NOM

I’ll share what I’ve done so far with my 5 kids, 3 of which are now adults. Two have left the nest, and a third will be getting married in February. For years I would send signals to my kids that I know helped them see I wasn’t completely orthodox; openly supporting my gay brother being one example....

It takes two people to make a marriage work. It sounds like your wife has thrown up a wall and refuses to take it down. The only thing left to decide is if you want to live like this or not. That's exactly what my therapist said after explaining my situation. The way I see it is not just about whet...

Emily Dickinson had several poems addressing her struggles with the Christian religion she was raised in. To lose One's faith — surpass The loss of an Estate — Because Estates can be Replenished — faith cannot — Inherited with Life — Belief — but once — can be — Annihilate a single clause — And Bein...

Well, my wife finally told me she wants to get a divorce today. I guess it is probably for the best. I don't think it has much to do with the church, but that may have been what pushed things over the tipping point. Things have been dead in our marriage for a long time. I agree that there is not mu...

https://medium.com/@bijalashah/why-poetry-is-one-of-the-most-powerful-forms-of-therapy-f3553cb909b4#:~:text=The%20best%20poetry%20is%20written,enables%20us%20to%20move%20forward.&text=The%20use%20of%20poetry%20continues,a%20recognised%20form%20of%20therapy. The best poetry is written when we are tru...

I think overall they are changing. I've heard some similar ones that focus on Christ, not the church. It's what I did during my transition further away from orthodox Mormonism.

Bring Me The Horizon - Obey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AolstL1_MhE Another day another post-traumatic order (Brainwashed and feeling fine) I bit off more than I could chew when I looked closer So I stabbed a fork in my eye think I’m losing my fucking mind Don’t know where to turn, now I’m blind...

Ok, if you were a client in individual counseling, I would tell you to imagine that respect, trust, and support all have their languages too. What could she *do* that would show those things? Figure this out and discuss it with her. Second it sounds like you are an intellectual mismatch too. You sa...

I’ve been contemplating divorce more and more, and she knows this. I feel as though the only things keeping me from doing it are the fear of hurting her and the kids…and the fear I have of being alone and starting over. I attach myself to other people’s feelings and feel hurt and pain at just those...

For the wife who says she needs physical affection, that is her “love language”. There are a couple of different books out and the authors list the different love languages they are aware of, but after reading two books, I came up with one that neither book talked about. Most people have a primary ...

Blindlove - I Wanna Be Okay https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhL-1FCWh0Q I'm scared to go out today I'm anchored in doubt Been pacing a line from the sink to the couch See life through a windowpane And it's never easy to hear your name And right now I'm needing to make a new change I know I'll never ...

It is so difficult to make the decision to divorce. I left my husband of 30 years 2 years ago. Very similar to your situation, we just didn't have enough points of connection, including the church, and all of the other unresolved issues 30 years of marriage can bring. I understand the pain that com...

Thanks RR!

I'll add a bit more on the financial preparations that I thought about. Start separating your banking accounts and credit cards now. Get separate checking and savings, close joint accounts.

She’s had a simmering anger for years now, blaming me for my change in beliefs. Her anger boils up when conversations go to that subject, creating a wall that blocks communication. When I needed her most, opening up to her about suicidal thoughts a few years ago, her response was that of telling me...

It is so difficult to make the decision to divorce. I left my husband of 30 years 2 years ago. Very similar to your situation, we just didn't have enough points of connection, including the church, and all of the other unresolved issues 30 years of marriage can bring. I understand the pain that com...

Well, my wife finally told me she wants to get a divorce today. I guess it is probably for the best. I don't think it has much to do with the church, but that may have been what pushed things over the tipping point. Things have been dead in our marriage for a long time. I agree that there is not mu...

It has been too long since I posted on here. So much has happened. This summer I reached a state of complete mental and emotional exhaustion. So many years of trying to find ways to connect with my TBM wife…and now I see that it’s because we’re so different that those connections can’t be made. At f...

Just an update. Things have settled down some, we've had more calm discussions and we're trying.

The goal of counseling is not to force anyone to change, but to facilitate understanding and communication between both people. If your wife will not attend counseling, then attend by yourself. With a good counselor, you will be amazed at how much perspective and enlightenment you can gain about yo...

Yes, I will continue to see if she will go to counseling, and if not at least me going alone.