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Archimedes
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Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:22 am

Re: New member of the group

Post by Archimedes » Mon Apr 09, 2018 1:47 pm

alas wrote:
Sun Apr 08, 2018 12:40 pm
In many ways, the church is emotionally abusive. It uses a lot of shaming to control people, so if you had a childhood that was shaming, then church can just be a continuation of abuse. Just like I reached the point when I no longer let my father sexually abuse me, by #1 recognizing it was abuse. #2 getting out of the relationship with him or changing it so that he could no longer abuse me. #3 healing the damage the abuse caused in my life. Then I did the same with my mother. With my mother it was harder because emotional abuse is harder to recognize as abuse than something concrete like beatings or sexual abuse. With the church it was even harder to name the abuse as abuse. But excess shaming, never being good enough, sexism, all in the name of God is abuse. The church requires that to be in any form of relationship with it, you have to put yourself in a position that is like being a child with the church your all knowing all powerful parent. Otherwise it shuns you. So, just redrawing boundaries with the church was not enough like it had been with my parents, and I found I had to remove myself from the relationship.
The lime green one speaks wisdom.
"She never loved you; she loved the church, her one true love. She used you to marry the church by proxy."

-- unknown reddit poster

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