Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

[Zack Tacorin Dos]

[Deleted because of reasons.]

Best wishes,
Zack

[Newme]

I love it!
As I read that, it seemed to validate how I felt.
I've felt those things - but I haven't really put them in words like that.
And often, on some level, I've believed that I was wrong for seeking truth and others are right for clinging "to the rod."

BTW - Zack, you've helped my sanity more than you may know.
Often over the years, I'd sit in church, needing some proof that I wasn't the only one thinking as I did.
And I'd pull up NOM on my phone and read something you wrote - which was kind and empathic of TBMs, but also validating to NOMs.

[Vlad the Emailer]

BTW - Zack, you've helped my sanity more than you may know.
Often over the years, I'd sit in church, needing some proof that I wasn't the only one thinking as I did.
And I'd pull up NOM on my phone and read something you wrote - which was kind and empathic of TBMs, but also validating to NOMs.

Same here. Thanks Zack and thanks for mentioning it, Newme.

[Galileo]

AZFlyer wrote about how there seems to be a lot of pain here at NOM lately.

There is definitely a lot of pain that has to be dealt with when going through the whole faith-crisis thing. I remember going to church and all I could think about was suicide. I would plan the whole thing out in sacrament meeting. The NOM board was my only outlet - all my fellow NOMs were the only people I could talk to.

8 years later, things are 180 degrees different! I love life! Once you get through all the crap and emerge on the other side, there's an entire world to be enjoyed!

[Newme]

AZFlyer wrote about how there seems to be a lot of pain here at NOM lately.

There is definitely a lot of pain that has to be dealt with when going through the whole faith-crisis thing. I remember going to church and all I could think about was suicide. I would plan the whole thing out in sacrament meeting. The NOM board was my only outlet - all my fellow NOMs were the only people I could talk to.

8 years later, things are 180 degrees different! I love life! Once you get through all the crap and emerge on the other side, there's an entire world to be enjoyed!

Awesome!
I do think that pain is part of life - and at least partly, experience ideally increases ability to cope and come out a more intelligent, deeper and compassionate person. The challenge is to not be afraid of confronting pain. Ironically, the church creates pain (esp. shame) and yet discourages confronting it with the idea that "one will get closer to God by scriptures than by psychology." And yet psych-ology is "study of the soul" and is essential for peace and joy. Even Jesus taught to find God within, and to stop looking externally.

[dispirited]

I used to go through extremely painful experiences by myself, not wanting to open up to my wife, not wanting to show my pain, or to be vulnerable. It was miserable, and hard, and I'm not sure I learned what I needed to from it. Then something happened where I went through one with my wife. It was still hard, but having someone to talk to, to discuss my feelings with, to be vulnerable with made all the difference in working through the pain and grief. After working through this together, when my questions and faith crisis came I could communicate what as was feeling with her more easily. I love that we went through some really hard experiences together, it prepared us to communicate better for my faith crisis.

[SeeNoEvil]

Today I ventured into this area of posting for the first time and WOW! what amazing stuff! Zack your poem is tender and beautiful. Written from the heart. Finding an outlet for the pain is something I found vital to the journey. My first writings were very dark and painful and were necessary for me to heal. I am glad to hear things are much better. Thank you for sharing.