do I want to catch the monkey?

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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redjay
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by redjay »

Red Ryder wrote: Thu Feb 28, 2019 7:56 pm
“redjay” wrote:Her garments came off last week.
Praise Be!

Sounds like you two have a lot of life ahead of you!

May you build new friendships, find new adventures, and explore new positions (in life perverts)!
Thanks Red!
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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RubinHighlander
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by RubinHighlander »

redjay wrote: Thu Feb 28, 2019 5:00 pm Seems we two monkeys have jumped off the boat of stale crackers and are swimming together towards the shore.
Dude! Virtual bro hug, high five, fist bump!

Your road to greater happiness seems to be smoothing out with an increased speed limit. Congrats!
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
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jfro18
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by jfro18 »

This is amazing -- congrats.

I know it's not something you necessarily want to celebrate, but it's great that you can now navigate this whole thing together.

And no reason to feel bad for those of us still going through it -- it's always great to see the happy endings to hold on to hope. :lol:
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MalcolmVillager
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by MalcolmVillager »

Congrats and condolences. This is all hard stuff. But ray better when you are on the same page.

Recently my DW had started to really hit the angry phase (after many years of my quiet FC before her). Last night she was ranting, big time. She said she wishes something would just piss her off so we can leave. That sounds exciting.

However, it just isnt that simple. We are not in your same situation Redjay. We are in the MorCor. All our kids are in (but younger than yours, all still in the home). Our entire social lives, and more importantly, those of our daughters are all in, TBM circles. Leaving would have drastic consequences for them.

And then there is the extended family. We cant even talk about edgy stuff without a fight, let alone live it.

We also have some friends who have left and have been burned pretty badly by their new found freedoms. I have to be honest in saying that as a human, I am susceptible to the dangers of not having commandments. The last thing I want to do is bring sadness to our family due to addiction, infidelity, or financial risks that compliance with church standards would mostly avoid.

This is great news though Redjay. Keep us posted as this progresses.
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redjay
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by redjay »

Thanks everyone :D

I'll keep you updated!
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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græy
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by græy »

I don't watch the mixed faith threads as closely as I should. Congratulations redjay! Now go, love your wife and live your life!
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack
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redjay
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by redjay »

Update. Mrs RJ has been listening to Mormon Stories on her daily commute and is appalled at the prevarication and cultishness of the church. Last night we were discussing what a reasonable and lovely person Sandra Tanner seems to be...changed days indeed.
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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redjay
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by redjay »

Update. Teenage daughter went on church trip in the summer, came back and decided she was done. That's the last of the six of us out. I pop on here once every few weeks just to see the headlines. Take care all
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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græy
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by græy »

Congrats Redjay! Good to see you around occasionally!
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack
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Emower
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by Emower »

Love to hear this. Thanks for popping in!
MalcolmVillager wrote: Sat Mar 02, 2019 9:06 am Recently my DW had started to really hit the angry phase (after many years of my quiet FC before her). Last night she was ranting, big time. She said she wishes something would just piss her off so we can leave. That sounds exciting.
Lets have an update from TheVillage!
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MalcolmVillager
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by MalcolmVillager »

Haha, back to the slow grind. We are both mentally out but the kids and community make it complicated. She hasn't had a TR in a year and keeps saying maybe she should get one. Mine runs out in 3 months. I have no desire to go back, but not sure I want to be excluded from family stuff either.

Slow fade. Our terms. Not going drinking or anything like that anytime soon. She knows I drink coffee, she hate it herself but drinks green tea as of the recent clarification just to break rules.

We are pretty lame and boring anyway.
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Red Ryder
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by Red Ryder »

MalcolmVillager wrote: Wed Oct 30, 2019 9:53 pm Haha, back to the slow grind. We are both mentally out but the kids and community make it complicated. She hasn't had a TR in a year and keeps saying maybe she should get one. Mine runs out in 3 months. I have no desire to go back, but not sure I want to be excluded from family stuff either.

Slow fade. Our terms. Not going drinking or anything like that anytime soon. She knows I drink coffee, she hate it herself but drinks green tea as of the recent clarification just to break rules.

We are pretty lame and boring anyway.
More importantly, when are you going to be flying south for another visit?
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MalcolmVillager
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by MalcolmVillager »

[/quote]
More importantly, when are you going to be flying south for another visit?
[/quote]

I know right?!!

We are not doing as much business with that vendor so IDK if work will take me down anytime soon. Maybe a personal trip is in order. The cold is really making me crave some AZ weather!
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Raylan Givens
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by Raylan Givens »

Wow. This brought up feelings. My shelf crashed years before My wife’s. Her heavy shelf item wasn’t about the Church being true. It was about God in general. Very different than mine. She then moved onto the Church and is surgically dissecting it.

She is now resigned. She decided one day, and just did it. This is something I am struggling with deciding to do. DW asked me this week if I would resign. I am still holding back...the feelings are tender.

Mrs Givens is also becoming more vocal on social media. It is stirring some pots in my family.

I think nature will take its course. Just be your kind self.
"Ah, you know, I think you use the Bible to do whatever the hell you like" - Raylan Givens
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redjay
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by redjay »

Raylan Givens wrote: Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:47 pm Wow. This brought up feelings. My shelf crashed years before My wife’s. Her heavy shelf item wasn’t about the Church being true. It was about God in general. Very different than mine. She then moved onto the Church and is surgically dissecting it.

She is now resigned. She decided one day, and just did it. This is something I am struggling with deciding to do. DW asked me this week if I would resign. I am still holding back...the feelings are tender.

Mrs Givens is also becoming more vocal on social media. It is stirring some pots in my family.

I think nature will take its course. Just be your kind self.
Hi Rylan - I don't come by here that often , I'm pretty much "processed out". And all of my family (immediate) is out. Looking back I see the church as net loss in terms of pretty much everything. But. I'm glad me and mrs redjay got out when we did (late 40's) and and still have a good portion of life ahead of us. How are you and yours?
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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redjay
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Re: do I want to catch the monkey?

Post by redjay »

Raylan Givens wrote: Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:47 pm Wow. This brought up feelings. My shelf crashed years before My wife’s. Her heavy shelf item wasn’t about the Church being true. It was about God in general. Very different than mine. She then moved onto the Church and is surgically dissecting it.

She is now resigned. She decided one day, and just did it. This is something I am struggling with deciding to do. DW asked me this week if I would resign. I am still holding back...the feelings are tender.

Mrs Givens is also becoming more vocal on social media. It is stirring some pots in my family.

I think nature will take its course. Just be your kind self.
Hi Rylan - I don't come by here that often , I'm pretty much "processed out". And all of my family (immediate) is out. Looking back I see the church as net loss in terms of pretty much everything. But. I'm glad me and mrs redjay got out when we did (late 40's) and and still have a good portion of life ahead of us. How are you and yours?
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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