Life is hard

[BriansThoughtMirror]

As a TBM, I always visualized life as a hard thing that you need to "make it through". Maybe it was all the talk of enduring to the end? I would like to find a way now for life to be GOOD instead of something to just make it through. Maybe I'm starting to get there. For all I know, once you've made it through, that's all you get.

[Give It Time]

I've been dealing with similar. I finally came to the conclusion that my life is about on a par with everybody else's. The difference is I handle it alone. When we were married, my husband would take the brunt. I would help, but I never took the brunt, as I am now. It's completely different. More compassion for the guy, but still no excuse for abuse.

I recently heard that life is both beautiful and brutal. If you reject the brutal, you also reject the beautiful. So, the trick is to embrace the brutal and the beautiful, the brutiful, if you will.

[Anon70]

Life is beautiful, amazing, wonderful, delightful and awful. I am like Give it Time...maybe we can't recognize one without the other. I have lately focused on the minimal negative in my life rather than the abundant positive. I'm working to change my focus.

[Jinx]

Get rid of the extra baggage in your life that's bringing you down. For me that was the church. For some people that could be relationships with fair weather friends, or too much clutter in your house, or negative attitudes. I believe you only get one shot at life and I already wasted more than half of mine trying to do what some old men told me was right and trying to look perfect in front of the neighborhood. No more of that. It's time for me to be me and to find my own happiness.

[LostGirl]

I have heard it said multiple times across the pulpit recently that life should be a struggle and if it is not, you are doing it wrong. I reject that.
I see the struggle rhetoric as going hand in hand with the idea that "the adversary" is continually working on us.
I think we can save ourselves a lot of angst by not looking for trouble where there is none.

[RubinHighlander]

As a TBM, I always visualized life as a hard thing that you need to "make it through". Maybe it was all the talk of enduring to the end? I would like to find a way now for life to be GOOD instead of something to just make it through. Maybe I'm starting to get there. For all I know, once you've made it through, that's all you get.

Dude! Yes! Once you kick the angel and devil off your shoulder and just live your life it's so much better! Get rid of attributing every damn thing you do to a test or a blessing. Try to make every day awesome. Have a beer and some laughs with some friends and loved ones. No more guilt and fear of unknown forces. Be nice just because it feels good and helps humanity. That's it! Anyone preaching super secret sauce recipes for happiness in life needs to go away and stop burdening society!

[Emower]

As a TBM, I always visualized life as a hard thing that you need to "make it through". Maybe it was all the talk of enduring to the end? I would like to find a way now for life to be GOOD instead of something to just make it through. Maybe I'm starting to get there. For all I know, once you've made it through, that's all you get.

Dude! Yes! Once you kick the angel and devil off your shoulder and just live your life it's so much better! Get rid of attributing every damn thing you do to a test or a blessing. Try to make every day awesome. Have a beer and some laughs with some friends and loved ones. No more guilt and fear of unknown forces. Be nice just because it feels good and helps humanity. That's it! Anyone preaching super secret sauce recipes for happiness in life needs to go away and stop burdening society!

Yup. Letting go of the guilt has really improved my outlook on things. I think the burden never goes away though. Before, if life was sucking at the moment, it was probably due to you, but definitely Gods will and part of the plan. The thought that if life sucks right now it is all on you really isnt much easier to deal with. But it is simpler. And I am all about simpler.

[Corsair]

Would you like to know the actual reason for life's challenges? I'm not kidding. I know what it is and it has never been a real secret.

Here is the real reason for all of the pain in the world: You live on the crust of a slowly cooling planet with a radioactive core where the dominant form of life arose slowly and painfully by organic evolution. This takes place in a universe governed by weak gravity, slightly stronger electromagnetism, and stupidly strong subatomic forces. It's probably not as helpful as you were hoping, right?

Seriously, all problems in life eventually come down to constraints based on that initial setup. I'm not telling you that God does not exist. He could be, and hopefully IS, still there. But natural disasters are still going to happen because of gravity and plate tectonics. Disease and death still happen because of the complex interplay of self replicating molecules over four and half billion years. People come and go in your life because of minds that evolved over that time with so many strengths and flaws. All the goodness and wickedness today come down to those self-aware minds acting out what they foolishly hope is best for themselves and others.

What is in your life that can still bring joy to you? Is it a small group of wonderful people? Is it parents and friends? Can you find fulfillment in children and family? Are you blessed with a life partner that brings you joy? I hope you do. There is more than 13 billion known years of cosmic existence in only one of many possible universes. Despite the thin slice of time you are aware of existence, you somehow found yourself with a couple of good souls to spend this fleeting time. My mother left mortality in the past year and my siblings are now facing holidays without her and feeling pain over her absence. I'm so glad to have spent several decades with her, but she is gone now.

Let go of the guilt that some belief systems tried to awkwardly place upon your burden existence. Instead, fill your mortality with good people and have good experiences with them. The contraints of living on the thin edge of atmosphere between volcanic earth and empty sky will still be with you. But those good minds that bring you joy allow you to transcend the harsh contraints around you. It is hard and there is pain. We can only be there to bear one another's burden and thus take part in one another's joy.

[Red Ryder]

Here is the real reason for all of the pain in the world: You live on the crust of a slowly cooling planet with a radioactive core where the dominant form of life arose slowly and painfully by organic evolution. This takes place in a universe governed by weak gravity, slightly stronger electromagnetism, and stupidly strong subatomic forces. It's probably not as helpful as you were hoping, right?

Ahhhhh, Chips and Salsa with Corsair! You need to do a regular podcast!

[BriansThoughtMirror]

I have heard it said multiple times across the pulpit recently that life should be a struggle and if it is not, you are doing it wrong. I reject that.
I see the struggle rhetoric as going hand in hand with the idea that "the adversary" is continually working on us.
I think we can save ourselves a lot of angst by not looking for trouble where there is none.

Seriously! We create a lot of trouble for ourselves. I always imagined myself arriving at judgement all beaten up and bloodied, having done my best to "make it through", hoping to hear the old "well done" spiel and have Jesus pick me up off the floor. That was a powerful image to me as a TBM. Now I think I was beating myself up for no reason.

[BriansThoughtMirror]

Would you like to know the actual reason for life's challenges? I'm not kidding. I know what it is and it has never been a real secret.

Here is the real reason for all of the pain in the world: You live on the crust of a slowly cooling planet with a radioactive core where the dominant form of life arose slowly and painfully by organic evolution. This takes place in a universe governed by weak gravity, slightly stronger electromagnetism, and stupidly strong subatomic forces. It's probably not as helpful as you were hoping, right?

Haha, this explanation seems facetious, but it makes more sense to me than most others! Why do we suffer? Because, well, it's kind of an incredibly unlikely thing that we even exist in the first place. It would be even more incredibly unlikely that we would somehow exist under conditions that are optimal for a pleasant existence just for us! It doesn't make sense to expect life to be easy. But I do want to make the most of it instead of just slog through to the end!

BTW, all of you have given some great answers. Thank you!

[SeeNoEvil]

As a TBM, I always visualized life as a hard thing that you need to "make it through". Maybe it was all the talk of enduring to the end? I would like to find a way now for life to be GOOD instead of something to just make it through. Maybe I'm starting to get there. For all I know, once you've made it through, that's all you get.

Epictetus writes: “Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them.” Now hold that thought....

Leaving Mormonism does leave a huge gaping hole in our life. In my experience, just when I feel confident I have rid my brain of all thoughts Mormon, voices of the past echo in my brain telling me I have been sent here as part of the Mormon God's plan, "I never said it would be easy, just worth it ".... I must endure to the end! sigh. .... I know better, but in hindsight only the good parts of the Mormon life are remembered and if I let it, it convinces me that maybe I will be happier back there to what is familiar. I know that familiar "there" like the back of my hand. I was in the church until age 63. I know the rules and how to survive in that world. This new world outside the cave has been strange and foreign and it's pleasures sometimes make me feel a bit guilty. I know that is the indoctrination talking and telling me the world is an evil bad place. It is a good reminder of how trapped I was in the church and of the beautiful world I am discovering every day since leaving.

Now, getting back to Epictetus's quote, “Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them.” How we view life makes all the difference in how we experience the journey. Think of this unexpected change in course as an amazing opportunity to discover and build upon. Find your passions. Explore that new and foreign world. There's much to discover now we are out from underneath the dome. The more you learn, the more you know. Don't be afraid to branch out to science, philosophies and religious thought. Discover what the church didn't want you to know. Find your place in this universe and how we are all connected to it. Do this and I'm pretty sure you will find that incredible GOOD you are looking for.

[BriansThoughtMirror]

Think of this unexpected change in course as an amazing opportunity to discover and build upon. Find your passions. Explore that new and foreign world. There's much to discover now we are out from underneath the dome. The more you learn, the more you know. Don't be afraid to branch out to science, philosophies and religious thought. Discover what the church didn't want you to know. Find your place in this universe and how we are all connected to it. Do this and I'm pretty sure you will find that incredible GOOD you are looking for.

Definitely working on it!

[blazerb]

Here is the real reason for all of the pain in the world: You live on the crust of a slowly cooling planet with a radioactive core where the dominant form of life arose slowly and painfully by organic evolution. This takes place in a universe governed by weak gravity, slightly stronger electromagnetism, and stupidly strong subatomic forces. It's probably not as helpful as you were hoping, right?

You forgot the most important element: that darn entropy that just keeps increasing! There is no fixing that, Asimov's Last Question notwithstanding. (Also, electromagnetism is a lot stronger than gravity.)

[Corsair]

You forgot the most important element: that darn entropy that just keeps increasing! There is no fixing that, Asimov's Last Question notwithstanding. (Also, electromagnetism is a lot stronger than gravity.)

Yes, I should mention entropy. It governs far more than we normally acknowledge. But I will acknowledge your correction on the strength of electromagnetism. I failed to check on relative strengths of the four forces and had forgotten how the strength of EM is a lot closer to the nuclear strong force than it is to gravity.