Long Time Lurker Checking In

[country girl]

I was a long time lurker on the old NOM. I did an intro and posted a few times. I would mostly lurk a couple times a month. I am BIC, youngest of many, all siblings still firmly in, parents have been on many missions, and I live in a very rural, very Mormon community. My dh is pretty much on the same page as I am. He was not raised in an orthodox Mormon house, so he doesn’t have the same issues that I have. But he is very supportive of me and we have been taking this journey together, even if our reasons are different.

My journey is very different from many. I never really felt like I fit into the church, so I never fully put myself in. My dh and I were sealed in the temple a couple years after our wedding to fit into the mold. We have tried to be all-in, but I could never settle into the TBM mold. Because we live in such a Mormon community we try to stay mildly involved, mostly so our children won’t be seen as outcasts and we believe leaving the church would be career suicide. A couple years ago we moved to the community next to the one we were raised in and started attending church there. We are partly active and look for all the positives we can in the church. The ward at this point is a community for us as we feel like there are not many “community” opportunities where we live.

My middle child is 18, really into church, and getting ready to put his mission papers in. We have had many conversations about what I think he should focus on with his two years away. I feel at peace with his decision, but I’m sure I will need advice as the time gets closer for him to go.

That is my very short story. I love my life and I am very happy where I am. Life is always evolving and it will continue to do so.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

Welcome! Sounds like you have a healthy perspective on things and your level of commitment is working well for you. I agree with your assessment of rural community living regarding the church. I have a good friend in a similar situation. Becoming a pariah there has real consequences.

[Fifi de la Vergne]

Every story is a little different, but there are commonalities. My oldest son is the only one of my kids who still believes, and he's almost a year into his mission. I don't know if I have any advice, but I am here to commiserate with. If it would help, PM me.

[Newme]

Hi CountryGirl,
You're lucky to have your husband on the same page with you.
And you seem to be able to see some good of the church, while keeping distance from the bad.
I look forward to hearing more from you!

[MalcolmVillager]

Welcome country girl. You don't have to be lonely with farmers . . . Wait wrong board.

You will have lots of company here!

[GoodBoy]

Welcome. I also live in a very rural community, although not in Utah. I'm glad you are here with us!