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Advent with Extended Family

Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2022 10:58 am
by Linked
My family had our annual advent gathering recently. It was a rollercoaster.

Good:
- Singing Christmas songs together
- Sharing a few gifts
- Reinforcing our connection

Bad:
- The story of how at the school Christmas concert the arrangement of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" was so powerful because they had an over-the-top emphasis on the phrase "God is not dead". We had just finished singing it at my suggestion because it has a message we can all agree on, peace on earth good will to man.
- My sister's defense of toxic positivity. At least my niece could see the problem.

¯\(°_o)/¯:
- When they called me back in to sing "Lead Kindly Light" with my dad. It was touching to sing together, but it's hard not to read into things like that as attempts to save me from myself.

Weird:
- My brother's excitement at creating a year-end report for himself on his level of righteousness.

Re: Advent with Extended Family

Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2022 12:36 pm
by alas
Linked wrote:
Tue Dec 20, 2022 10:58 am
My family had our annual advent gathering recently. It was a rollercoaster.

Good:
- Singing Christmas songs together
- Sharing a few gifts
- Reinforcing our connection

Bad:
- The story of how at the school Christmas concert the arrangement of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" was so powerful because they had an over-the-top emphasis on the phrase "God is not dead". We had just finished singing it at my suggestion because it has a message we can all agree on, peace on earth good will to man.
- My sister's defense of toxic positivity. At least my niece could see the problem.

¯\(°_o)/¯:
- When they called me back in to sing "Lead Kindly Light" with my dad. It was touching to sing together, but it's hard not to read into things like that as attempts to save me from myself.

Weird:
- My brother's excitement at creating a year-end report for himself on his level of righteousness.
Other than so many people being out sick, and some of those are really serious, my family’s report.

Good:
- My son and DIL and family are no longer TBM, but I don’t push to see how far out they are.
- granddaughter is comfortable with who she is as LGBT and standing up to her manipulative and abusive father.
- laughing and teasing together
- exchanging a few gifts

Bad:
- my husband is distressed because none of his children or grandchildren are TBM. (I kept my happy dance to myself)
- problems with the step children unwilling to accept us as family
- strain of too many people in my daughter’s household.