Spouseman

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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Thoughtful
Posts: 792
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:54 pm

Spouseman

Post by Thoughtful » Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:13 pm

I told Spouseman in the shower this morning that I was thinking of trying some other churches to find some community and service opportunities. Thinking of trying out UU even if it's a drive, etc.

He mentioned that the stake presidency he is in has only a few months left, and that he intends to fade out when they do the changeover. I do not doubt that the first counselor will be the new SP and he is a maniac of the RMN kind, protects pedophiles and is a nice guy up front but a conniving power hungry, narcissist at his core. Spouseman knew counselor's wife before they were married and saw how her personality was beaten out of her (not literally, I hope) when she started dating him. She's now a perfect little molly mormon wife and he won't let her get a job or do anything other than stepford around.

Did you hear that? Spouseman wants to fade out.

I bought a coffee maker on Amazon. We've been playing around with alcohol on weekends. I haven't paid tithing in nearly a year. For the first time in my life (and not just cuz alcohol), I feel RELAXED when I am not working. I don't have a zillion things I should be doing every time I sit down that will never end. I can enjoy my kids and laugh if they tell an off color but hilarious joke. I don't have to wake my kids up for seminary. I don't have to make my kids go to church, or to "interviews" to decide if they are "worthy". I choose clothes that look good on my body and feel good on my skin, no matter what they cover or don't.

It is such a relief. I am so happy spending Sundays sleeping in, puttering around the yard, and then doing fun activities with my children. Incidentally my children are growing up. They will never be small again, ever. Even if the resurrection is real, they will not be babies, toddlers, children, or teenagers ever again. I want to enjoy them NOW as they are, instead of assuming we have plenty of time in eternity to make up for all the hours spent cleaning the church or driving to the temple or watching the damned temple video.

I didn't think he would come around this fast, but I think Sam Young was a contributing factor.

Reuben
Posts: 799
Joined: Sat Oct 28, 2017 3:01 pm

Re: Spouseman

Post by Reuben » Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:43 pm

Exciting times!

Do you have a plan for handling the in-laws?

Has the church ever been a good fit for you?

Thoughtful
Posts: 792
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:54 pm

Re: Spouseman

Post by Thoughtful » Fri Aug 31, 2018 9:12 pm

Reuben wrote:
Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:43 pm
Exciting times!

Do you have a plan for handling the in-laws?

Has the church ever been a good fit for you?
I was awesome at churching, and it really worked for me for a long time. But the patriarchy cracked my shelf over and over again, from the time I was in about first grade, I had a shelf. I think if one specific event hadn't happened, my shelf might not have fallen at all. We fasted for something we needed and a solution came up right away, almost immediately. We trusted it was an answer from God even though some things felt off about it and it didn't feel logical, but it was a solution and we had no solution before that--it ended up being a devastating mistake that still years later we are dealing with the results of that bad decision. So that was the tipping point that got me really diving into trying to understand and down the rabbit hole I went. In hindsight, I see a lot of damage from the patriarchy, church history, and the church on me and my kids. Spouseman--I think it was a net positive for him for a long time. Now that he's seeing the writing on the wall for his daughters, and the pedo relative being protected by family and church...I think he's seeing that the church can be good for heteronormative white men that fit into the system but on everyone else's expense.

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Linked
Posts: 781
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:04 pm

Re: Spouseman

Post by Linked » Sat Sep 01, 2018 12:16 pm

That is awesome!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats Thoughtful!

It sounds like you are a couple months from really being able to put the mormon church behind you and discover/create life unfettered.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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