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More than one way to Marry

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:56 pm
by Angel
Reading through old posts, remembering one thing that saved my marriage and sanity, was re-defining what "marriage" was, seeing DH as a roommate, as an old friend, and no longer defining them in my mind as a "husband". I took off wedding ring, found a new way to approach and think through the whole relashionship, and it worked! Having a BFF roommate seems to be much better than having a husband. Just a thought.

Re: More than one way to Marry

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 11:17 am
by Red Ryder
Angel wrote:
Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:56 pm
Reading through old posts, remembering one thing that saved my marriage and sanity, was re-defining what "marriage" was, seeing DH as a roommate, as an old friend, and no longer defining them in my mind as a "husband". I took off wedding ring, found a new way to approach and think through the whole relashionship, and it worked! Having a BFF roommate seems to be much better than having a husband. Just a thought.
I had a friend that actually got divorced but never moved out for various reasons. They got along and had a great relationship. He also reported their sex life was better which he said was odd, because they weren’t having sex as a married couple. I asked why he thought the relationship was better and all he could come up with was “either of us can get up and leave at anytime....”

Re: More than one way to Marry

Posted: Mon May 03, 2021 4:00 pm
by Angel
Red Ryder wrote:
... I asked why he thought the relationship was better and all he could come up with was “either of us can get up and leave at anytime....”
Sometimes we do things out of obligation, or responsibility, and I agree it's good to be dependable, honorable.

Other things we do voluntarily- if you had free time, free to do anything you wanted, and it is the thing you choose.

I know marriage is supposed to be a choice, it starts as a choice...

Re: More than one way to Marry

Posted: Fri May 14, 2021 3:37 pm
by deacon blues
As sung by Frank Sinatra-

Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage.
This I tell ya, brother, you can't have one without the other.

Love and marriage, love and marriage,
It's an institute you can't disparage.
Ask the local gentry and they will say it's elementary.

Try, try, try to separate them, it's an illusion.
Try, try, try and you only come to this conclusion:

Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage.
Dad was told by mother you can't have one
You can't have none.
You can't have one without the other.

[Musical interlude]

Try, try, try to separate them, it's an illusion.
Try, try, try and you only come to this conclusion:

Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage.
Dad was told by mother you can't have one
(You can't have none.)
You can't have one without the other.

I'm not saying this is 100% true. I'm just trying to add a different perspective. :D

Re: More than one way to Marry

Posted: Fri May 14, 2021 3:50 pm
by deacon blues
I'll add another thing. When I was a teenager my parents were going through a rough patch. My Dad had run farm land owned by his father in law (my Grandpa) for 25 years. Dad even thought they had an understanding that he would buy or inherit it. Then my Grandpa decided to change the arrangement. This put my Mom in the middle of a big argument between Dad and Grandpa. Mom and Dad were having frequent arguments, and it bothered me. One morning my Mom woke me up at 5:30 and said "your Dad needs to talk to you about something important." I was sure they were going to tell me they divorcing. :cry: Instead, Dad said "Boyd, we are going to have to give up farming "Up the Creek." (Grandpa's Land.)

I remember a huge feeling of relief when I realized they weren't getting divorced! :)