New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

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justpassingthrough
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Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:43 am

New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by justpassingthrough » Tue Aug 21, 2018 2:41 pm

Just registering on these boards after having lurked here and at the old boards for a while. I did register and post over there but it was just a handful of times and I don’t even remember what my name was. Thought this new one fits both my normal activity here and where I’m at with the church.

Grew up in a TBM home, doubted since teen years but did serve a mission and enjoyed it. Went to BYU and recently married in temple. Both my dad and FIL have been stake presidents, so it’s a tough spot to say, “I’m out.” I know you all understand.

Found a fellow NOM to marry which felt like ty luckiest draw possible as I wasn’t ready to leave yet. Anyway, I’ll end this with two notes:

1) I appreciate the folks that share here and put in the work to run this board. Having an outlet just to know I’m not the only person thinking the way I do has been very helpful.

2) DW’s shelf just broke so this is moving things quicker than expected. I thought we were on a slow fade but she’s drafted her exit letter to family. Garments were the thing she can’t go along with and family is very nosy. Will be seeking advice in another post soon but thought I’d introduce myself first.

Thanks all and best of luck. Many of you have inspired me to be truer to myself and I hope to be completely honest soon.

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Corsair
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by Corsair » Tue Aug 21, 2018 6:45 pm

Good luck navigating this transition. While there are guidelines for a better faith transition, we rarely figure out what they are early enough to make the transition anything other than bumpy.

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MoPag
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by MoPag » Wed Aug 22, 2018 6:57 am

Welcome to you and your DW!! Glad you could join our ward family!!! :D
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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jfro18
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by jfro18 » Wed Aug 22, 2018 7:46 am

Welcome!

I assume it's a good thing your wife's shelf broke, but I know it's not always as simple as that.

Please feel free to vent here any time - I have found that to be a great outlet especially when the people I could talk to in my family are TBM with one exception, so it's nice to have that ability to speak freely without it turning into a big deal.

And keep us posted on how things go - it's good to read the experiences of others so we know what might eventually happen with our spouses/in-laws down the road.

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Emower
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by Emower » Wed Aug 22, 2018 10:50 am

Sounds like you hit the jackpot. I love to hear stories where people's faith crises are not as pain filled as mine was. Keep us posted, different stories are always nice to read.

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moksha
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by moksha » Tue Aug 28, 2018 12:33 pm

Welcome, Justpassingthrough.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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hiding in plain sight
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by hiding in plain sight » Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:34 am

Definitely Welcome.

Being in a family with two Stake Presidents has got to be a challenge. But having your spouse on the same path has got to make all the difference.

justpassingthrough
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Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:43 am

Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by justpassingthrough » Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:11 pm

jfro18 wrote:
Wed Aug 22, 2018 7:46 am
Welcome!

I assume it's a good thing your wife's shelf broke, but I know it's not always as simple as that.

Please feel free to vent here any time - I have found that to be a great outlet especially when the people I could talk to in my family are TBM with one exception, so it's nice to have that ability to speak freely without it turning into a big deal.

And keep us posted on how things go - it's good to read the experiences of others so we know what might eventually happen with our spouses/in-laws down the road.
Will do. Yes, I think the shelf breaking is mostly good. It’s just surprising to go from “I don’t love this and not sure how long I’ll stay” to “I’m done, don’t want to be associated with this anymore” in what feels like very little time.

My sister is engaged to be married in the temple this year, so we’re likely going to attend before announcing an exit. We’ve kept the TRs, turned down a calling and stopped paying tithing/skipped settlement last year but I’m assuming the card will work until someone comes to me and says they’re revoking it.

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MalcolmVillager
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by MalcolmVillager » Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:35 pm

Welcome. You are lucky to be on the same page. My DW and I were not for years (most of which I just faked and played TBM) but she has recently started a FC at a pace faster than mine. I think she is lucky to have me ahead of her on the path so she hasn't had to be as cautious or secretive.

May you find unity in the journey.

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RubinHighlander
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Re: New to NOM 2.0, DW’s shelf just broke

Post by RubinHighlander » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:18 am

Good news! Took less than a year for my DW to catch up, for which I was very grateful! Good luck with the transition, lots of good into here on this site.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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