Going Well with DW

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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Deepthinker
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 1:40 pm

Going Well with DW

Post by Deepthinker » Tue Nov 01, 2016 4:22 pm

Just wanted to post an update about how things are in the DT household right now. Church stress level is fairly low for me (part of this might be because of the new NOM site). I think for the most part it is because I’ve opened up more to DW. She now knows that one of the main reasons I stay active in the church is for her and our kids. I’ve opened up more about how I feel about church. When she said I can just choose to believe, I told her that I can’t believe in the things that I’ve found are provably false, such as the BoM and BoA being historical documents. I also made sure I told her the things I do still believe in, and told her I would bear my testimony this fast Sunday.

Since she got through the initial hurt of hearing all this from me, we’ve been communicating more and spending more time together. We show more interest in each other, and support each other better than I think we ever have. I feel like we are both in a good place right now. I just hope this continues.

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hiding in plain sight
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:38 am

Re: Going Well with DW

Post by hiding in plain sight » Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:02 pm

Deepthinker wrote:Just wanted to post an update about how things are in the DT household right now. Church stress level is fairly low for me (part of this might be because of the new NOM site). I think for the most part it is because I’ve opened up more to DW. She now knows that one of the main reasons I stay active in the church is for her and our kids. I’ve opened up more about how I feel about church. When she said I can just choose to believe, I told her that I can’t believe in the things that I’ve found are provably false, such as the BoM and BoA being historical documents. I also made sure I told her the things I do still believe in, and told her I would bear my testimony this fast Sunday.

Since she got through the initial hurt of hearing all this from me, we’ve been communicating more and spending more time together. We show more interest in each other, and support each other better than I think we ever have. I feel like we are both in a good place right now. I just hope this continues.
Congratulations.

I hope it continues as well for both of you. I love it when I hear stories about people who have been unable to untangle the church from their marriages.

I found that when I shared things that I still believe in with my TBM wife, that it gave her more space acknowledge that there are things that I no longer believe in as well.

Great story.

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Hagoth
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Going Well with DW

Post by Hagoth » Tue Nov 01, 2016 6:42 pm

Great to hear DT. It's interesting what a fine line we must walk between rejoicing about progress and remaining flexible in anticipation of the occasional speed bump or unexpected turn. Good luck with everything going forward.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Batman
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:24 pm

Re: Going Well with DW

Post by Batman » Wed Nov 02, 2016 8:45 am

Great news!
I hope that it continues and things can go smoothly for you.
It is nice to hear when things are going well for couples in our situation.

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MalcolmVillager
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Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:01 pm

Re: Going Well with DW

Post by MalcolmVillager » Thu Nov 03, 2016 9:43 am

That is good. It is a tricky tightrope. Some spouses just follow along, while others dig in their heels.

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