NOM

notforprophet wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:42 pm

Hermey wrote: ↑Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:24 pm Welcome! Now, sit down, relax, and breathe. You're gonna be okay.

Get online and order this book. It'll help. Read it before you do much else. You need to make sense of and unwind twenty or thirty years of indoctrination.

While your directive was not for me, I did as you suggested. I am most of the way through the book (taking the time to go check the appendices is making it a longer read) and I am loving it. Thank you so much for this suggestion!

Welcome to NOM!

Thank you!

notforprophet wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:42 pm

Hermey wrote: ↑Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:24 pm Welcome! Now, sit down, relax, and breathe. You're gonna be okay.

Get online and order this book. It'll help. Read it before you do much else. You need to make sense of and unwind twenty or thirty years of indoctrination.

While your directive was not for me, I did as you suggested. I am most of the way through the book (taking the time to go check the appendices is making it a longer read) and I am loving it. Thank you so much for this suggestion!

Glad you are enjoying it!

I can relate to so much of your struggle. My husband is aware of many of the issues and agrees that they are issues, but is adamant that the problems don't outweigh the good that the church does and is in his life.

The difficulty for me is that I am very angry at being deceived for so long and at some of the changes to my life such as being a stay-at-home parent for many years while being depressed and miserable that would not have happened had I been free to even think about what I would like to have done with my life. One thing that comes up for us is that people who are members relate so closely with the church and that when someone questions the church was angry at the church they feel that their spouse is angry at them. Helping my husband understand that I am not angry with him but I am angry with the system that I was forced into has helped him be more understanding of my journey.

What is difficult right now is that the church seems to be retrenching rather than progressing. I believe I could continue to stay engaged if there were any sign that the church truly does want to be honest and transparent and respectful of diversity. However it's clear that they have no such intention. And my case I also don't doubt that my mother-in-law would attempt to destroy my marriage so that my husband could retain his eternal blessings without me dragging him down. I believe this is part of the reason why he won't consider thinking the church is not true until his parents have died. Of course this is just my speculation.

My husband is an incredible man, an amazing professional and academic, and a wonderful father. After some rocky time it's clear that he loves me more than his idea of a perfect Mormon family. That doesn't mean that it's always easy to be in the middle of a mixed Faith marriage.

If you feel the need to try to stay engaged with the church there is a group on Facebook called a thoughtful faith that is focused on people with unconventional beliefs staying in tune by participating in the LDS version of the Gospel. This page was useful to me as a transition point but I personally feel I've outgrown it.

Thoughtful wrote: ↑Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:44 pm I can relate to so much of your struggle. My husband is aware of many of the issues and agrees that they are issues, but is adamant that the problems don't outweigh the good that the church does and is in his life.

For what its worth, I can relate exactly to this...

Hermey wrote: ↑Sat Jan 20, 2018 9:57 am

notforprophet wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:42 pm

Hermey wrote: ↑Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:24 pm Welcome! Now, sit down, relax, and breathe. You're gonna be okay.

Get online and order this book. It'll help. Read it before you do much else. You need to make sense of and unwind twenty or thirty years of indoctrination.

While your directive was not for me, I did as you suggested. I am most of the way through the book (taking the time to go check the appendices is making it a longer read) and I am loving it. Thank you so much for this suggestion!

Glad you are enjoying it!

Finished it. Loved it. It led me to Studies of the Book of Mormon from BH Roberts research notes.