Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

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Meilingkie
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Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Meilingkie » Tue May 14, 2019 10:57 pm

I decided I’d had enough, after 7 years of shoutingmatches and sobbingparties. Going on Mormonstories (705) really made my ex realize I wanted out, needed out. So I took a Church-sabbatical of a year. After that year she called for a divorce. Turned out she’d already had a boyfriend for years.... Anyway, left the house July 28th last year. Resignation confirmed August 4th.

41, 2 adult kids. Living with my parents again. Church definitely fucked my life up.
The Church is the "fount of vicarious shame" that keeps on giving

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Corsair
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Corsair » Wed May 15, 2019 9:46 am

This is probably a good idea, particularly if you have been here a while and newcomers don't know the different voices on this site.

I am the undercover unbeliever in my ward. My wife knows I don't believe and my children largely know. I hold a current temple recommend and my bishop trusts me to work with the young men. He would be scandalized by most of my posts on this forum and on Reddit. I stopped believing about 12 years ago for the usual reasons of "Book of Abraham" and "Joseph's plural marriage practices". The rest of the issues in the CES Letter and Mormon Think quickly followed. I have been unable to find the bottom of the rabbit hole for crazy LDS doctrine and history, partially because the institutional church keeps digging.

My temple recommend is maintained due an ongoing experiment. As far as church goes, I am a raconteur, which is a polite way of saying that I am a duplicitous liar. I go into temple recommend interviews and put on a charming face while I prevaricate through the questions. The only question I am fully honest about is the Law of Chastity since I want to preserve my marriage to my dear, believing wife. My continued church attendance is partly based on not making her a church widow with an apostate husband.

Due to a series of crazy circumstances, I also own and maintain this website. I will also be speaking at the Salt Lake City Sunstone conference in August. Points will be awarded if you can identify me from that bit of information.

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Wed May 15, 2019 11:52 am

I am the youngest of a set of brothers. One time on a backpacking trip we were pontificating about the mysteries of the universe in a mormon way and I let slip the question "have you heard about the papyrus scrolls?" Prior it was a slow buildup of doubts starting from an experience of extreme cogdis on my mission, to later some bad experiences in a bishopric and on the stake high council that finally led me to giving myself permission to look at the actual history and critical commentary. Once in Sunday School I found a particular phrase in Alma that I searched for on google books that netted a myriad of non mormon 19th century christian literature that explained the period context of several BOM peculiar doctrines. That was the end of my BOM testimony for good. I started reading about the other 18th and 19th century restoration/primitivist movements and found just about every parallel doctrinal belief that I used to believe Joseph recieved uniquely.

Fast forward to present day. One of my brothers is resigned, the other totally inactive and I am stuck with a very believing spouse who continues her best efforts to fully indoctrinate our young children. I still attend sacrament meeting weekly with them but am otherwise an open passive conscientious objector.

Last week was the first wedding I did not join the sealing for and soon my next child will be baptized/confirmed by grandpa because my intellectual integrity just won't allow me to be the one to kick the can of indoctrination down the road another generation. I can't stop my wife, but I won't take an active role in it.

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wtfluff
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by wtfluff » Wed May 15, 2019 2:25 pm

Hello, my name is What-The-Fluff? And I'm recovering from more than half a lifetime of activity in TCoJCoLDS. (Formally known as the MORmON church.)

I was born the middle child of goodly, and very indoctrinated parents. I diligently checked off all of the boxes on the MORmON checklist: Church attendance, baptism, fake magic powers given to male MORmONs, tithing, mission, temple marriage, multiplying and replenishing... I was doing my best to work on the "endure to the end" check-box, and, well... It sucked. I was MORmON-ing to the best of my ability, and MORmONism just wasn't able to live up to it's promises. I kept on "enduring" as best I could, telling myself if I just (read the BoM harder, prayed harder, payed harder, obeyed harder) then it would work, but it: Just. Didn't. Work. I wasn't really doubting any of the truth claims, and of course thought that it was my fault that it didn't work, but it still didn't work.

Then one day in late 2011, I was getting some exercise riding my skateboard along the Jordan River Parkway in the far south end of the Salt Lake Valley. There's a church building near the trail that I assumed belonged to a polygamist sect, but never thought much more than that about it. After hitting a dead-end on the trail and turning back that day, I went home and asked Google Maps to show me if there were any newly finished portions of the Jordan River Parkway trail that I hadn't explored. (It's been under construction for a l_o_n_g time...) While browsing the map near where I was riding, I noticed that assumed polygamist building was labeled: AUB. Never having heard of AUB, I of course asked Google, which lead me to finding out that there were hundreds of other polygamist sects that were offshoots of the original MORmON church. Of course my interest was piqued at that point, and more research about polygamy lead to the Lyndon Lamborn excommunication YouTube videos. Lyndon Lamborn's name lead me to MormonThink, and within a few weeks, I was pretty sure that the MORmON church was not what it claimed to be. That "moment of clarity" when I allowed myself to actually think "Maybe it isn't true" was one of the most devastating moments of my life, along with being one of the most enlightening and freeing moments of my life; All at the same time. Shortly after that I also asked Google about message boards for doubting MORmONs, and after reading from many of them, I joined NOM 1.0 because it was a light landing-space, and spent the next few weeks devouring everything I could on NOM, realizing that I wasn't the only one.

After losing my “testimony” of MORmONism, I still thought I could remain and embrace “Christian” values, still thinking it was a “good place to raise a family.” A few months later, I had another “moment of clarity” experience while teaching 12-year-olds about the “Plan of Happiness” and realized that I couldn’t do that any more either. I wriggled my way out of the teaching calling, was given a different, lower-impact, non-teaching-testifying calling until my “ward” was split, at which point I disappeared from the MORmON radar. At some during the low-impact calling, I also stopped attending regularly.

At this point, I still spend way too much time trying to untangle my brain from more than 40 years of MORmON indoctrination. Most of my family is still “in”, so MORmONism won’t leave me alone, and unfortunately, I don’t see myself leaving it alone any time soon; Unless we can come up with a NOM-witness protection program…

So there you have it: I lost my testimony because: Skateboarding.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

Brilliant.

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Red Ryder
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Red Ryder » Wed May 15, 2019 2:42 pm

I opened Pandora’s Box in 2004.

I navigated the rabbit hole and built an impressive google search history on all things Mormon History.

I have an innate ability to see and recognize patterns in data sets, organizations, and human behaviors due to my professional career training.

I was a young father, stressed out from traveling for work too much, and exhausted all the time. One Sunday I realized that church was making me miserable and that my full day of church meetings was contributing to it.

My testimony nearly evaporated fairly quickly but hung around at 10% for a long time. When the Johnson brothers did the Late War analysis I lost the remaining 10%. The BOM wouldn’t pass a high school plagiarism check.

My bank account broke up with the Church.
I choose my underwear most days.
I mow my lawn wearing only one t-shirt.
I still attend for family reasons.
My ward leaves me alone most of the time.
Many of the NOMs here have significantly influenced my thinking and many I call friends IRL.

I suffer from Mormon Internet addiction and can’t seem to pull away from this train wreck.

I’m seeking normalcy but have recently come to the conclusion normal doesn’t exist.

Not when you were raised in a cult.

I have a man crush on Corsair.
I’m jealous of Hagoth’s intellect.
I miss Enough. Stealth too.
I have a list of NOM ladies I would like to date if/when polygamy is reinstated here on earth.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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Random
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Random » Sat May 25, 2019 3:54 pm

I'm a bit different from the typical person here in that
I don't believe Joseph Smith practiced polygamy (for me, the evidence for and against are quite close with the tipping point being against - as the witnesses witnessed long after JS was dead and BY had something to gain by pretending Joseph had a lot of wives),
I believe the Book of Mormon is from God (but that the LDS church, and all factions since JS died aren't getting its message, which is "You guys are f**ked up and not righteous like you think you are")
and I listen to the teachings of a man named Denver Snuffer.

Some of the things that break people's shelves were never a problem for me because, when I was 11, I had an older brother in college who was researching Mormon history. He would come home and tell my mom what he had learned. I guess I was inoculated, though it did make me despise Brigham Young.

The big thing for me was after 9/11. I thought Hinckley would say (in general conference) that that was God's shot across the bow for this country. Instead, he was namby pamby, not brave and outspoken like the prophets in the scriptures (I suppose that's why DS is an allure; he speaks what he speaks and is not afraid of anyone).

The more I learned (and the stupider and more controlling the church got), the less interested I was in being a Mormon believer (meaning a believer in "the One True Church" based in Salt Lake City).

It was the "revelation" denying salvation for children (even baby blessings!) because someone they could not control was sinning in the eyes of the Church that pushed me to resign - and I have never regretted that choice (thought I did regret throwing out all my garments; some were the two kinds of one-piece that you probably can't get anymore. Yeah, I'm weird. I like LDS garments; very nice to wear when I'm cold. The onesies were mostly for novelty; I didn't wear them much).

I've been married twice. The father of my children (first spouse) died while I was married to the second one. No kids with the second one, so when we split the sheets, there was no need to keep in contact with him. Only one sibling is tbm (as far as I know, they still are), but accepts the path I am on. As far as I know, only one extended family member knows I'm not tbm (I don't really keep in touch with the extended family members). All that was to say that I don't have anyone harassing me, never had any real pressure to stay in the Church. When I moved to this area, I didn't attend my ward, though I did attend a ward closer fairly regularly until working on Sundays prevented that (turned out that ward was in a different stake! Go figure. The farthest building from you is probably the one they try to force you to go to). Plus, I resigned through the attorney (just before he started a website), so got no flak from the leaders of that ward. Ever.

Two of my three children have resigned, but none of them consider themselves members. Their father would blame me, I'm sure, but they made their own choices.

My signature tells how I was for decades and decades. I was that firm, proud, haughty believer who thought those who drank coffee, tea, and alcohol were going to go to hell, and that we (I) were better than them. So, my signature is my penance for the people I was an @ssh@le to in my teen years and in my twenties.
[They] which knew me from the beginning . . . would testify, that after the most straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee.
Acts 26:5

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hmb
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by hmb » Fri Jun 21, 2019 4:53 am

My story is pretty dull (common). Grew up in the institution. Was born of "Goodly, righteous" parents. Very TBM upbringing. As an older teen, I was a rebel but eventually went full-on TBM. I was/am married to a never-mo, but a good guy that my family thought would eventually get dunked; still hope since I continue to play pretend. Thought I could be out now, but not to be...yet. I just started with a new ward. They will soon find out that I'm a sacrament meeting only attender and will not take on any callings. Being a non-zealous, no PH in my immediate family, female type, I will not be a big loss nor any kind of project. I'll go maybe twice/month for awhile. I live a good distance from the building, so going is inconvenient. On the plus side, ministering is difficult for all because 'small ward over many many miles' equals tremendous time commitment to do ministering crap and general home visits. It's not like where I came from in a densely populated area; mormons within walking distance. Le sigh. Thank whatever powers that be, for kindle apps and NOM.

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Angel
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Angel » Sat Jun 22, 2019 4:51 pm

Appreciate hearing everyone's stories.

I did not grow up in the church, was raised in a JW offshoot group :D converted to Mormonism in college after what I thought was a spiritual experience - wanting to do the adult thing, go to church, get married, etc. and Mormonism has some strange parallels to JW's (non trinitarian, cultish haha) so it felt close to home for me. Married in temple, very active for around 20 years until... ya... I'm Sam Young story # 823. so... put the guy in jail 2 years ago now... turned in my temple recommend 2 years ago, was released from my calling, all the leaders in our ward are afraid of me... trying to give the kids stability, not take good friends away, my husband is sort of active (no calling) - just some crazy hard things and there are some parts of the church that provide community that they need... so I am the one in the family that gives everyone room to think for and act for themselves, and my husband is the one that gives everyone the excuse to go to church and have the support of that community - but I think the beliefs of everyone are all over the place now... so it is just a community thing etc. I'm trying to hold onto some piece of spirituality, but am going non-denominational - SBNA, spiritual but not affiliated. I see all religious groups as having good and bad in them - enough good to provide community, enough bad to leave room for personal thought and exploration. Some people at church know, others think I am a normal active member ... I have a little ex-mo group in my area who have been incredibly supportive, so I have coffee with them in the mornings, and then go to church ... have learned to ignore a lot of what is said, and am really just trying to find a happy place - cut out the bad, and hold onto what is good. I don't want to be one of those angry people you know? imperfect world, you just have to force yourself to be an optimist, force yourself to find the good, and keep your mind in a good place...

Oh - I am also a professor at a community college - they have been there for me as well and are like a second fam to me. I work with a really diverse low-income, minority serving kind of place - some amazing people all around, both other faculty, admin, and students - that is my happy place. I do a lot of volunteer work, run a food pantry thing, volunteer with educational things - am extremely busy and busy is so good, keeps my mind off things.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

eftwendy
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by eftwendy » Sun Jun 23, 2019 7:59 pm

I was here 12 years ago as I went through my crisis of leaving. Thank you for helping me keep my sanity at that time. I was very angry for 2 years. My husband and I became inactive together but it would hurt our grown daughters more if we turned in our leaving papers so we just ignore the church. I rejoined this group today because I cannot find the list of reasons I left! I made a point of totally putting it out of my mind and I am blessed with a lousy memory! I just don't believe "it is true!" But my 16 year old grandson is talking about going on a mission and I have a feeling I might be a practice subject in the next year or two. Is there a list of John Dillan's (? sorry - forget his last name) reasons they left the church? Biggest surprise in the past 12 years... Every non-member asked why I left. Not a single member has asked why unbidden. One asked when I said no one had ever asked. One said please don't tell me.

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Corsair
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Corsair » Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:14 am

eftwendy wrote:
Sun Jun 23, 2019 7:59 pm
Is there a list of John Dillan's (? sorry - forget his last name) reasons they left the church?
We're glad to have you here. John Dehlin released the Top 5 Myths and Truths About Why Committed Mormons Leave the Church.
eftwendy wrote:
Sun Jun 23, 2019 7:59 pm
Biggest surprise in the past 12 years... Every non-member asked why I left. Not a single member has asked why unbidden. One asked when I said no one had ever asked. One said please don't tell me.
Virtually no one wil talk to you about your concerns within the church. To the credit of a few apologists, I have seen some direct calls for actually listening to someone in a faith transition. But those conversations are still really rare. It needs to be stated in general conference to get any real traction but I doubt that the apostles want to unleash that possibility of cognitive dissonance.

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Hagoth
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Hagoth » Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:57 am

eftwendy wrote:
Sun Jun 23, 2019 7:59 pm
I was here 12 years ago as I went through my crisis of leaving.
Glad you found us again, Eftwendy!
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Hagoth
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Hagoth » Mon Jun 24, 2019 12:04 pm

Early 60's semi-retired returned-to-college type of guy.

Deconstructing the Books of Mormon and Abraham piqued my curiosity about what was really going on in the ancient world. I attend sacrament meeting with my awesome wife once or twice/month. Otherwise pretty much out. Mrs. Hagoth has [/i]her priorities straight and values our relationship way above any kind of devotion to the organization. Two grown kids, both entirely out.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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jfro18
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by jfro18 » Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:55 am

I started dating a Mormon in high school and took the discussions with her and her parents. I joined in college once I was not living with my parents (who were OK with it but I was trying to be sensitive to everyone).

We got married soon after... I stopped going to church about a decade after I started over polygamy mostly (some of the ban on blacks). Completely ignored Mormonism after until my kid started repeating lines to me about church "I can't wait to go to the temple" and "You know who can share the Book of Mormon? All of us can!"

Did a Google search at my in-laws house after some comments and the search down the rabbit hole began... been a rough year since at home as my wife has retrenched quite a bit due to my apostasy.

I am a late 30s white dude in the midwest... I've been doing a small business since around the time I stopped going to church (completely unrelated) and I my normal life is enjoying following sports, politics (kind of), dogs, and music. Definitely am grateful I do not live in a heavily populated Mormon area... and amazingly I've met up with 4 people now who have recently left the church in just one local ward.

Hope that keeps it short enough. :)

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Culper Jr.
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Culper Jr. » Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:56 pm

I grew up in the church, RM, married in the temple, all that. I live on the east coast so blessedly Mormons aren't too numerous here. Started researching polygamy a few years back because it always bothered me and I thought if I got a better understanding of it then I would come to peace with the concept. The more I studied, the worse it got. FAIR Mormon introduced me to a lot of other issues I wasn't aware of and their apologetic answers were pathetic. Then once the EQ had invited the non-member spouse of one of our ward members to the PH Session of conference. As I sat in that meeting and imagined what he was feeling as he heard the prophet speak, I was shocked at the ridiculously inane and self serving messages I was hearing. I was even more shocked when I realized it had always been this way; I had just never seen it until I thought of it in that context. That started a really deep dive into Mormon history and doctrine and the realization that it's just not true.

I still attend to keep peace in my home. I have a recommend also. Tithing sucks but it's cheaper than alimony, which I'm sure she would pay tithing on anyway. I have a coffee habit, but that's the extent of my illicit activities.

Some years ago I was the scoutmaster, and one of the kids was made to attend when he was staying with his dad. He hated scouts and didn't want to be there, so he made my life a living hell. The worst thing I could do was kick him out, which was what he really wanted to happen. It was win-win for him; he could either have a fun time torturing me, or he could get kicked out and didn't have to be there. I learned a lot from that kid. My bishop got the big idea recently to make me the executive secretary as a project to help improve my attitude about the church. So as long as I'm stuck, I try to apply what I learned from that kid and have fun with it. It helps me keep my sanity if nothing else.

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Ghost
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Ghost » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:43 am

Back in the mid 2000s, discovering some interesting new details about Mormon history led me to start questioning. I quickly realized that Mormonism was simply the icing on the problem. I think my real "crisis" came when I realized that I could question the supernatural stories in the Bible and when I started taking the Problem of Evil seriously.

It took me years to admit to myself the extent of my doubt, and I think that most people I know are totally unaware of my heterodoxy. I still hold a calling, though it's one that involves virtually no spirituality. I almost never attend actual meetings, and on the occasion that I do everything seems familiar but also alien to my current way of looking at the world.

Sometimes, I think that I've taken the "Go slow" philosophy too far and have become stuck in a rut, but I've never really felt a desire to make a complete break and I don't know a better way to proceed. I've recently been disappointed to find that I'm somewhat in this boat:
Hagoth wrote:The church has finally started to become boring again, just like it was when I was a believer.
My last few issues of Dialogue magazine remain barely touched.

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crossmyheart
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by crossmyheart » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:37 am

My shelf crashed in 2011 after a relative had her temple sealing to a deceased husband broken so she can be sealed to her 3rd husband. I was a little too close to the situation and her decision really hurt. All at once it came crashing down when I realized it is all made up- the rules are arbitrary. The church leaders can change the rules anytime they want. The Joseph Smith papers were just being released then and I started seeing holes. So I turned to online communities By Common Consent and Feminist Mormon Housewives that led me to NOM. The more I read, the more it confirmed that everything was just made up by Joseph Smith and the lie was perpetuated by Brigham Young. It truly hurts that I cant go back to any kind of spirituality. I am too jaded.

Prior to 2011 I was all-in, served a mission, married in Temple, held every calling with pride, smugly judged others who could not keep up with the rules and pushed my DH to exercise the priesthood and to promote in the ranks so that I could someday rise to the occasion of being a Bishop's wife. Never happened. We went inactive together- turns out he is really happy with being inactive, despite still holding on to most of his belief.

TBM extended family and my DH's faith will keep me in NOM forever.

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Emower
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Emower » Sat Jul 13, 2019 3:33 pm

I was active here last year and have tried to stay away for a while. I am for the most part over much of the emotional roller coaster the faith crisis aftermath. Good thing to because my implosion began in 2015-16. It has taken that long for me to stabilize.

I was BIC, faith in God award, mission to Norway, married in the temple, climbing the social ladder at church, etc. I always had a strong desire to be the smart guy with insightful comments in Sunday school, and tried to think about the gospel from a lot of angles. That was likely my undoing. I began thinking about foreordination/predestination, which led me to think about the nature of life and God. Then I stumbled onto mormon stories. Game over for me.
I spent a lot of time being angry, seeking answers, getting what I thought were answers, finding out different stuff and needing more answers. It was too much at one point. I quit the church and then settled back to deal with the fallout.
My wife attends, though she has not been unaffected by my loss of faith. I have small children, and they also attend. It used to bug me, now I just try to be up front about the things I dont believe in. It seems to work.
It hasn't been easy, but I am certainly more at peace in the last 2 years then I ever have been.

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Guy
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Guy » Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:11 pm

Background: Born and raided Mormon in the MorCor. Became inactive during 20's and early 30's. Married (outside of church) and divorced during that time. Became active again just before meeting 2nd wife, married then sealed in SLC Temple. Late 30's and 40's very active in the church with all the expected callings, tithing, recommend, etc.

There were three things that caused issues with me during my believing years.
First was the ban on Blacks holding the Priesthood. Even though I was quite young at this time, I never understood why this blatant racist policy (not doctrine) was held by the church. Even questioned it to local leaders but was always told the answer would be provided to me in the eternities.

Second was when I received my Patriarchal Blessing at 18. On the day, the Patriarch gave me the blessing. Then realized he had failed to start the recorder and had to give me a second blessing that was completely different than the first. My initial thought was if both blessings were "inspired", then why weren't they at least similar, instead of completely different? I questioned this as well and was given answers ranging from "you were worthy of both blessings" to "you weren't worthy of the first one" to "the answer would be provided to me in the eternities" (my favorite! <heavy sarcasm>).

Third (and this one's the doozie) was when DW and I were preparing to be sealed in the SLC Temple (both in our 40's). We were married in a civil ceremony first, then a year later applied for the sealing. In the meantime our beautiful baby boy was born. When we applied we were told that our son could not be sealed to us because DW had been previously sealed to her ex and our son was consider sealed under that sealing. This crushed me like nothing else in my life - to be told that my son could not be sealed to us because he fell under a sealing DW had with another man. It got worked out in the end and my son was there with us, but it was a hell of a rough time and was an event that proved to be a very heavy load on my shelf!

Fast forward to my faith crises journey, which began in 2008. That was when Prop 8 was on the California ballot. At that time I was still an "all-in" believer in the "one true church", but couldn't understand why the church was pushing so hard for its members (outside of California) to canvas California voters to vote for Prop 8. In my understanding, this ran counter to the church's own doctrine in D&C 134. So I started asking questions.

Immediately I began to put all of my energy into researching the church. Within a week I felt like I knew the answer to my one burning question "is the church really the 'one true church'?" But I continued to research very heavily into church issues for about 6 months. I looked at all the issues very closely and ultimately I concluded that if even part of the teachings were questionable, then all of the teachings had to be questioned!

While I was researching I hadn't heard the mantra "go slow", especially when sharing information with the spouse. I had a voracious appetite for information at that time and I shared all of it with the DW. Like a dimwit, I fully expected the DW to see exactly what I was seeing and understand the information exactly the way I was understanding it. Boy was I wrong. As I shared the info with the DW, she became more and more entrenched in her beliefs. So as expected this period of time was really hard on our marriage. But she is a very loving woman and while she hopes and prays for my return to the fold, she loves and accepts me even as an apostate.

Today I am no longer a believer. Not only do I not believe in the church, but I do not believe in ALL religions, nor a supreme deity! What I do believe in is humanity. Both bad and good exists in each one of us. Not because there is a devil or a god pushing us, but because it is an instinctively part of our human nature!
Happy Dissenter :D

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Corsair
Posts: 2575
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Corsair » Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:33 pm

Guy wrote:
Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:11 pm
Third (and this one's the doozie) was when DW and I were preparing to be sealed in the SLC Temple (both in our 40's). We were married in a civil ceremony first, then a year later applied for the sealing. In the meantime our beautiful baby boy was born. When we applied we were told that our son could not be sealed to us because DW had been previously sealed to her ex and our son was consider sealed under that sealing. This crushed me like nothing else in my life - to be told that my son could not be sealed to us because he fell under a sealing DW had with another man. It got worked out in the end and my son was there with us, but it was a hell of a rough time and was an event that proved to be a very heavy load on my shelf!
Much sympathy, my friend. I know a local couple in my stake who were in the same boat. She was widowed at a young age while pregnant. He was a convert and they got married civilly. But they can't get sealed without Her breaking the first sealing. He cannot be sealed to anyone because his parents are not LDS at all. Plus, their children together are sealed to Husband Number One. They have withdrawn from activity.

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PalmSprings
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:23 am

Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by PalmSprings » Thu Aug 08, 2019 5:22 pm

Born and raised Mormon. I always making decisions based on doing the "right" thing and what my church leaders said would be the "righteous and smart thing to do." Because after all you will be blessed financially and be destitute otherwise...right? Well the exact opposite happened to me and I ended up with nothing, and I mean NOTHING. No family, friends or money to speak of. So I decided to kick the church to the curb and take control of my own life. Everything instantly turned around from that point and I will never look back.

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