Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

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Guy
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Guy » Thu Aug 22, 2019 9:48 am

Corsair wrote:
Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:33 pm
Guy wrote:
Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:11 pm
Third (and this one's the doozie) was when DW and I were preparing to be sealed in the SLC Temple (both in our 40's). We were married in a civil ceremony first, then a year later applied for the sealing. In the meantime our beautiful baby boy was born. When we applied we were told that our son could not be sealed to us because DW had been previously sealed to her ex and our son was consider sealed under that sealing. This crushed me like nothing else in my life - to be told that my son could not be sealed to us because he fell under a sealing DW had with another man. It got worked out in the end and my son was there with us, but it was a hell of a rough time and was an event that proved to be a very heavy load on my shelf!
Much sympathy, my friend. I know a local couple in my stake who were in the same boat. She was widowed at a young age while pregnant. He was a convert and they got married civilly. But they can't get sealed without Her breaking the first sealing. He cannot be sealed to anyone because his parents are not LDS at all. Plus, their children together are sealed to Husband Number One. They have withdrawn from activity.
I look back now at my time as an active member of the church and it amazes me the amount of mental gymnastics I had to go through to make it all work (or just to stay sane)!
Happy Dissenter :D

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Corsair
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Corsair » Thu Aug 22, 2019 10:23 am

Guy wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 9:48 am
I look back now at my time as an active member of the church and it amazes me the amount of mental gymnastics I had to go through to make it all work (or just to stay sane)!
The LDS church wants everyone to assume their policies and doctrines simply cannot be ignored. Church authority steamrolls over family relationships based on continuing the policies and customs of 19th century polygamy zealots. The average church would be happy to have a married couple make a life together and simply not worry about some Celestial bureaucracy validating their arbitrary rules.

"Eternal families" is supposed to be a big selling point of the LDS church. They ignore the fact that every other Christian denomination already believes that loving families being reunited in Heaven is simply a built-in feature of salvation. It's only the Mormons who are cetain that these relationships are categorically ended unless proper validation is done in their expensive temples. Only Mormons believe in eternal separation.

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Dravin
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Dravin » Tue Aug 27, 2019 9:52 am

I was born and raised Mormon but spent my teenage years inactive. I reactivated in my early twenties and ended up serving a mission. Prior to my mission I was extremely zealous and sanctimonious, serving my mission put the first cracks in my shelf but I didn't realize it at the time. When I got back I was sorta active but not as zealously so.

I met my wife online at a LDS.net (I think they've since renamed it), ended up a moderator and even married another moderator (both of us firm believers at the time). Around age 30 I started having epistemological concerns about the church that arose from pursuing a degree in geology and general scientific critical analysis that good universities teach. I found, the original, NOM during my transition period where I was starting to not believe the church but the cultural, personal, and relationship investment into the church made it difficult to accept where I was heading. At the end of the day I stopped believing and didn't necessarily handle my conclusion of non-belief well by resigning and then informing my wife of that resignation (and pushing some behavior changes on my part faster and harder than in hindsight I should have). Things were rocky with my wife for a while, at one point a freak out an control maneuver put us dangerously close to heading down the road to divorce (honestly, I think if I'd been younger when this occurred I'd have ended up divorced). Things have settled into a bit of an unspoken uneasy truce with the church and we both do our best to not think about it much.
Hindsight is all well and good... until you trip.

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Guy
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Guy » Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:56 pm

Corsair wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 10:23 am
... Only Mormons believe in eternal separation.
So true! I might use this someday!
Happy Dissenter :D

TestimonyLost2
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by TestimonyLost2 » Fri Sep 13, 2019 7:21 am

I'm a longtime lurker/rare poster going back to the old site. Lost access to my old account and finally stopped being lazy and set up a new one.

I'm a nonbeliever that's still going through the motions but eeeeever so slowly stepping back from the church. Started turning down speaking/teaching assignments a few years ago. Turned down my first calling last year. Since two hour church began, I never go to Sunday school and only occasionally to priesthood. Recommend expired a couple weeks ago and it might just stay expired. It's stuff that when I type it out seems small but they've all felt like huge, positive steps for me.

My wife has known for a few years now and while it's been tough on her she's really trying to be okay with the small changes so far. And by okay with it, I mean she never really wants to talk about it. This is tough but better than a lot of the stories I've heard over the years. The recommend expiring was probably the biggest change yet and since she doesn't want to talk about it I don't know exactly how she's handling it. We'll see I guess.

I still have a few kids left to hit baptism age. That's one of the toughest parts for me. I'd probably never worry about my recommend again if it wasn't that I've baptized/confirmed the first bunch and it breaks my heart to think about someone else standing in the "worthy father" role for my younger kids.

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Fri Sep 13, 2019 7:26 am

TestimonyLost2 wrote:I'm a longtime lurker/rare poster going back to the old site. Lost access to my old account and finally stopped being lazy and set up a new one.

I'm a nonbeliever that's still going through the motions but eeeeever so slowly stepping back from the church. Started turning down speaking/teaching assignments a few years ago. Turned down my first calling last year. Since two hour church began, I never go to Sunday school and only occasionally to priesthood. Recommend expired a couple weeks ago and it might just stay expired. It's stuff that when I type it out seems small but they've all felt like huge, positive steps for me.

My wife has known for a few years now and while it's been tough on her she's really trying to be okay with the small changes so far. And by okay with it, I mean she never really wants to talk about it. This is tough but better than a lot of the stories I've heard over the years. The recommend expiring was probably the biggest change yet and since she doesn't want to talk about it I don't know exactly how she's handling it. We'll see I guess.

I still have a few kids left to hit baptism age. That's one of the toughest parts for me. I'd probably never worry about my recommend again if it wasn't that I've baptized/confirmed the first bunch and it breaks my heart to think about someone else standing in the "worthy father" role for my younger kids.
Welcome back to 2.0. I am in the same boat as you. Did the gradual pull back of activity and only attend 1st hour with the wife and kids. Just had my son turn 8 this year and allowed Grandpa to step in for me. It was tough but I survived with a stoic attitude and allowed it to be about my son and not me as best as I could. It never ends. Not just baptism but every stepping stone with kids.

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Redcrown27
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Re: Maybe it’d be nice if everyone posted a very short intro who they are

Post by Redcrown27 » Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:21 am

Meilingkie wrote:
Tue May 14, 2019 10:57 pm
I decided I’d had enough, after 7 years of shoutingmatches and sobbingparties. Going on Mormonstories (705) really made my ex realize I wanted out, needed out. So I took a Church-sabbatical of a year. After that year she called for a divorce. Turned out she’d already had a boyfriend for years.... Anyway, left the house July 28th last year. Resignation confirmed August 4th.

41, 2 adult kids. Living with my parents again. Church definitely fucked my life up.
It is sad that your wife had a boyfriend for a long time. It is sad when the so called believing faithful members of the church don't bother to live up to the standards. Even if you weren't in a religion she was still having an affair and that was wrong of her to do. It is on her not you. You are moving on from this. Back in your parents home is a transitional spot.

A little about me.

I stopped believing mid 20s. I never had a solid career path. I lived at home with my parents. I went to college class off and on. I had other ambitions that didn't work out for me. I probably would have left sooner if I would have gotten some of the same or similar credentials that I have now and started working with the same hours and pay that I work now. I am currently working a basic position in the medical field.

While still attending the church I never served a mission so I was practically an outcast in the dating scene. I after a time I was fed up with it and started wearing black shirts to church every Sunday to go against the standard "Uniform of the priesthood" Business suit with a white shirt.

Part of the reason why I never went on a mission is that I felt dirty going out with the EQ Presidency to harass the inactive members of the church to the point that they would shout at us not to come back. The EQ presidency would pull out of their briefcase a letter telling members how to officially resign from the LDS church.

Years later I now see that this was partly to do with the lawsuit with the Tanners. They published the resignation process in the UTLM publication. The LDS church wanted to sue for copyright something or other legal garbage. Basically the Tanners response was that they were using fair use of publication and that the LDS church did a lousy job at letting people know that they could actually resign from the LDS church. A selection of Stakes were tasked to seek out inactive members and give them the information on how to resign as a means to prove that the LDS weren't hiding anything. (BS!)

To recap mid 20s I stopped believing. I started exploring other faiths. I felt empty and dead inside. Nothing seemed true to me because I was brain washed into thinking that no other religion or belief was true. For a time I self identified as Agnostic. Though I still went to church for a bit of social interaction and to have friendly chats with the Bishop at the time who he himself later left the church so we were indeed kindred spirits.

Early 30s I obtained some credentials that I used to start working my current position of work in the medical field. It was nice to not have to rely on under the table pay for gardening work and going back to working for the same old thrift store for a set number of months before I was asked to leave.

I truly began to hatch out of my shell and blossomed into someone who was a little more confident. I walked into the a Christian church one day and began to learn what they believed. I began reading the Bible without the mindset of Mormon teachings in my mind. I am still learning the Bible. I am not an expert. I will say that I am a believer of Jesus ( read the bible Jesus is WAY different than the false Mormon Jesus) and I am saved by grace. My works are as filthy rags and learning these things allowed so many of my negative emotional issues melt away.

I later met a beautiful woman who thought of me as hansom. We started dating and eventually got married. She is indeed the sparkling Gem in my life.

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