What to get my wife for Christmas?

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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deacon blues
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What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by deacon blues » Wed Dec 21, 2016 8:28 am

I know, it sounds like a lame post. :roll: I already have a couple of items, but I was looking for a book that might help us understand our faith differences better. My wife is already very understanding, so I'm OK, but is there a book anyone knows of that addresses faith differences in a marriage without trying to change anyone's beliefs?
God is Love. God is Truth. The greatest problem with organized religion is that the organization becomes god, rather than a means of serving God.

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Deepthinker
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by Deepthinker » Wed Dec 21, 2016 8:36 am

There is one book I've thought about getting for my wife and I, but I don't think she is open to reading it right now:

https://www.amazon.com/Faith-Doubt-Reli ... 0814433723

One of the focuses of the book is that it breaks down the differences between values and beliefs. Common values should be the basis for our closest relationships, and not common beliefs.

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wtfluff
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by wtfluff » Wed Dec 21, 2016 1:39 pm

I was gonna tell you to get her a 60" (or bigger) Flat-Screen, but then I read the post and you're just looking for book suggestions.

So... I got nothing.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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Red Ryder
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Dec 21, 2016 2:04 pm

I'm not the guy to ask because my faith crisis is a foreign concept just as confusing as Jihad for my wife.

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Linked
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by Linked » Wed Dec 21, 2016 2:12 pm

"She Comes First"?
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

Korihor
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by Korihor » Wed Dec 21, 2016 3:48 pm

Linked wrote:"She Comes First"?
+1

Regarding books, I have a suggestion. Mrs Kori actually bought this for herself a while back and seems to like it. "The Happiness Trap"

Not to threadjack, but here is what I got my wife:
(Background info - wife and kids are already in Utah, so I have the house alone for 6 days)

Installed a new kitchen faucet. Found it on Amazon for a great price, just the kind she wanted.
Installed a new shower head in the shower. She's mentioned a few times that she wants to change what we have.
Built/installed shelving in the shed. She mentioned this one several time during the year that she wants some shelves
Had the carpet cleaners come yesterday. This was an an explicit gift request. NOTE, we don't have a lot of carpet, mostly concrete floors because Arizona.
Found a cleaning service person to clean the house 1/month for the year to give her a break from the household chores (she's been going crazy)
A new cell phone. She has been complaining about her phone for a while. It's on the fritz. Verizon had a "sale" and I fell for it.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.

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glass shelf
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by glass shelf » Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:25 pm

I'm going to suggest not buying a gift as loaded as that unless your wife has explicitly requested it.

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Raylan Givens
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by Raylan Givens » Wed Dec 21, 2016 10:43 pm

glass shelf wrote:I'm going to suggest not buying a gift as loaded as that unless your wife has explicitly requested it.
Si

Maybe a nice book by Paulo Coelho? See if she recognizes themes from Conference, I sure do...
"Ah, you know, I think you use the Bible to do whatever the hell you like" - Raylan Givens

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MrsGeorgeMiller
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by MrsGeorgeMiller » Thu Dec 22, 2016 8:02 am

It's not a book about marriage per se, but it is one of the definitive books George and I read and reread when we want to better communicate with and understand each other (and other people) better. It has been a total game changer for our marriage as well as our relationships with our LDS and Non-LDS families!

Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning. James Fowler.
"It is the greatest honor in life to bear witness to the breadth and depth of the human spirit." ~ Me

"Some people are rods, and some people are liahonas." ~ Unknown

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Newme
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by Newme » Thu Dec 22, 2016 3:39 pm

A few ideas... all of which are not lds nor "anti."

-The Anatomy of Peace - From Arbinger Institute. My very TBM sister suggested this one - and it is good - shows how people limit themselves spiritually by putting themselves and others in belief boxes.
-The Power of Now, Toelle - explains how God is not some future (latter day) thing - but now present tense I AM THAT I AM.
-Jonathan Livingston Seagull, written by Richard Bach - explains kind of many of our paths to realizing group thought is not necessarily true thought.
-The Road Less Travelled - Peck (maybe include the chart of peck and Fowler's stages of faith)

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deacon blues
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by deacon blues » Thu Dec 22, 2016 7:50 pm

Korihor wrote:
Linked wrote:"She Comes First"?
+1

Regarding books, I have a suggestion. Mrs Kori actually bought this for herself a while back and seems to like it. "The Happiness Trap"

Not to threadjack, but here is what I got my wife:
(Background info - wife and kids are already in Utah, so I have the house alone for 6 days)

Installed a new kitchen faucet. Found it on Amazon for a great price, just the kind she wanted.
Installed a new shower head in the shower. She's mentioned a few times that she wants to change what we have.
Built/installed shelving in the shed. She mentioned this one several time during the year that she wants some shelves
Had the carpet cleaners come yesterday. This was an an explicit gift request. NOTE, we don't have a lot of carpet, mostly concrete floors because Arizona.
Found a cleaning service person to clean the house 1/month for the year to give her a break from the household chores (she's been going crazy)
A new cell phone. She has been complaining about her phone for a while. It's on the fritz. Verizon had a "sale" and I fell for it.
Korihor, you are brilliant. :D I have heard of a book called "When Mormons Doubt." i have yet to get it but it might be what I'm looking for. Merry Whatever everyone. :)
God is Love. God is Truth. The greatest problem with organized religion is that the organization becomes god, rather than a means of serving God.

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trophywife26.2
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by trophywife26.2 » Thu Dec 22, 2016 8:02 pm

This one could be good for both of you to read. You could buy two copies and do it as like a couples book club read it and discuss it. Merry Christmas! https://www.amazon.com/Righteous-Mind-D ... 0307455777
Even if it's something disappointing, it's still better to know the truth. Because people can deal with disappointment. And once they've done that, they can feel that they have really grown. And that can be such a good feeling. -Fred Rogers

Korihor
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Re: What to get my wife for Christmas?

Post by Korihor » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:07 am

FOLLOW UP - Mrs Kori and I read part of this book together - The Happiness Trap.

I highly recommend it. It has some good unintentional shelf weights although it has nothing to do with mormonism. A devout TBM wouldn't catch the shelf items, but someone who is a bit more attune might get loaded up.

That being said, it's just a good book so far. Makes you think about stuff.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.

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