Hello from a happy apostate :)

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rosebud
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Joined: Mon May 08, 2017 12:49 pm

Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by rosebud » Tue May 09, 2017 5:52 pm

TBM for 25 years+ RM, Temple married, devoted my entire being in that time to what I thought was the one and only true church on the face of the earth...

My concerns, questions, and doubts all came to a head a little over a month ago when the final piece of the puzzle made me realize/decide/discover the church wasn't true (at least the way it is presented and taught) literally overnight. I think I even said out loud to myself: "Oh my gosh, it's just a church like any other out there in the world."

Mulled on it for 2 weeks. Came out to my husband who was immensely supportive and wants to make a mixed faith marriage work. He said he can't blame me for any of my reasons and understands why they would cause me to want to leave. He has been blind-sided though so we will have me fade a little from attendance, and wait a few months to talk to the kids as we work out how we want to handle things going forward.

I have never felt so much freedom, peace, and excitement over what my life can now become. Never realized how many of my desires for myself and even my kids and family had been suppressed for what I thought I was supposed to be doing. Happy to have a place(even if only on the internet) to feel some comraderie, as it may be all I have for awhile as I transition my life.

So hello! :)

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MoPag
Posts: 340
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:05 pm

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by MoPag » Tue May 09, 2017 7:50 pm

Welcome to the ward family!

I remember being so relieved and happy when I figured out that the church wasn't true because that meant that God didn't want me to be a 2nd class citizen. I wasn't "less than" because I'm female.

It sounds like you are in a happy place right now. And that is awesome that your DH is being supportive. Now you get to begin the journey of figuring out what you believe. NOM is a great resource for faith transitions. We can help with the not so good times too.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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MalcolmVillager
Posts: 333
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:01 pm

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by MalcolmVillager » Tue May 09, 2017 8:10 pm

Welcome to the board. Sounds like a quick and recent change of events. You are lucky hour DH replied the way he did. Not all do that immediately, or at all for that matter. This will be quite a ride. With this board and a supporting spouse it is all better than without either or both.

Family, friends, etc... Will take some work. Be kind and gentle to yourself and to others.

We look forward to your contribution.

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No Tof
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:54 am

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by No Tof » Wed May 10, 2017 6:50 am

Welcome to NOM.

I trust you'll find lots of support here.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.
Rumi

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AllieOop
Posts: 261
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:39 am
Location: Where the sand meets the Sea...

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by AllieOop » Wed May 10, 2017 7:46 am

rosebud wrote:
Tue May 09, 2017 5:52 pm
So hello! :)
Hello! And...welcome :)
"There came a time when the desire to know the truth about the church became stronger than the desire to know the church was true."

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RubinHighlander
Posts: 256
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:20 am

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by RubinHighlander » Wed May 10, 2017 7:50 am

Congrats!
Welcome!

Hope you find support and solace here in your journey to freedom!
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

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Corsair
Posts: 829
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by Corsair » Wed May 10, 2017 9:16 am

We are glad you found us. Mixed faith marriages are a common state of affairs and I am glad that circumstances sound good for yours.

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Korihor
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:37 am
Location: Taffy Pulling Convention

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by Korihor » Wed May 10, 2017 2:16 pm

Welcome,

I can relate the idea of "snapping" in one night. Crazy how that works. That's awesome your spouse is supportive, that really helps. You'll be fine together and I'll bet you a case of beer sooner or later he'll have his own epiphany.

I look forward to hearing from you, it's great to hear from someone fresh off the boat. I hope this site feels like a good place to you. It's been my sanctuary.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.

rosebud
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon May 08, 2017 12:49 pm

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by rosebud » Tue May 16, 2017 12:18 pm

MoPag wrote:
Tue May 09, 2017 7:50 pm
Welcome to the ward family!

I remember being so relieved and happy when I figured out that the church wasn't true because that meant that God didn't want me to be a 2nd class citizen. I wasn't "less than" because I'm female.

It sounds like you are in a happy place right now. And that is awesome that your DH is being supportive. Now you get to begin the journey of figuring out what you believe. NOM is a great resource for faith transitions. We can help with the not so good times too.
Amen!! I have really struggled with this one. I think especially as women in the church we are getting so many different mixed messages from the church, it can really mess with your mind. I currently stay at home and have always wanted to, but always felt sympathy for the women in my ward who really wanted to work and knew they were better people/mothers by working but couldn't reconcile that with the church.

THEN I had a thought come into my head the other day about looking for a job and felt a little glimmer of interest. The real joy of that moment came from realizing that whatever I decide over the rest of my life for work, mothering, lifestyle will be completely my own choice and not influenced by feelings of guilt (at least not from my religion).

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Fifi de la Vergne
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 8:56 am

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by Fifi de la Vergne » Tue May 16, 2017 1:05 pm

Welcome!

I had a similar experience to yours -- that shelf had been getting heavier and heavier without me ever realizing it, until one day it hit me all at once and I (like you) said out loud, "OMG. It's not true. He made it all up."

It's been a very difficult road, made bearable by the awesome folks on this board. Glad you're here!
The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

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Hagoth
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Hello from a happy apostate :)

Post by Hagoth » Thu May 25, 2017 8:49 pm

Welcome to NOM, Rosebud. Are you willing to share with us what the straw was that broke your camel's back?
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

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