NOM

LaMachina, I'm sorry I forgot your old NOM name. And I'm sorry I made you remember ward council. I don't want to relive those days either! The reason I have been trying to remember names is because -unlike church- NOM really has helped me. And it sucked when that help was gone from my life.
Anyway, I'm glad you are here now, and I hope things get better with your daughter.

LaMachina wrote:I'm not surprised that no one has mentioned my old NOM identity. I was never one of the "cool kids". I'm not sure how that sounds to any of you but I don't say that with anger or anything. I was a true believer for a good chunk of my life but I always preferred being one of the back pew kinds of members. On NOM it was probably pretty similar, I was a back pew NOM attendee. That said though, I was a contributing member for over 4 years. I was never one of those prolific posters but I submitted hundreds of thoughts through the ether on the NOM boards. Seeing this thread has kind of emphasized to me how little actual human connection I've made with anyone on this forum in those 4 years. The internet is great, this forum is great, but it seems prone to reduce us to brains in vats. I know many of you guys but I don't know you at all.

For what it's worth, several of my favorite NOM members have not yet made an appearance in this new incarnation and also have not been mentioned in this thread. I won't start listing names, though.

I know what you mean about making connections without really making connections. It's easy for me to get a little envious of those who live near other forum members and get to have these sorts of discussions in person as well as here. Then again, I'm pretty introverted (cat-like?) and I might not take advantage of that opportunity even if I had it.

I liked the thread that came up one time in the old forums about how to refer to something someone said here. Do you say "A friend of mine said," or are we acquaintances, or what? Just saying that I read something on the Internet doesn't seem accurate, as it doesn't account for the sense of community. Funny how technology leads to such questions.

Real connections are possible but it takes some effort. You have to put yourself out there a little bit. One way is through a quick pm, perhaps to add personal commentary to a post conversation without it being public. Like a common experience or finding out someone lives where you grew up. We also use to do the NOM conference calls and had many people join in. The conversations just naturally flowed and people found common ground and shared mormon experience. A few friendships have grown out of those as well.

The best way to meet people though is to go to a lunch or a get together. That takes courage and can be difficult.

Sometimes on discussion boards, the people that post the most often are the most visible. But this doesn't mean the most valuable. There have been so many good people on NOM over the years that don't post very often but when they do, it's a true pleasure to read.

Ghost wrote:For what it's worth, several of my favorite NOM members have not yet made an appearance in this new incarnation and also have not been mentioned in this thread. I won't start listing names, though.

I know what you mean about making connections without really making connections. It's easy for me to get a little envious of those who live near other forum members and get to have these sorts of discussions in person as well as here. Then again, I'm pretty introverted (cat-like?) and I might not take advantage of that opportunity even if I had it.

I liked the thread that came up one time in the old forums about how to refer to something someone said here. Do you say "A friend of mine said," or are we acquaintances, or what? Just saying that I read something on the Internet doesn't seem accurate, as it doesn't account for the sense of community. Funny how technology leads to such questions.

This is one of the main reasons I wanted to see NOM built again. I felt like so many connections to our online community were lost. It was a tangible void for those weeks. It was a strange feeling because the majority of these valuable connections and "friendships" have been emotional bonds with people I know I'll never meet in real life.

Like imaginary friends!

I'm back, and it feels good.

Long-story-short: signed up weeks ago, and HotMail (curse you Microsoft) must have kept the activation email out. I couldn't find a way to let it come through, so I created a gmail account for myself that worked first try.

LaMachina - I hear you. With your analogy, I see myself as more on the cat end of the spectrum too. I think those with more cat-like qualities find it easier (not necessarily easy, just easier) to disassociate from groups, and I think us NOMs/PostMos tend to be a little more skewed to the cat side as a group as a result.

At any rate, sorry to hear of your struggles. We're here for you virtually. Is there a NOM or PostMo group in your area? I hear some find that very helpful. (Wouldn't know myself, being a loner cat and all).

Best wishes,
Zack

Zack Tacorin Dos wrote:I'm back, and it feels good.

Long-story-short: signed up weeks ago, and HotMail (curse you Microsoft) must have kept the activation email out

Hotmail? You still use Hotmail? How did your account not get flooded with spam?

achilles wrote:Hotmail? You still use Hotmail? How did your account not get flooded with spam?

[After an embarrassed chuckle]Yeah, Hotmail. I swear I only use it for NOMie stuff, and yes, my junk mail was full of junk on a daily basis, but somehow they managed to filter out the emails from the one sender I wanted to get mail from.

LaMachina wrote:I'm not surprised that no one has mentioned my old NOM identity....... I was never one of the "cool kids"...... I was never one of those prolific posters but I submitted hundreds of thoughts through the ether on the NOM boards. Seeing this thread has kind of emphasized to me how little actual human connection I've made with anyone on this forum in those 4 years.
I think I'm feeling a little sensitive to this because my human connections IRL feel a little sparse lately...... My family seems to be showing their true colors lately as selfish a-holes. I have a child who struggles with mental illness. ...it's all very frustrating.
I like human connection...but I don't want TOO much human connection.....

I am sorry to hear all that your going through. Sounds like things are really rough right now. I know it's painful when you can't help your child. It's no wonder you're frustrated and feeling down.
I was a tiny bit worried about people feeling left out by this thread. With as many members as there were, many were bound to be left out.
I too have a love/hate for humans(I do however have a straight up love for cats haha esp for the one at my feet). I tend get lonely and then freak out when I make a new friend and they want to start spending a lot of time together. It might be because I feel a lot of pressure to make them happy. It's something I'm working on.
Recently I started to push myself to be more social. I go to Book Club even if I don't feel like it, I go to parties I'm invited to, and I post on here if I want to without as much worry.
I do understand what you are saying about the internet. To me it goes back to everything in balance... the forum is not going to be a fix all. And I can see needing the social interaction as a reason many stay in the church and push any concerns they have to the back of their mind.
Sorry if I rambled(or am I? ) I truly hope things start to look up for you and you find things that bring you some joy.

Thanks for the kind words, I hope I didn't come across too needy! I was around long enough to recall many names who have come and gone from NOM with nary a mention. I just had a eureka moment where I realized if I NOM died, no one would notice.

Which is no indictment of this place or anyone here. It's largely a result of how I've operated and even how I prefer it sometimes. Although I've certainly made attempts at re-establishing some community.

I would happily attend a NOM lunch yet I live thousands of miles away from the active communities here. I've attended other local churches despite being a total non-believer but I've come away not wanting to consistently attend any of them. I got in touch with the local Mormon Spectrum community here but they took FOREVER to get back to me (I don't think it's super active) and then they wanted me to make some social media changes in order to join. I ended up not making the changes cuz it was too much bother (I know, I know. I complain about lacking community but I refuse to play by some community rules and therefore miss out on community. It's my cat side coming out I guess).

And honestly, it's been a tough year. Mental illness is a bitch. And emotionally exhausting. And it has made it hard to maintain some relationships. We have our daughter currently taking part in a local community organization and they are wonderful and accepting and flexible but she's such a different kid that it's still a huge struggle. My little family and I just need to find our own Island of Misfit toys.

But just to reiterate, you people are wonderful. It's a combination of my own social hangups, the nature of internet relationships and even that weird mormon concrete I'm still shaking off my brain. I'll figure it out eventually.

LaMachina wrote: I certainly don't ascribe any malice to the OP or those who have commented. I just find the parallel interesting and my own emotional response to the subject matter even more interesting. This says more about me than anything else.

I'm not surprised that no one has mentioned my old NOM identity. I was never one of the "cool kids". I'm not sure how that sounds to any of you but I don't say that with anger or anything.

I understand how you feel. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure I wouldn't have been mentioned either (and I did think about this after I started the thread hoping no one would feel bad if not named). I really just started this thread in hopes of finding some of the "lost NOMS". And, I am truly sorry if it hurt you (or anyone else).

I'm so glad you're here and look forward to getting to know you better! (And, your avatar fascinates me...very cool).

Red Ryder wrote:Sometimes on discussion boards, the people that post the most often are the most visible. But this doesn't mean the most valuable. There have been so many good people on NOM over the years that don't post very often but when they do, it's a true pleasure to read.

This is so true. And, one might not even think about them (kind of out of sight, out of mind ) and then are so happy to see a post from them!

I have to admit that I'm not real good at remembering names and better at recognizing somone's avatar (which is a problem because many change their's often). I'll work on name recognition

LaMachina wrote:Thanks for the kind words, I hope I didn't come across too needy! I was around long enough to recall many names who have come and gone from NOM with nary a mention. I just had a eureka moment where I realized if I NOM died, no one would notice.

Which is no indictment of this place or anyone here. It's largely a result of how I've operated and even how I prefer it sometimes. Although I've certainly made attempts at re-establishing some community.

I would happily attend a NOM lunch yet I live thousands of miles away from the active communities here. I've attended other local churches despite being a total non-believer but I've come away not wanting to consistently attend any of them. I got in touch with the local Mormon Spectrum community here but they took FOREVER to get back to me (I don't think it's super active) and then they wanted me to make some social media changes in order to join. I ended up not making the changes cuz it was too much bother (I know, I know. I complain about lacking community but I refuse to play by some community rules and therefore miss out on community. It's my cat side coming out I guess).

And honestly, it's been a tough year. Mental illness is a Biddy. And emotionally exhausting. And it has made it hard to maintain some relationships. We have our daughter currently taking part in a local community organization and they are wonderful and accepting and flexible but she's such a different kid that it's still a huge struggle. My little family and I just need to find our own Island of Misfit toys.

But just to reiterate, you people are wonderful. It's a combination of my own social hangups, the nature of internet relationships and even that weird mormon concrete I'm still shaking off my brain. I'll figure it out eventually.

I haven't connected you to an old identity, but I can tell you are a poster whose comments I enjoyed reading. You have a lot of insight into yourself and others and we are so alike in wanting connection, yet feeling so ambivalent when we do connect with people. I have been working on being more open to people and willing to even be friends for most of my life.

And funny, but the fact that we don't have a real face to face community is a big factor in me feeling safe enough to post. So, I kind of make up here for real life by being so much more open and chatty. I am not a prolific talker in real life until I know people really well. I have to force myself to go to social things and then kind of hide behind my outgoing husband. He talks and I listen to the conversations.

You saying you live far away from most NOMs made me think of some of our posters from outside the US. None of them except our Dutch friend have shown up. And they are ones that nobody will know in real life.

Speaking of knowing people in real life, Anya sends her love and wants everyone to know she is doing well. Life is quiet, she says, which is good. She is busy being a single mother and has pretty much moved on past the church. She says she will sign in if she needs any help with anything.

achilles wrote:

Zack Tacorin Dos wrote:I'm back, and it feels good.

Long-story-short: signed up weeks ago, and HotMail (curse you Microsoft) must have kept the activation email out

Hotmail? You still use Hotmail? How did your account not get flooded with spam?

I use hotmail and I rarely get any unwanted spam.

I'm still hoping Consiglieri will show up. Does anyone have real world contact with him?

Lithium Sunset wrote:HighMaintenanceMe and Malcom Villager (I think I have that right)

I made it!

HighMaintenance wrote:

Lithium Sunset wrote:HighMaintenanceMe and Malcom Villager (I think I have that right)

I made it!

Yay! Welcome back

MoPag wrote:Oh and . . .
Zach Torion

Listen to what a kind and considerate person MoPag is. Remembers my name, but misspells it a bit and then when I show up with the "correct spelling," MoPag IMs me saying sorry for misspelling the name. I would have just IMed back, but I'm so new, the system wont let me yet.

MoPeg, Don't worry about it. I couldn't care less that the name was spelled differently. I'm one of the cats like LaMachina brought up. On top of that, it's a pseudonym so if I complained about the spelling it's even worse than arguing over whether "Nephi" is appropriately spelled with "ph" or if it should have been an "f."

Best wishes,
Tack Zacorin

I love that every time I log on, I see more familiar names! How wonderful to be together again. I confess I relied on the avatars quite a bit, too. The combination of the two made the connection for me - I need to improve my name recognition and memory skills - I keep thinking of people I miss and want to see, and my mind is saying, "Where's uh-uh-uh..." I can see the avatar, or sort of remember the name, but I go blank. In a few cases, I have met people in person, or on FB, and that adds yet a third ID for one person. Meanwhile, I am completely guilty of changing both my avatar and my name. Yikes! So sorry!

La Machina - I recognize your writing (that's one thing I can often do - spot writing styles). I am glad you are here! Please PM me if you have a chance, so we can catch up on things?

Where is Dr. Txn? Where are...so many people we miss!

Are you TheRunningMom? Or Jenny?

I miss you both and 4,823 others who have not shown up yet. Maybe we need a ward clerk? Any volunteers? Our NOM ward accepts women in this position!

Where is Self Proclaimed Greatness? He wrote some really philosophical posts.