Resignation Poll

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.

How do you feel about resignation?

I have already resigned
6
17%
I plan to resign eventually
5
14%
I haven’t decided yet
6
17%
I have no plans to resign
5
14%
I’m indifferent or have no opinion
6
17%
I don’t want to make my mom cry
7
20%
 
Total votes: 35

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Red Ryder
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Resignation Poll

Post by Red Ryder »

How do you feel about resignation of membership from the church?

Personally, I used to think it didn’t matter. My understanding is that my name and information will continue to be in the church database with a flag to not show as a current membership in specific membership reports. My personal data still exists in some database at church headquarters.

If I chose to come back and get rebaptized, then they would unflag once I went through the hoops etc. so my thoughts were why resign? Just seems silly.

Now my thoughts have changed.

Due to the zillions of reasons to not be a member anymore, the latest sex abuse scandal has changed my mind. I don’t want to be associated with the organization in any form or fashion when they actively cover up abuse.

So I answered the poll “I will resign eventually”.

If it works out according to my dreams, our whole family will submit resignation letters and live happily ever after.

So I wait…

…and nobody wants to make their mamma cry!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
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Jeffret
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Jeffret »

For many years I figured it didn't really matter and it wasn't worth the bother. I thought that if they ever got around to kicking me out I might think differently about that, but I'm so insignificant there's no way it was ever going to happen.

Then, a few years back my wife said she planned on submitting a formal resignation. Almost all the rest of the family did at that time. Except for one grown son. We keep telling him we're going to stop shielding him from the Mormon callers, but he gets so few of them it really doesn't matter to him or us.

It hasn't been that big of a difference since the resignation, other than we never get any contact, unlike the former DNC request we had. (Local members were pretty good and mostly honored it, though sometimes not the young, bold (outrageous) missionaries.)

Overall, though, I'd say if you can, then go ahead and do it. It feels a little better to really say I'm no longer part of that organization, even though they make it so difficult to officially leave.
"Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
And the truth isn't what you want to see" (Charles Hart, "The Music of the Night")
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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Fifi de la Vergne »

This most recent news article really made me feel -- viscerally -- that I can't bear to maintain any association with them. I have one son who is still active, and he was the one I didn't want to hurt. I talked to him a couple of weeks ago and asked him how he would feel if I resigned and he asked me very pragmatically what would be different from how things are now? . . . that freed me to sever the connection from TSCC permanently. The only obstacle now is logistical -- I don't know what ward I'm in or my membership number, so I've got to track those down and start the paperwork.
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.
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jfro18
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by jfro18 »

I would resign if my wife was on the same page without hesitation. Until she is I know that would be painful for her so I put myself in the indifferent campaign even though honestly I'd want to resign if I felt like it wouldn't impact others in a negative way.
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Jeffret
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Jeffret »

Fifi de la Vergne wrote: Thu Aug 25, 2022 4:33 pm The only obstacle now is logistical -- I don't know what ward I'm in or my membership number, so I've got to track those down and start the paperwork.
I didn't need that info when I resigned. I stopped attending before the church had whatever member login system they've created, so I never had a need for a member number. I've lived in the same house for years but have no idea if they've changed ward names or boundaries.
"Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
And the truth isn't what you want to see" (Charles Hart, "The Music of the Night")
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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Fifi de la Vergne »

Jeffret wrote: Thu Aug 25, 2022 9:08 pm
Fifi de la Vergne wrote: Thu Aug 25, 2022 4:33 pm The only obstacle now is logistical -- I don't know what ward I'm in or my membership number, so I've got to track those down and start the paperwork.
I didn't need that info when I resigned. I stopped attending before the church had whatever member login system they've created, so I never had a need for a member number. I've lived in the same house for years but have no idea if they've changed ward names or boundaries.
Jeffret, how did you submit your resignation then -- did you just send a letter to church headquarters, or use Quit Mormon, or something else? I thought for Quit Mormon you need a membership number, which is why I've felt stalled. I'd like to do it as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.
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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Fifi de la Vergne »

Jeffret wrote: Thu Aug 25, 2022 1:45 pm It hasn't been that big of a difference since the resignation, other than we never get any contact, unlike the former DNC request we had. (Local members were pretty good and mostly honored it, though sometimes not the young, bold (outrageous) missionaries.)
For the most part my requests for no contact have been honored, but I did get a call on my work number last year (no idea how they obtained that!) from the elders. They left a voicemail, addressed me by my first name rather than Sister..., and wanted my thoughts on proselytizing on the Jesuit campus where I work. I was baffled by this call on so many levels (I didn't return the call).
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.
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Just This Guy
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Just This Guy »

Fifi de la Vergne wrote: Thu Aug 25, 2022 4:33 pm This most recent news article really made me feel -- viscerally -- that I can't bear to maintain any association with them. I have one son who is still active, and he was the one I didn't want to hurt. I talked to him a couple of weeks ago and asked him how he would feel if I resigned and he asked me very pragmatically what would be different from how things are now? . . . that freed me to sever the connection from TSCC permanently. The only obstacle now is logistical -- I don't know what ward I'm in or my membership number, so I've got to track those down and start the paperwork.
https://quitmormon.com/

Quite easy way to handle it. The only real hassle is you need to get it notarized before they can process it. As an added bonus, they specify DNC as part of the paperwork.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams
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græy
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Location: Central TX

Re: Resignation Poll

Post by græy »

In a dream-world I would resign along with my wife and family. But that is so far removed from reality that I just put resignation on my anti-church shelf and tell myself its so I don't make my mom cry. ... and that makes me cry. :cry:
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack
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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Fifi de la Vergne »

Just This Guy wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:39 am https://quitmormon.com/
Quite easy way to handle it. The only real hassle is you need to get it notarized before they can process it. As an added bonus, they specify DNC as part of the paperwork.
I work with a couple of notaries who would be happy to do that part for me -- but I think I have to track down my membership number to use QuitMormon and I am not sure where to start, since I don't really want to ask my ex-husband and I no longer have a recommend or tithing receipts. :roll:
græy wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:48 am In a dream-world I would resign along with my wife and family. But that is so far removed from reality that I just put resignation on my anti-church shelf and tell myself its so I don't make my mom cry. ... and that makes me cry. :cry:
I'm sorry. This is so stinking crappy for everyone entangled in their web.
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.
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Jeffret
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Jeffret »

Fifi de la Vergne wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:28 am Jeffret, how did you submit your resignation then -- did you just send a letter to church headquarters, or use Quit Mormon, or something else? I thought for Quit Mormon you need a membership number, which is why I've felt stalled. I'd like to do it as quickly and painlessly as possible.
I used Quit Mormon. They were changing their procedures to to require notarization right when we were finishing up the process.

As I recall, they asked for ward and membership number but neither were required and none of us knew any of that info. I definitely didn't bother looking it up.

And yes, no one contacted us as part of the process. That's specified in the lawyerly documentation Quit Mormon uses.
"Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
And the truth isn't what you want to see" (Charles Hart, "The Music of the Night")
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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Fifi de la Vergne »

Jeffret wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:43 am
Fifi de la Vergne wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:28 am Jeffret, how did you submit your resignation then -- did you just send a letter to church headquarters, or use Quit Mormon, or something else? I thought for Quit Mormon you need a membership number, which is why I've felt stalled. I'd like to do it as quickly and painlessly as possible.
I used Quit Mormon. They were changing their procedures to to require notarization right when we were finishing up the process.

As I recall, they asked for ward and membership number but neither were required and none of us knew any of that info. I definitely didn't bother looking it up.

And yes, no one contacted us as part of the process. That's specified in the lawyerly documentation Quit Mormon uses.
It is done. Thank you for giving me the information and push I needed to finally go through with it.
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.
dogbite
Posts: 585
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Location: SLC

Re: Resignation Poll

Post by dogbite »

I plan to resign when my dad dies.
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Hagoth
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Hagoth »

I'm hanging around to see if I ever get kicked out. Somehow, that seems like a badge of honor. But it will probably never happen and I may very well resign at some point down the road. The thing is, it all seems so make-believe to me now that I find it hard to really care that much. It's like extending a formal resignation to The Mickey Mouse Club (which I joined 3 years before I was old enough to get baptized into the Mormon church, but which I recognize as equally authoritative).

Oh, I know!!! How about this as a last word. I'll have my family publish my resignation letter as my obituary. Instead of flowers I'll ask people to donate to The Divine Assembly (mushroom church).
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
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wtfluff
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by wtfluff »

Red Ryder wrote: Thu Aug 25, 2022 1:04 pm…and nobody wants to make their mamma cry!
I'm pretty sure it would kill my mamma if she found out any of her offspring had resigned. I'm also pretty sure it would make her cry before it killed her. :cry:
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

Gave up who I am for who you wanted me to be...
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Jeffret
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by Jeffret »

Fifi de la Vergne wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 9:58 am It is done. Thank you for giving me the information and push I needed to finally go through with it.
Exciting!
"Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
And the truth isn't what you want to see" (Charles Hart, "The Music of the Night")
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alas
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by alas »

It isn’t my mama that I don’t want to make cry, but my spouse.
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wtfluff
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by wtfluff »

alas wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 1:49 pm It isn’t my mama that I don’t want to make cry, but my spouse.
Yeah.

Well...

There's that too. :|
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

Gave up who I am for who you wanted me to be...
acmeist
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Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 12:42 pm

Re: Resignation Poll

Post by acmeist »

I would like to resign, but spouse and I haven't because it would make family sad. This may be very petty too, but I don't want to give any Mormon the satisfaction of redoing my temple work after I die.
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alas
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Re: Resignation Poll

Post by alas »

alas wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 1:49 pm It isn’t my mama that I don’t want to make cry, but my spouse.
Edited to add that I marked that I have no plans to resign, because even if my sweetheart goes first, he asked me not to because that would wipe out our sealing. I promised him that I wouldn’t and I won’t.
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