Any church-at-home experience to report?

[Hagoth]

Mrs. Hagoth doesn't seem to miss meetings but she likes to take the sacrament more or less regularly, so we did a home SM today. It was nice. It went like this:

I opened by welcoming the sister out to church today and announced that I, as an ordained minister of both The Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster and the Church of the Latter-Day Dude was conducting and Mrs. H was presiding.

She played a hymn.

I broke a tiny piece of bread into two tinier pieces of bread and blessed it along with two tablespoons of water in tiny sake cups.

I gave a talk. The topic was an overview of Vedanta philosophy and the life of Ramakrishna.

Then tongues of flame danced on our heads.

She commented that maybe people won't want to go back to 2-hour meetings.

[Palerider]

Sister Palerider and I are about to start listening to the RFM podcast about BofM translation.
I feel quite attentive and inspired already.

[alas]

My spouse an is off delivering the sacrament to some widow in the ward. I am not at all sure that delivering the sacrament to the old ladies is worth the risk to both the two ministering brothers who go to her home and do this little ritual, and the little old ladies. All three involved today are high risk individuals. There has to be a better way.

I didn’t feel good about in home sacrament back when my MIL was on chemo and so terrified of picking up a bug from her grandchildren that she wouldn’t see them, but the two teenaged kids doing the sacrament came once a week.

There has to be a way of doing this that does not compromise the safety of high risk little old ladies.

[Red Ryder]

I keep getting texts from unknown numbers asking if my family had the sacrament today.

What’s wrong with people? The FP said once a month and the local ward pushes weekly.

Don't Mormons go on vacation without worrying about the sacrament?

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

3 hour church became 2 hour church
2 hour church became 15 minute church

Bread and water became
Canapes and Manischewitz

Regurgiated talks by Nelson, Oaks, and Bednar became
favorite scripture lessons from Jesus H Christ (interestingly all 3 asked to share favorite scripture stories choose passages from Matthew)

The vote was 5-0 that this was better than a typical Sunday at ward house.

-lost

[Hermey]

There has to be a way of doing this that does not compromise the safety of high risk little old ladies.

Temple work is done by proxy, so why can’t they do the same with the sacrament. Televise one of the brethren partaking of it for and in behalf of all of all members of the church each week. Why couldn’t they? They love to do Apostolic group blessings. This shouldn’t be any different.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

I was mountain biking on the local shoreline trail this afternoon and as I turned one corner there was a young gen Z family with toddlers in full white shirt and tie sunday best having a sacrament meeting off the side of the singletrack. It was bizarre even for Utah.

[wtfluff]

There has to be a way of doing this that does not compromise the safety of high risk little old ladies.

Temple work is done by proxy, so why can’t they do the same with the sacrament. Televise one of the brethren partaking of it for and in behalf of all of all members of the church each week. Why couldn’t they? They love to do Apostolic group blessings. This shouldn’t be any different.

A simple YouTube video with Rusty pronouncing the magick incantation for the fake human flesh and human blood.

Members could put their "emblems" out while they watched the video, then pretend to be cannibals.

Because symbolic cannibalism is so much more important than anything else humans can do! (Especially in the middle of a pandemic.)

[2bizE]

we had a brief sacrament. It was way better than anything at church.
We watched the first BOM YouTube video. 1 of 50 i think. It was about JS and the FV.
It is a recent video and shows JS at a table with the plates and oliver writing down what JS translates from the plates. Total BS. I had to teach my kids about the magic rock and the hat trick....

[MoPag]

Church of Fortnite

I went with my kid and some of my jack mo Utah cousins via xbox live. We got in the top 10 on squads multiple times, but we never got a win. I guess I need to repent for something.

[Hagoth]

There has to be a better way.

Some churches are giving out apocalypse-approved sterile communion packs:

[wtfluff]

There has to be a better way.

Some churches are giving out apocalypse-approved sterile communion packs:

That look$ like a money-making opportunity that LD$-Inc. $hould jump on immediately!

[Hagoth]

Here's another. Think how cheap they would be to produce with water instead of wine and compressed day-old Wonder Bread.

[Reuben]

As is typical, FIL has gone full-bore zealot, so my wife's entire family is doing video conferences with an hour SM and an hour SS. Six children and their spouses - except me - and 25 grandchildren.

If you looked at this man's blood under a microscope, you would see that each cell is actually a tiny Angel Moroni.

[Corsair]

If you looked at this man's blood under a microscope, you would see that each cell is actually a tiny Angel Moroni.

Does the angel Moroni still have his trumpet?

Out of the religious armistice between my wife and I, our Sunday meetings have been short. Opening song, prayer, sacrament, brief "Come Follow Me", and closing prayer. I have taken over the lesson so it sounds vaguely LDS, but I add my own spin. Then we go back to whatever we were doing. It's actually pleasant in my own slacker way.

[wtfluff]

As is typical, FIL has gone full-bore zealot, so my wife's entire family is doing video conferences with an hour SM and an hour SS. Six children and their spouses - except me - and 25 grandchildren.

If you looked at this man's blood under a microscope, you would see that each cell is actually a tiny Angel Moroni.

Dear Zeus, this leaves me almost speechless.

Even as a believer, I would have scoffed at any sort of "parental unit" trying to hijack mine and my family's religious holiday.

[Hagoth]

Even as a believer, I would have scoffed at any sort of "parental unit" trying to hijack mine and my family's religious holiday.

Are all of these people doing it happily and voluntarily or would many of them just as soon switch off the webcam and get on with their Sunday? I guess it's unthinkable (except for brave, brave Sir Reuben) to just say, "no thanks, we'll just do it our way."

[A New Name]

I saw on another board (maybe reddit/latterdaysaints) that the area president someplace in the US issued a firm order that the members are NOT to conduct a sacrament meeting. He said only the prophet can authorized a sacrament meeting, and he has not done so. He said members can sing and have an opening prater, then bless and pass the sacrament,. Then study the CFM program. No meetings!

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

I saw on another board (maybe reddit/latterdaysaints) that the area president someplace in the US issued a firm order that the members are NOT to conduct a sacrament meeting. He said only the prophet can authorized a sacrament meeting, and he has not done so. He said members can sing and have an opening prater, then bless and pass the sacrament,. Then study the CFM program. No meetings!

Of course, if you start having your own meetings you get schisms like Lori and Chad Daybell, Julie Rowe and the like. People start having prophecies, speaking in tongues, killing spouses and kids, etc.

[moksha]

Here's another. Think how cheap they would be to produce with water instead of wine and compressed day-old Wonder Bread.

Any idea how much the Church should charge the customers per packet?



BTW, I had a prayer and meditation followed by listening to Finlandia. For an extra special occasion, I will listen to the Brandenburg Concerto #3.