Wife Coming Around A Bit?

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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Linked
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Wife Coming Around A Bit?

Post by Linked » Mon Dec 19, 2016 1:44 pm

I think my wife may be coming around a little! Probably not joining me in my apostasy, but not hurting over it so much. Sunday 12/11 was Stake Conference which we skip with our young children. The day was awful. We sat around and did nothing and the kids started getting grumpy and my wife and I felt like the day was wasted. It's tough when you are still following sabbath rules but have no church to attend.

Fast forward to yesterday, I brought up to my wife that the Stake Conference day sucked, and that for future skipped stake conferences we should plan something to do. Then I slipped in "or any day you feel like skipping church". And she didn't even look sad! She playfully hit me, but no tears, no sad eyes, no fighting. If I said that 6 months ago we wouldn't have spoken for the rest of the day. And our relationship is generally better too. Things are looking up in the Linked household, today anyway.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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MoPag
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Re: Wife Coming Around A Bit?

Post by MoPag » Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:40 pm

That's wonderful news Linked!

I was going to write that stake conference really sucks when you have little kids. But really, it sucks with or without children.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

Korihor
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Re: Wife Coming Around A Bit?

Post by Korihor » Tue Dec 20, 2016 10:48 am

Congrats!
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.

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MalcolmVillager
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Re: Wife Coming Around A Bit?

Post by MalcolmVillager » Tue Dec 20, 2016 8:51 pm

Congrats. DW is making progress too. It is still all about culture, family, and Community for her! She is taking baby steps though. We went to the new Church History Museum and saw the changes with polygamy, the Expositor, and seer stones. She mentioned that we should bring the children and introduce them to these sticky topics.

On the way home, we listened to a podcast about Mormonism and out. She loved it, and agreed with all of it. Even stating at one point that she felt the spirit of the truthfulness of that podcast.

She says she hasn't heard me say anything that she doesn't agree with, although that isn't true. I was starting to get pretty excited, and then she said "If you try to leave the church it would absolutely break my heart and destroy me."

That brought me back to reality very quickly. Baby steps I guess!

We had SC this month too and although we didn't skip Sunday, we did the adult and PH sessions. She probably would have skipped but the kids are old enough to push us to church each week and I didn't want to push too hard.

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Deepthinker
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Re: Wife Coming Around A Bit?

Post by Deepthinker » Wed Dec 21, 2016 8:40 am

Congrats Linked! Its definitely been baby steps with my wife.

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Linked
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Re: Wife Coming Around A Bit?

Post by Linked » Wed Dec 21, 2016 2:20 pm

Thanks for the well wishes! It has been great. I've been operating in crisis mode for so long that I am having to re-figure out how to live with my family without the crisis. I am confident we can figure that out.
MalcolmVillager wrote:Congrats. DW is making progress too. It is still all about culture, family, and Community for her! She is taking baby steps though. We went to the new Church History Museum and saw the changes with polygamy, the Expositor, and seer stones. She mentioned that we should bring the children and introduce them to these sticky topics.

On the way home, we listened to a podcast about Mormonism and out. She loved it, and agreed with all of it. Even stating at one point that she felt the spirit of the truthfulness of that podcast.

She says she hasn't heard me say anything that she doesn't agree with, although that isn't true. I was starting to get pretty excited, and then she said "If you try to leave the church it would absolutely break my heart and destroy me."

That brought me back to reality very quickly. Baby steps I guess!

We had SC this month too and although we didn't skip Sunday, we did the adult and PH sessions. She probably would have skipped but the kids are old enough to push us to church each week and I didn't want to push too hard.
That's great MV! I'm glad to hear that your wife is getting more open to your new beliefs. This whole experience has given me a new appreciation for being patient when dealing with people and their worldview, you just can't rush it, but every now and then people surprise you with a new point of view they have.
MoPag wrote:That's wonderful news Linked!

I was going to write that stake conference really sucks when you have little kids. But really, it sucks with or without children.
Thanks! Even as a TBM I don't think I would have taken my little kids to SC, it just makes no sense. It's like torture for everyone involved. Adult, childless, TBM Linked enjoyed SC for the slightly better correlated talks and more experienced speakers, but today I would be fuming if I went.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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