Search found 287 matches

by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Aug 27, 2021 2:55 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU
Replies: 68
Views: 21529

Re: Jeffrey Holland is a terrible human being so it's fitting he gave this talk at BYU

My nephew's response to Holland's talk was to come out on Facebook. Thing is, he's recently married -- to a woman -- and she also made a long post. They both talked about their faith in the gospel and the priesthood and their support of the brethren . . . you can all fill in the rest, I'm sure. I've...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Wed Jul 21, 2021 7:15 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Temple Garments discussed in the New York Times
Replies: 6
Views: 2395

Temple Garments discussed in the New York Times

The headline: Among Mormon Women, Frank Talk About Sacred Underclothes Frustrated by itchy, constrictive church-designed garments, they are asking for better fit, more options and “buttery soft fabric.” https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/21/us/mormon-women-underclothes.html?action=click&algo=bandit-all...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:26 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 3098

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

The way the church pushes “goal setting” by demanding totally unrealistic goals, them shaming and berating anyone not reaching those impossible goals is abuse. So, treat yourself like someone who lived in an abusive situation, because you are. You are being triggered. When you cannot avoid the trig...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:21 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 3098

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

Fifi, I too struggle with setting goals. I have to do something similar for work for myself and my department. I’ve pulled in my staff and we’ve had a few brainstorming sessions to root out reasonable goals. I always start with the mundane stuff that has to be done, that everyone already does, etc....
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:15 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 3098

Re: Unexpected Mormon trauma

I was a new missionary and talked my companion into going along with our zone with some completely impossible goals for the upcoming month. After the month was up, we got a visit from the MP who berated us for not meeting the goal or even coming close. It was miserable. My heart hurts for the ideal...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Jun 11, 2021 7:58 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Unexpected Mormon trauma
Replies: 10
Views: 3098

Unexpected Mormon trauma

Red Ryder's post on Ordinary Mormon Trauma really resonated with me and I'll be thinking about it for a good long while. I started to reply with another example of my own Mormon trauma, but I was afraid it was too far off-topic so I started this thread. It's the end of our university's school year a...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Apr 27, 2021 5:56 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Did Natasha Helfer-Parker get Exed?
Replies: 82
Views: 24120

Re: Did Natasha Helfer get Exed?

Jody England Hansen recounts her experience as one of Helfer's witnesses: https://www.the-exponent.com/here-is-my-witness/ It's unreal how threatened these men with all their priesthood power were by a group of women in Sunday dress. I am finding myself more angered by this episode than I have been ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Apr 16, 2021 11:40 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Did Natasha Helfer-Parker get Exed?
Replies: 82
Views: 24120

Re: Did Netasha Helfer-Parker get Exed?

Edit to add: Given what Hawkins has said here, that he had a prepared statement, I'm starting to think this is not just a stupid local leader being stupid. Once again, the church is drawing lines that they don't need to draw. And it will end as badly as the 2015 policy of exclusion debacle, especia...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Mar 12, 2021 8:54 am
Forum: Support
Topic: The Moment of Transition
Replies: 16
Views: 5128

Re: The Moment of Transition

Oh wait a minute, something's untrue about Ayn Rand... So that was kind of a big moment where I just went "I think I've been believing bullsh*t." And then there's that beautiful, kind of, hole in your soul where you're like, "Ok, so if that's not it, what else is there?" and also a lot of small poi...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Thu Mar 11, 2021 9:26 am
Forum: Support
Topic: mocha latte for Neal
Replies: 31
Views: 11188

Re: mocha latte for Neal

I think someone's cutting onions . . .you all are the best. It's been six years but you know what -- grief doesn't care how long it's been. There are a lot of good times and days are mostly good, but there are still moments where I can barely stand under the weight of it. Two of Neal's siblings are ...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Dec 18, 2020 6:09 am
Forum: Support
Topic: Attending my Daughter's Temple Wedding?
Replies: 36
Views: 10701

Re: Attending my Daughter's Temple Wedding?

I sat out for my son's wedding a couple of years ago and it was hard, although neither of my other grown children were there either so I didn't feel so alone on the outside. When I was moaning to some non LDS coworkers about this, it somehow came up that the temple sealing ceremony wasn't at all lik...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Mon Dec 14, 2020 8:59 am
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: Soundtrack of the NOM
Replies: 138
Views: 79901

Re: Soundtrack of the NOM

moksha wrote:
Sun Dec 13, 2020 6:26 pm
Here is a Mormon Christmas song video that is very touching:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4fvMgN ... gM&index=3
Lovely! Thank you for sharing.
by Fifi de la Vergne
Sat Dec 12, 2020 5:57 am
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Trigger Warning: Surviving Sexual Assault
Replies: 21
Views: 7633

Re: Trigger Warning: Surviving Sexual Assault

I think John was paraphrasing Spencer Kimball's infamous quote in Miracle of Forgiveness: "Also far-reaching is the effect of the loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Nov 27, 2020 12:38 pm
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: podcast about Short Creek and the FLDS
Replies: 12
Views: 4984

Re: podcast about Short Creek and the FLDS

And (after listening to the most recent episode, and after reflecting on some of the things that came out of conference) I have to say that if there is a hell and a god, there must be a special place there reserved for men who lie and manipulate for their own gratification. Yeah, these people are s...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Mon Oct 26, 2020 1:26 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: The Best Two Years?
Replies: 39
Views: 11728

Re: The Best Two Years?

I was in the church barely a year when I went and in my circumstance it was one of the best things I could have done. I desperately needed something from outside myself to impose discipline and structure and it did that in spades. It was fruitless as far as converting anyone else (I was in France) b...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Tue Oct 13, 2020 2:43 pm
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: podcast about Short Creek and the FLDS
Replies: 12
Views: 4984

Re: podcast about Short Creek and the FLDS

New episodes of this podcast drop every Monday - six of the ten total have been released. This week's episode was particularly moving, and I'm putting in another plug for it. I also came across a blurb about it from The New Yorker: PODCASTS Unfinished: Short Creek Illustration by Mike Reddy Ash Sand...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:40 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Ezra Taft Benson and Conspiracies
Replies: 17
Views: 6548

Re: Ezra Taft Benson and Conspiracies

If you don't have 8 hours, or if you want to dip your toes in first, Doug Fabrizio also interviewed the author on a recent episode of Radio West: https://cpa.ds.npr.org/radiowest/audio/2020/10/RWh1100920.mp3 I've only listened to about the first 2 1/2 hours of the Mormon Stories interview, but I'm h...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Fri Oct 09, 2020 12:57 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: The Church killed what NOM was originally intended to be
Replies: 17
Views: 6044

Re: The Church killed what NOM was originally intended to be

I found NOM in 2014 when the proverbial shelf collapsed. I didn't even realize that it was intended as a support for folks who wanted or had to continue to participate; I just found the level of interaction so much deeper and richer and more thoughtful than any of the other places that I visited. Be...
by Fifi de la Vergne
Mon Oct 05, 2020 12:30 pm
Forum: The Coffee Shop
Topic: podcast about Short Creek and the FLDS
Replies: 12
Views: 4984

podcast about Short Creek and the FLDS

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/stitcher/unfinished-podcast/e/77164740 I'd heard about the FLDS from the time I joined the church, but always accepted the breezy assurances I was given that they were a group of fanatics who really had little in common with "real" Mormons. It was either on an episod...