Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
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Zack Tacorin Dos
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Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Post by Zack Tacorin Dos » Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:36 pm

[Deleted because of reasons.]

Best wishes,
Zack
Last edited by Zack Tacorin Dos on Sat May 18, 2019 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Newme
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Re: Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Post by Newme » Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:16 pm

I love it!
As I read that, it seemed to validate how I felt.
I've felt those things - but I haven't really put them in words like that.
And often, on some level, I've believed that I was wrong for seeking truth and others are right for clinging "to the rod."

BTW - Zack, you've helped my sanity more than you may know.
Often over the years, I'd sit in church, needing some proof that I wasn't the only one thinking as I did.
And I'd pull up NOM on my phone and read something you wrote - which was kind and empathic of TBMs, but also validating to NOMs.

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Vlad the Emailer
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Location: Lower Midwest

Re: Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Post by Vlad the Emailer » Mon Feb 13, 2017 2:47 pm

Newme wrote:
Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:16 pm
BTW - Zack, you've helped my sanity more than you may know.
Often over the years, I'd sit in church, needing some proof that I wasn't the only one thinking as I did.
And I'd pull up NOM on my phone and read something you wrote - which was kind and empathic of TBMs, but also validating to NOMs.
Same here. Thanks Zack and thanks for mentioning it, Newme.
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease being mistaken, or cease being honest. - Anonymous

Say what you want about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying. - Kurt Vonnegut

Galileo
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Re: Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Post by Galileo » Wed Jun 28, 2017 7:51 pm

Zack Tacorin Dos wrote:
Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:36 pm
AZFlyer wrote about how there seems to be a lot of pain here at NOM lately.
There is definitely a lot of pain that has to be dealt with when going through the whole faith-crisis thing. I remember going to church and all I could think about was suicide. I would plan the whole thing out in sacrament meeting. The NOM board was my only outlet - all my fellow NOMs were the only people I could talk to.

8 years later, things are 180 degrees different! I love life! Once you get through all the crap and emerge on the other side, there's an entire world to be enjoyed!

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Newme
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Re: Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Post by Newme » Tue Jul 04, 2017 12:04 am

Galileo wrote:
Wed Jun 28, 2017 7:51 pm
Zack Tacorin Dos wrote:
Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:36 pm
AZFlyer wrote about how there seems to be a lot of pain here at NOM lately.
There is definitely a lot of pain that has to be dealt with when going through the whole faith-crisis thing. I remember going to church and all I could think about was suicide. I would plan the whole thing out in sacrament meeting. The NOM board was my only outlet - all my fellow NOMs were the only people I could talk to.

8 years later, things are 180 degrees different! I love life! Once you get through all the crap and emerge on the other side, there's an entire world to be enjoyed!
Awesome!
I do think that pain is part of life - and at least partly, experience ideally increases ability to cope and come out a more intelligent, deeper and compassionate person. The challenge is to not be afraid of confronting pain. Ironically, the church creates pain (esp. shame) and yet discourages confronting it with the idea that "one will get closer to God by scriptures than by psychology." And yet psych-ology is "study of the soul" and is essential for peace and joy. Even Jesus taught to find God within, and to stop looking externally.

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dispirited
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Re: Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Post by dispirited » Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:23 pm

I used to go through extremely painful experiences by myself, not wanting to open up to my wife, not wanting to show my pain, or to be vulnerable. It was miserable, and hard, and I'm not sure I learned what I needed to from it. Then something happened where I went through one with my wife. It was still hard, but having someone to talk to, to discuss my feelings with, to be vulnerable with made all the difference in working through the pain and grief. After working through this together, when my questions and faith crisis came I could communicate what as was feeling with her more easily. I love that we went through some really hard experiences together, it prepared us to communicate better for my faith crisis.

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SeeNoEvil
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Re: Some Pain I've Experienced, But, Things are Better Now

Post by SeeNoEvil » Sun Aug 06, 2017 1:11 pm

Today I ventured into this area of posting for the first time and WOW! what amazing stuff! Zack your poem is tender and beautiful. Written from the heart. Finding an outlet for the pain is something I found vital to the journey. My first writings were very dark and painful and were necessary for me to heal. I am glad to hear things are much better. Thank you for sharing.
"Every event that has taken place in this universe has led you to this moment.
... The real question is, what will you do with this moment?" - Unknown

"Never arrive @ a point where you know everything - Korihor57

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