NOM

My TBM mom mentioned that she noticed how one of my sons would reach out and we would hold hands all the time on a recent trip. She said it made her happy to see us bonding and that she thought I was a good dad.

It was a really simple thing to say, but it meant a lot to hear that from my mom. Just love, no judgement or pushing me to be someone I'm not. I'm lucky to have her.

That sounds like a beautiful moment! These family connections and parent-child bonds are very human and natural and wonderful. It's horrible how the church hijacks them and claims sole proprietorship over family ties. It's great that your mom is seeing past the Mormon lens to what is actually there in your relationship with your son.

Thanks Sparky, it was a nice moment. It's tough when nothing is said and my fears fill in the blanks, so to hear something positive is so reassuring.

Another nice thing happened recently.

I was at a family get together with my side of the family and my parents, siblings, and spouses were all chatting together. My sister mentioned something nice that had happened and phrased it as a "tender mercy" after pausing for a bit to find the right word. I hate that phrase and apparently eyerolled pretty hard . The conversation stopped and everyone stared at me and a couple people asked me what was wrong, why was I so down on tender mercies?

I explained that I really didn't like that word because from my perspective it is made to make everyday things into miracles which can lead people to incorrect conclusions. My Sis-in-law said "Oh, yeah that bugs [her husband/my brother in the bishopric] too." My sister sincerely asked, "What am I supposed to say instead?" I suggested "something nice" or similar.

Later I was talking to my other sister and she commented that she was impressed with how I respectfully maintain my boundaries while giving others space to feel differently. Then we talked politics

It was really nice.