Newly disillusioned...

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EternityIsNow
Posts: 142
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2016 11:48 pm

Re: Newly disillusioned...

Post by EternityIsNow » Sat May 11, 2019 11:33 pm

Just This Guy wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 5:04 am
2. If you feel you can't handle being in the bishopric, use your family and career as leverage. Let the bishop know that you have a young family and a new career and they have to come first for you. Ask to be released so you can focus on those who need you the most. No need to even bring up your doubts. Most people will respect that. You can use that to help to slowly fade away from the ward. The less they know, the less likely there will be drama.
This is good advice. Going slow means not 'outing' yourself too rapidly. Change is hard, in my experience there are endless ways to get out of callings. You have probably heard many of them. The best is mental and physical health. If the situation is stressing you, that is enough of an excuse! Your health and family's well-being must always come first... no need to elaborate to the Bishop or anyone else about what you are going through.

Also, as for your personal research, sounds like you have hit the primary shelf-breaking sources. But you seem like the type of thinker who might do well to explore a bit outside the post-LDS sources. Maybe read a book by someone leaving Judaism or Catholicism. Very eye-opening. Also, I strongly suggest some study of the science of religion, consider how our brains have co-evolved with religious practices. Religion is normal human behavior, we need community. There are alternatives to religion of course today, but no need to rush things. Gradual change, and giving yourself time to adjust, can be really beneficial. Also, deprogramming yourself takes years. There are no shortcuts, our fundamental ways of thinking can be so intertwined with the religion, even people who are out completely often still think in black and white LDS ways. This takes time to shift, and finding your own value system will not be easy at first, the water is too murky. Eventually you will find your path, just be patient.

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Curelom
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed May 08, 2019 12:41 pm

Re: Newly disillusioned...

Post by Curelom » Sun May 12, 2019 8:07 pm

EternityIsNow wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 11:33 pm
Just This Guy wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 5:04 am
2. If you feel you can't handle being in the bishopric, use your family and career as leverage. Let the bishop know that you have a young family and a new career and they have to come first for you. Ask to be released so you can focus on those who need you the most. No need to even bring up your doubts. Most people will respect that. You can use that to help to slowly fade away from the ward. The less they know, the less likely there will be drama.
This is good advice. Going slow means not 'outing' yourself too rapidly. Change is hard, in my experience there are endless ways to get out of callings. You have probably heard many of them. The best is mental and physical health. If the situation is stressing you, that is enough of an excuse! Your health and family's well-being must always come first... no need to elaborate to the Bishop or anyone else about what you are going through.

Also, as for your personal research, sounds like you have hit the primary shelf-breaking sources. But you seem like the type of thinker who might do well to explore a bit outside the post-LDS sources. Maybe read a book by someone leaving Judaism or Catholicism. Very eye-opening. Also, I strongly suggest some study of the science of religion, consider how our brains have co-evolved with religious practices. Religion is normal human behavior, we need community. There are alternatives to religion of course today, but no need to rush things. Gradual change, and giving yourself time to adjust, can be really beneficial. Also, deprogramming yourself takes years. There are no shortcuts, our fundamental ways of thinking can be so intertwined with the religion, even people who are out completely often still think in black and white LDS ways. This takes time to shift, and finding your own value system will not be easy at first, the water is too murky. Eventually you will find your path, just be patient.
Thanks for the advice. I have been listening to a course on the history of christianity which has been eye opening, definently not the "apostasy" story you learn in church or while on the mission. I'm only half way through the course but has helped me understand the historical and philosophical foundation of christianity better. I haven't thought about reading a book about someone leaving another religion. I think that would be pretty interesting. Any suggestions? If not I'm sure a quick Google search will bring up a few.

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Angel
Posts: 188
Joined: Thu May 31, 2018 8:26 am

Re: Newly disillusioned...

Post by Angel » Sun May 12, 2019 9:17 pm

Curelom wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 8:07 pm

Thanks for the advice. I have been listening to a course on the history of christianity which has been eye opening, definently not the "apostasy" story you learn in church or while on the mission. I'm only half way through the course but has helped me understand the historical and philosophical foundation of christianity better. I haven't thought about reading a book about someone leaving another religion. I think that would be pretty interesting. Any suggestions? If not I'm sure a quick Google search will bring up a few.
The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety
Watts, Alan W., Alan Watts

Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
Rohr, Richard

Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning
Fowler, James W.

The Sin of Certainty by Peter Enns

The Four Agreements, Ruiz, Don Miguel

and a movie - Shyamalan's The Village... all the elders, they know it is a lie, but even after the experiment goes south they hold onto the lie as a way to try and heal from past scars...to feel safe, even when the lie does not bring safety.

Looking forward to seeing what other book suggestions are posted.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Corsair
Posts: 2677
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Newly disillusioned...

Post by Corsair » Mon May 13, 2019 9:08 am

EternityIsNow wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 11:33 pm
Also, as for your personal research, sounds like you have hit the primary shelf-breaking sources. But you seem like the type of thinker who might do well to explore a bit outside the post-LDS sources. Maybe read a book by someone leaving Judaism or Catholicism. Very eye-opening.
Here is a recent Mormon Stories episode featuring the exit story of a former member of Jehovah's Witnesses. This is an interesting and entertaining brief religious history of a faith system that you likely have no experience with. But the history and the exit story of Lloyd Evans will sound eerily familiar. Mormonism has it's own innate strangeness, but it runs in a curious parallel with the Jehovah's Witnesses as another Restoration Era belief system.

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Palerider
Posts: 1568
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:44 am

Re: Newly disillusioned...

Post by Palerider » Tue May 28, 2019 11:42 pm

Seems like everyone who recognizes the LDS church's integrity crisis, (I no longer call it my faith crisis because I'm not the one with the problem, the church is) has to go through the process of reestablishing their life paradigm and moral values framework.

I would only suggest one does not throw out the baby with the bathwater.

The truly Christian parts of the Biblical "Gospel" are worth keeping. There are "traditions of men" both in LDS culture and out of it that need to be filtered through and rejected. You now have the unique opportunity to set your own standards of excellence. Science is great, but it can only take you so far.......in my opinion.

But that's just me. ;)

Best of luck in your new adventure.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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Mad Jax
Posts: 501
Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2017 9:55 pm

Re: Newly disillusioned...

Post by Mad Jax » Sun Jun 02, 2019 12:36 pm

Well I hope you enjoy being here. A number of us rarely discuss the church and just BS all the time, but there's plenty of support if you need it.
Free will is a golden thread flowing through the matrix of fixed events.

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moksha
Posts: 2675
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Newly disillusioned...

Post by moksha » Mon Jun 03, 2019 9:37 pm

Curelom wrote:
Thu May 09, 2019 12:48 pm
Being the lone voice of reason/dissent in ward councils/bishopric meeting is getting frustrating.
Members in your ward no doubt appreciate you for being their voice of reason.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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