More than one way to Marry

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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Angel
Posts: 303
Joined: Thu May 31, 2018 8:26 am

More than one way to Marry

Post by Angel » Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:56 pm

Reading through old posts, remembering one thing that saved my marriage and sanity, was re-defining what "marriage" was, seeing DH as a roommate, as an old friend, and no longer defining them in my mind as a "husband". I took off wedding ring, found a new way to approach and think through the whole relashionship, and it worked! Having a BFF roommate seems to be much better than having a husband. Just a thought.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Red Ryder
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Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: More than one way to Marry

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Apr 28, 2021 11:17 am

Angel wrote:
Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:56 pm
Reading through old posts, remembering one thing that saved my marriage and sanity, was re-defining what "marriage" was, seeing DH as a roommate, as an old friend, and no longer defining them in my mind as a "husband". I took off wedding ring, found a new way to approach and think through the whole relashionship, and it worked! Having a BFF roommate seems to be much better than having a husband. Just a thought.
I had a friend that actually got divorced but never moved out for various reasons. They got along and had a great relationship. He also reported their sex life was better which he said was odd, because they weren’t having sex as a married couple. I asked why he thought the relationship was better and all he could come up with was “either of us can get up and leave at anytime....”
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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Angel
Posts: 303
Joined: Thu May 31, 2018 8:26 am

Re: More than one way to Marry

Post by Angel » Mon May 03, 2021 4:00 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
... I asked why he thought the relationship was better and all he could come up with was “either of us can get up and leave at anytime....”
Sometimes we do things out of obligation, or responsibility, and I agree it's good to be dependable, honorable.

Other things we do voluntarily- if you had free time, free to do anything you wanted, and it is the thing you choose.

I know marriage is supposed to be a choice, it starts as a choice...
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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