that there are good people who have left the church, show her yourself. That's the most important person that she and your children will see every day. Don't lie about stuff. If you are embarrassed about drinking coffee, hold o...

Members of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" make up 0.2126% of the human population. How can anyone think that only 0.2126% of the human population are "good people"? So true wtfluff. Most charity is done through organizations such as Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies, Doctors W...

When people leave, it naturally opens up other behavioral options they may have not previously considered. Most people, anyway. Very very few leave so they can participate in the other behavioral options without being encumbered with guilt or whatever, but the vast majority who leave do so through ...

And therein lies the crux of this NOM dilemma. If faking it to making it works, no harm done. If faking it to making it sucks the life out of you there is harm. I agree, but I do have a hard time faking it sometimes. It's like how long do we wait until we tell our kids we don't believe in Santa Cla...

I mean, really. Mormons can't tolerate a sinner who drinks a cup of tea, regardless of any amount of good he does, but they don't bat an eye when their own leaders get caught committing large scale SEC and IRS fraud. Their concept of morality has been completely turned upside down. Sorry, Stuck, I'...

Don't hinge a conflict on a damn beverage that doesn't stay hot. We had a talk and she wants me to stop drinking coffee so I can be "worthy" to baptize my son in about a year. I have agreed to do so and I think that has helped our relationship so far. However, I don't really like the other caffeine...

Congrats! Way to stand your ground. Mixed faith marriages are difficult right?! Anyway, it takes a certain amount of give and take to make it work. Like for myself, I just sort of agreed that I would stop drinking coffee so that I might be able to be "worthy" to baptize my son in a year. But I don't...

Sounds like the "Village" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Village_(2004_film)

Thanks everyone for the great responses! Being in a mixed faith marriage for me is like "Marriage on a tightrope". I should probably listen to that podcast more. Anyway, it can be very stressful and frustrating sometimes. Yes I should re-assure her that I am not going to drink alcohol (she is concer...

Are you saying that coffee, alcohol in moderation and "bad" movies lead open marriages? I'm not sure I follow... Or are we just wallowing in a slippery slope fallacy? Sorry, I guess I'm saying that it seems that once someone loses their religion that there is a shift as to what is right or wrong fo...

... but there probably is a shift in morality. Like drinking coffee or drinking alcohol reponsibly and being less strict about movie ratings. ... There is absolutely nothing "immoral" about the things mentioned in the above sentence/quote. (Yes I know that logic (or simple math) won't work when tal...

Do you guys have any examples of families who've remained intact and led great lives after the church? Yes. Many. Though, greatness is subjective and the dual axes matrix of stayed/left and intact/expired has greatness in every quadrant. I will say this, coffee is awesome but it damn sure ain't wor...