NOM

And sorry to be only getting to this every other day or so. I thought that because I am sitting around so much after surgery, that I would have time. But it takes both time and not being in so much pain that I don’t want to deal with it. As I start trying to walk again, I find I am in more pain tha...

In my lifetime, the boundaries of the individual states have not changed. Though, the relations and terms by which states interact has changed. I get your point, though I am not convinced that "boundaries" is even close to an appropriate metaphor. Asking a child to be the parent has nothing whatsoe...

Can someone please remind me of the church’s stance on ERA from the 1970s and if the stance has changed since then? I haven't researched it and my credit card was declined at the holiday inn but from what I remember the opposition was something along the lines of: 1) Women are already equals, they ...

And sorry to be only getting to this every other day or so. I thought that because I am sitting around so much after surgery, that I would have time. But it takes both time and not being in so much pain that I don’t want to deal with it. As I start trying to walk again, I find I am in more pain than...

I have been thinking about what to tell Angel about not trusting feelings. This is really quite common in the mental health world. The cure for it depends on the reason for it. Some people take it so far they stop having feelings and become kind of like Mr. Spock. They operate as much as possible fr...

Mayan, part of teaching boundaries is teaching people to verbalize or otherwise inform their family, co-worker, neighbor, wife, whatever, about their boundaries. Just like the US needs to inform Mexico to extradite criminals back into the US so they can be prosecuted or any other agreement we want t...

The church would most likely come out against anything that legally required women to be treated equally. They have a habit of opposing rights being given to any group they personally discriminate against. In spite of religious freedom declaring that religions have perfect freedom to discriminate ag...

Mayan, you said that people don’t have physical borders. What do you think your skin is? And just like nations use space around them and over them where they are allowed to shoot down or sink any air plain or ship, and areas where it would cause a war, people have space where others are not allowed ...

Back to the idea of feelings telling us stuff. First point is that like logic, emotions are only as accurate as the information they are based on. So, garbage in, garbage out. The trigger may not be accurately interpreted. Or, you may have some faulty beliefs that lead to faulty feelings. Now, some ...

Both of you are thinking, which is good. There is only benefit in revisiting the past if there is stuff we need to learn, or sort out, or figure out why it is still hurting us. Say, we learned some crap in our abusive childhood. Well, then there is a real advantage in looking at it and figuring out ...

I have also seen TBM member do things that helped. One friend knew a woman was in an abusive marriage. The elder’s quorum told the men not to help her move out f the house as she was going against the bishop’s advice to stay with her temple marriage. He was the only man who showed up to help her ge...

Mayan, you have steps that I was lumping together. Trigger, leads to emotion, leads to controlled or uncontrolled reaction. To try to keep things simpler, I was just looking at the set as a whole. Yes, in writing the whole book, you are correct. But for here, I am trying to cover lots of material in...

I have also seen TBM member do things that helped. One friend knew a woman was in an abusive marriage. The elder’s quorum told the men not to help her move out f the house as she was going against the bishop’s advice to stay with her temple marriage. He was the only man who showed up to help her get...

My internet is supper slow, so that is all for now, but think more about emotions as a sign, that flashes “danger” but tells you zip about what, when, where, why is the danger. How can you know what is the danger with such a shitty road sign?

Great topic. I do think I'm now on the spectrum - comfortably numb - no feelings. I found my past feelings to be completely false, false trust, false beliefs, false security - my feelings didn't protect, were based on lies, so I have no respect for feelings. In Tuchkman team formation stages, the s...

I want to change things up a bit and look at reflective listening in an online situation. How is it different when you are reading instead of listening? Well, you don’t have facial cues, you don’t have body language, and you can’t hear the tone and voice inflections. So it is much harder, especially...

Great topic. I do think I'm now on the spectrum - comfortably numb - no feelings. I found my past feelings to be completely false, false trust, false beliefs, false security - my feelings didn't protect, were based on lies, so I have no respect for feelings. In Tuchkman team formation stages, the s...

So, if her feeling is pissed, then you look further at what event triggered pissed. You can go several directions with pissed. As Mayan’s thing is quotes says, you can look at other secondary emotions. Anger is not a primary emotion. It is secondary to feelings of threat or loss. So, what is the fea...

I like the part about coveting thy neighbor’s ass. Only my current neighbors are all old men and none of them have very good asses, even in tight levies. But I am in a face book group that like to put up pictures of firemen holding puppies, so we can all enjoy the fireman’s puppy as well as his ass,...

I would just like to mention what somebody said on another thread when they mentioned wanting to keep political discussions to the coffee shop as much as possible, so that these forums don’t get taken over with politics. They mentioned how political discussions can become so consuming as well as ma...