Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

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Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Meilingkie » Tue May 14, 2019 10:57 pm

I decided I’d had enough, after 7 years of shoutingmatches and sobbingparties. Going on Mormonstories (705) really made my ex realize I wanted out, needed out. So I took a Church-sabbatical of a year. After that year she called for a divorce. Turned out she’d already had a boyfriend for years.... Anyway, left the house July 28th last year. Resignation confirmed August 4th.

41, 2 adult kids. Living with my parents again. Church definitely fucked my life up.
The Church is the "fount of vicarious shame" that keeps on giving

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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Corsair » Wed May 15, 2019 9:46 am

This is probably a good idea, particularly if you have been here a while and newcomers don't know the different voices on this site.

I am the undercover unbeliever in my ward. My wife knows I don't believe and my children largely know. I hold a current temple recommend and my bishop trusts me to work with the young men. He would be scandalized by most of my posts on this forum and on Reddit. I stopped believing about 12 years ago for the usual reasons of "Book of Abraham" and "Joseph's plural marriage practices". The rest of the issues in the CES Letter and Mormon Think quickly followed. I have been unable to find the bottom of the rabbit hole for crazy LDS doctrine and history, partially because the institutional church keeps digging.

My temple recommend is maintained due an ongoing experiment. As far as church goes, I am a raconteur, which is a polite way of saying that I am a duplicitous liar. I go into temple recommend interviews and put on a charming face while I prevaricate through the questions. The only question I am fully honest about is the Law of Chastity since I want to preserve my marriage to my dear, believing wife. My continued church attendance is partly based on not making her a church widow with an apostate husband.

Due to a series of crazy circumstances, I also own and maintain this website. I will also be speaking at the Salt Lake City Sunstone conference in August. Points will be awarded if you can identify me from that bit of information.

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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Wed May 15, 2019 11:52 am

I am the youngest of a set of brothers. One time on a backpacking trip we were pontificating about the mysteries of the universe in a mormon way and I let slip the question "have you heard about the papyrus scrolls?" Prior it was a slow buildup of doubts starting from an experience of extreme cogdis on my mission, to later some bad experiences in a bishopric and on the stake high council that finally led me to giving myself permission to look at the actual history and critical commentary. Once in Sunday School I found a particular phrase in Alma that I searched for on google books that netted a myriad of non mormon 19th century christian literature that explained the period context of several BOM peculiar doctrines. That was the end of my BOM testimony for good. I started reading about the other 18th and 19th century restoration/primitivist movements and found just about every parallel doctrinal belief that I used to believe Joseph recieved uniquely.

Fast forward to present day. One of my brothers is resigned, the other totally inactive and I am stuck with a very believing spouse who continues her best efforts to fully indoctrinate our young children. I still attend sacrament meeting weekly with them but am otherwise an open passive conscientious objector.

Last week was the first wedding I did not join the sealing for and soon my next child will be baptized/confirmed by grandpa because my intellectual integrity just won't allow me to be the one to kick the can of indoctrination down the road another generation. I can't stop my wife, but I won't take an active role in it.

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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by wtfluff » Wed May 15, 2019 2:25 pm

Hello, my name is What-The-Fluff? And I'm recovering from more than half a lifetime of activity in TCoJCoLDS. (Formally known as the MORmON church.)

I was born the middle child of goodly, and very indoctrinated parents. I diligently checked off all of the boxes on the MORmON checklist: Church attendance, baptism, fake magic powers given to male MORmONs, tithing, mission, temple marriage, multiplying and replenishing... I was doing my best to work on the "endure to the end" check-box, and, well... It sucked. I was MORmON-ing to the best of my ability, and MORmONism just wasn't able to live up to it's promises. I kept on "enduring" as best I could, telling myself if I just (read the BoM harder, prayed harder, payed harder, obeyed harder) then it would work, but it: Just. Didn't. Work. I wasn't really doubting any of the truth claims, and of course thought that it was my fault that it didn't work, but it still didn't work.

Then one day in late 2011, I was getting some exercise riding my skateboard along the Jordan River Parkway in the far south end of the Salt Lake Valley. There's a church building near the trail that I assumed belonged to a polygamist sect, but never thought much more than that about it. After hitting a dead-end on the trail and turning back that day, I went home and asked Google Maps to show me if there were any newly finished portions of the Jordan River Parkway trail that I hadn't explored. (It's been under construction for a l_o_n_g time...) While browsing the map near where I was riding, I noticed that assumed polygamist building was labeled: AUB. Never having heard of AUB, I of course asked Google, which lead me to finding out that there were hundreds of other polygamist sects that were offshoots of the original MORmON church. Of course my interest was piqued at that point, and more research about polygamy lead to the Lyndon Lamborn excommunication YouTube videos. Lyndon Lamborn's name lead me to MormonThink, and within a few weeks, I was pretty sure that the MORmON church was not what it claimed to be. That "moment of clarity" when I allowed myself to actually think "Maybe it isn't true" was one of the most devastating moments of my life, along with being one of the most enlightening and freeing moments of my life; All at the same time. Shortly after that I also asked Google about message boards for doubting MORmONs, and after reading from many of them, I joined NOM 1.0 because it was a light landing-space, and spent the next few weeks devouring everything I could on NOM, realizing that I wasn't the only one.

After losing my “testimony” of MORmONism, I still thought I could remain and embrace “Christian” values, still thinking it was a “good place to raise a family.” A few months later, I had another “moment of clarity” experience while teaching 12-year-olds about the “Plan of Happiness” and realized that I couldn’t do that any more either. I wriggled my way out of the teaching calling, was given a different, lower-impact, non-teaching-testifying calling until my “ward” was split, at which point I disappeared from the MORmON radar. At some during the low-impact calling, I also stopped attending regularly.

At this point, I still spend way too much time trying to untangle my brain from more than 40 years of MORmON indoctrination. Most of my family is still “in”, so MORmONism won’t leave me alone, and unfortunately, I don’t see myself leaving it alone any time soon; Unless we can come up with a NOM-witness protection program…

So there you have it: I lost my testimony because: Skateboarding.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel


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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Red Ryder » Wed May 15, 2019 2:42 pm

I opened Pandora’s Box in 2004.

I navigated the rabbit hole and built an impressive google search history on all things Mormon History.

I have an innate ability to see and recognize patterns in data sets, organizations, and human behaviors due to my professional career training.

I was a young father, stressed out from traveling for work too much, and exhausted all the time. One Sunday I realized that church was making me miserable and that my full day of church meetings was contributing to it.

My testimony nearly evaporated fairly quickly but hung around at 10% for a long time. When the Johnson brothers did the Late War analysis I lost the remaining 10%. The BOM wouldn’t pass a high school plagiarism check.

My bank account broke up with the Church.
I choose my underwear most days.
I mow my lawn wearing only one t-shirt.
I still attend for family reasons.
My ward leaves me alone most of the time.
Many of the NOMs here have significantly influenced my thinking and many I call friends IRL.

I suffer from Mormon Internet addiction and can’t seem to pull away from this train wreck.

I’m seeking normalcy but have recently come to the conclusion normal doesn’t exist.

Not when you were raised in a cult.

I have a man crush on Corsair.
I’m jealous of Hagoth’s intellect.
I miss Enough. Stealth too.
I have a list of NOM ladies I would like to date if/when polygamy is reinstated here on earth.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Random » Sat May 25, 2019 3:54 pm

I'm a bit different from the typical person here in that
I don't believe Joseph Smith practiced polygamy (for me, the evidence for and against are quite close with the tipping point being against - as the witnesses witnessed long after JS was dead and BY had something to gain by pretending Joseph had a lot of wives),
I believe the Book of Mormon is from God (but that the LDS church, and all factions since JS died aren't getting its message, which is "You guys are f**ked up and not righteous like you think you are")
and I listen to the teachings of a man named Denver Snuffer.

Some of the things that break people's shelves were never a problem for me because, when I was 11, I had an older brother in college who was researching Mormon history. He would come home and tell my mom what he had learned. I guess I was inoculated, though it did make me despise Brigham Young.

The big thing for me was after 9/11. I thought Hinckley would say (in general conference) that that was God's shot across the bow for this country. Instead, he was namby pamby, not brave and outspoken like the prophets in the scriptures (I suppose that's why DS is an allure; he speaks what he speaks and is not afraid of anyone).

The more I learned (and the stupider and more controlling the church got), the less interested I was in being a Mormon believer (meaning a believer in "the One True Church" based in Salt Lake City).

It was the "revelation" denying salvation for children (even baby blessings!) because someone they could not control was sinning in the eyes of the Church that pushed me to resign - and I have never regretted that choice (thought I did regret throwing out all my garments; some were the two kinds of one-piece that you probably can't get anymore. Yeah, I'm weird. I like LDS garments; very nice to wear when I'm cold. The onesies were mostly for novelty; I didn't wear them much).

I've been married twice. The father of my children (first spouse) died while I was married to the second one. No kids with the second one, so when we split the sheets, there was no need to keep in contact with him. Only one sibling is tbm (as far as I know, they still are), but accepts the path I am on. As far as I know, only one extended family member knows I'm not tbm (I don't really keep in touch with the extended family members). All that was to say that I don't have anyone harassing me, never had any real pressure to stay in the Church. When I moved to this area, I didn't attend my ward, though I did attend a ward closer fairly regularly until working on Sundays prevented that (turned out that ward was in a different stake! Go figure. The farthest building from you is probably the one they try to force you to go to). Plus, I resigned through the attorney (just before he started a website), so got no flak from the leaders of that ward. Ever.

Two of my three children have resigned, but none of them consider themselves members. Their father would blame me, I'm sure, but they made their own choices.

My signature tells how I was for decades and decades. I was that firm, proud, haughty believer who thought those who drank coffee, tea, and alcohol were going to go to hell, and that we (I) were better than them. So, my signature is my penance for the people I was an @ssh@le to in my teen years and in my twenties.
[They] which knew me from the beginning . . . would testify, that after the most straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee.
Acts 26:5

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