Spouseman reading CES letter

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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Thoughtful
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Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Thoughtful » Wed Sep 05, 2018 9:47 pm

He doesn't love the tone, but the plagiarism evidence is speaking to him. I hope he will finish it.

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Corsair
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Corsair » Wed Sep 05, 2018 10:08 pm

This is a critical time for Spouseman. You have to let this happen pretty naturally so that the emotional change happens on his own accord. The chance of backtrack can occur if you concur with the CES Letter too quickly. You have be as accepting of whatever he decides. Weirdly enough, this is the time to be as Christlke and forgiving as possible.

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jfro18
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by jfro18 » Thu Sep 06, 2018 7:19 pm

Corsair wrote:
Wed Sep 05, 2018 10:08 pm
This is a critical time for Spouseman. You have to let this happen pretty naturally so that the emotional change happens on his own accord. The chance of backtrack can occur if you concur with the CES Letter too quickly. You have be as accepting of whatever he decides. Weirdly enough, this is the time to be as Christlke and forgiving as possible.
I agree 100%. The other thing I would do is just be prepared with the 'normal' apologetic responses that FAIR gives, because the first thing my wife did was go to FAIR. She ultimately bought their rebuttals and that so far has been the end of her willingness to read, and to be honest she did not spend much time reading the CES Letter... she just skimmed it so you might be in better shape since it sounds like he is really taking is more seriously.

Good luck - hope you get some good results from it!

Thoughtful
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Thoughtful » Thu Sep 06, 2018 10:14 pm

He was irritated at the tone. He did find the comparison between the contemporary books interesting, but hated the snark. So, I I agreed and recommend letter to my wife instead and he's reading that one instead.

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Dravin
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Dravin » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:25 am

jfro18 wrote:
Thu Sep 06, 2018 7:19 pm
I agree 100%. The other thing I would do is just be prepared with the 'normal' apologetic responses that FAIR gives, because the first thing my wife did was go to FAIR. She ultimately bought their rebuttals and that so far has been the end of her willingness to read, and to be honest she did not spend much time reading the CES Letter... she just skimmed it so you might be in better shape since it sounds like he is really taking is more seriously.

Good luck - hope you get some good results from it!
It's funny, I think it was the 'quality' of FAIR's rebuttals (usually dug up in an effort to defend the church on LDS.net) that put the first creaks in my shelf. I was often left thinking, "This is the best defense that exists?"
Hindsight is all well and good... until you trip.

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alas
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by alas » Fri Sep 07, 2018 9:05 am

I think your spouse an is in the emotional condition where he no longer wants the church to be true more than he wants to know the truth. The church supporting a sexual predator over his victims will do that to a parent.

Thoughtful
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Thoughtful » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:20 pm

alas wrote:
Fri Sep 07, 2018 9:05 am
I think your spouse an is in the emotional condition where he no longer wants the church to be true more than he wants to know the truth. The church supporting a sexual predator over his victims will do that to a parent.

I agree.

He read about the temple ceremony Masonic penalties yesterday, and the crack in the shelf was audible.

aoirselvar
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by aoirselvar » Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:58 am

My wife isn’t even ready for the CES letter or the letter to my wife, but I don’t know if she realizes that she’s a little just a little NOM in that she’s sees that there are some pretty shitty bishops out there. A couple of things like that are starting, but I get the feeling this is going to take years and years and there’s a chance it will never happen.

So the fact that your NOM husband is even reading the CES letters is a huge step on its own.


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Thoughtful
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Thoughtful » Tue Nov 13, 2018 8:08 pm

aoirselvar wrote:
Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:58 am
My wife isn’t even ready for the CES letter or the letter to my wife, but I don’t know if she realizes that she’s a little just a little NOM in that she’s sees that there are some pretty shitty bishops out there. A couple of things like that are starting, but I get the feeling this is going to take years and years and there’s a chance it will never happen.

So the fact that your NOM husband is even reading the CES letters is a huge step on its own.


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He's out now. Enjoying second Saturday with me. Struggles on Sunday nights with some feelings around it all, it's hard to unplug 30 years of programming.

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Emower
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Emower » Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:56 pm

Thoughtful wrote:
Tue Nov 13, 2018 8:08 pm
aoirselvar wrote:
Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:58 am
My wife isn’t even ready for the CES letter or the letter to my wife, but I don’t know if she realizes that she’s a little just a little NOM in that she’s sees that there are some pretty shitty bishops out there. A couple of things like that are starting, but I get the feeling this is going to take years and years and there’s a chance it will never happen.

So the fact that your NOM husband is even reading the CES letters is a huge step on its own.


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He's out now. Enjoying second Saturday with me. Struggles on Sunday nights with some feelings around it all, it's hard to unplug 30 years of programming.
Wow. That escalated quickly.

Thoughtful
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Re: Spouseman reading CES letter

Post by Thoughtful » Thu Nov 15, 2018 11:52 pm

Emower wrote:
Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:56 pm
Thoughtful wrote:
Tue Nov 13, 2018 8:08 pm
aoirselvar wrote:
Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:58 am
My wife isn’t even ready for the CES letter or the letter to my wife, but I don’t know if she realizes that she’s a little just a little NOM in that she’s sees that there are some pretty shitty bishops out there. A couple of things like that are starting, but I get the feeling this is going to take years and years and there’s a chance it will never happen.

So the fact that your NOM husband is even reading the CES letters is a huge step on its own.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
He's out now. Enjoying second Saturday with me. Struggles on Sunday nights with some feelings around it all, it's hard to unplug 30 years of programming.
Wow. That escalated quickly.
And thank God for that. 5 years after my shelf fell.

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