What if I just don't like weddings?

[Enoch Witty]

I hate weddings, I hate funerals, I hate graduations. Basically, any event that is a long, drawn out affair that is really only important to one or two people I view as a huge, boring waste of time. Not that I'm not happy for the person/event in question; I just don't want to be there or participate. Can I just send a gift?

I'm not hypocritical about this. I skipped all my graduations but one, which I attended only because my family insisted. I would have happily eloped with no family or friends in attendance. And my only feelings about my funeral are that it be done as inexpensively as possible, for my family's sake.

To that end, the part of leaving Mormon-dom that people often lament, namely not being able to attend family weddings in the temple, seems to me to be a bit of a perk. Who's with me?

[Enoch Witty]

I'll add that I might feel differently when it's my child's wedding. I could see that hurting, but I'm hoping it will never come up.

[aerin]

Weddings and funerals are community events (cue the sunrise sunset song). They're touchstones to build relationships. So depending on the person and the relationship, it can be important to to attend. Siblings. Parents. Children.

It depends, of course, on how much it costs. If someone gets married in Hawaii or Australia, for example, that can be very expensive.

So spending a bunch of money to go to a random relative or not close friend's wedding, may not be as important. I know plenty of people who don't like weddings, but will go to the reception (if it's a party). As long as you can build/feel part of a community outside of the events, that's what matters.

[Enoch Witty]

I understand the community aspect, and I do attend these types of events when it's financially/logistically feasible (not graduations. Never graduations.) But from my perspective, my graduation was only for me, and my wedding was only for my wife and me. I didn't mind that people wanted to be there, but I didn't care in the least whether or not they were.

[Red Ryder]

I'm with you.

Mostly for the long drawn out events where my time could be spent doing something else.

The temple wedding thing has become so far from normal in my mind the longer I've been mentally out.

Your OWN parents can't be there if unworthy. Your OWN brothers and sisters can't be there if not endowed. Your OWN mother might be pregnant at your wedding. Your OWN dress needs to have sleeve extensions. You don't commit to each other, but rather the church.

You say a few words, suffer through the rest of the ceremony, and suddenly God doesn't care if you stick your penis in her vagina.

Mormon temple weddings are just as weird as the doctrine.

[wtfluff]

I'll add that I might feel differently when it's my child's wedding. I could see that hurting, but I'm hoping it will never come up.

This...

I agree about "everyone else's" weddings though. The last niece/nephew "wedding" I missed (because I'm unworthy ya know) someone asked if I was going, and I simply said no, I'm not really invited. (Under my breath, I was saying: And weddings suck.)

[document]

My business makes about half of its money from weddings and funerals.

So, I think as a business man I'm supposed to say....weddings and funerals are AMAZING!

Remember, don't skimp on the organist!

( This post is in jest )

[Enoch Witty]

My business makes about half of its money from weddings and funerals.

So, I think as a business man I'm supposed to say....weddings and funerals are AMAZING!

Remember, don't skimp on the organist!

( This post is in jest )

As an organist/pianist, I agree wholeheartedly... not that I have ever been compensated for my efforts, because TSCC.

[Vlad the Emailer]

I understand the community aspect, and I do attend these types of events when it's financially/logistically feasible (not graduations. Never graduations.)

That one is funny and certainly applies to me. I skipped high school graduation because I thought getting the gown and going through the process just seemed like a bunch of nonsense to me. I was no less graduated because I didn't go.

I had only one college graduation (big mistake...should have gone back for grad school and PhD, but that's a whole other lamentation ) and I did go to that graduation, but ONLY because I didn't go to my HS graduation. What a waste of a day!

But back to the original point, other than those for your closest relatives, not being able to attend Mormon weddings is a net positive.

But speaking of that, how is the Mormon wedding thing anything more than a huge shelf weight? I mean, seriously, how is it anything more than another shakedown like tithing settlement? If this glorious sealing were what it is presented as, a very spiritual and sacred ceremony, eternally uniting two people (and family if kids are to be sealed to the couple), it would look like that. Attended by very few people beyond the couple getting married. But what is it instead? A wedding, where the bride wears her white wedding dress (not just her white temple clothes) because, after all, this is the only wedding she gets! So it's the only wedding, and we want so many people to attend we don't even require temple whites....we just require temple recommends....and what do those require?? Yip, you got it, ...tithing! Very often the biggest (and often ONLY) stickler holding many people back from getting a recommend. But if ya wanna go to dear daughter's wedding, Brother Les Active, well humble yourself and whip that checkbook out!!! Or fine, don't be humble, just get the fetchin' checkbook!

[Ghost]

I'm also not a fan of such events. I skipped my college graduation, and a temple wedding ceremony worked out well for me because we could just do it on some random evening without inviting anyone beyond immediate family (which is what we did, since my wife felt the same way about formalities).

I'm sure some people get a lot out of elaborate rituals and shows of social support, though, and that's fine.

[Korihor]

I usually don't like them when they attempt to be formal. Just have a party and move on.

BTW - Enoch, i really want to meet you and buy you a beverage if your choice.

[Enoch Witty]

I usually don't like them when they attempt to be formal. Just have a party and move on.

BTW - Enoch, i really want to meet you and buy you a beverage if your choice.

That sounds great! Unfortunately, I'm in Florida, but we'll make it a long-term goal.

[Korihor]

I usually don't like them when they attempt to be formal. Just have a party and move on.

BTW - Enoch, i really want to meet you and buy you a beverage if your choice.

That sounds great! Unfortunately, I'm in Florida, but we'll make it a long-term goal.

I make it to Florida infrequently. Hopefully you're near the Orlando area.

[Enoch Witty]

Alas, about four hours away, but there's always a chance we converge at Disney World.