Easter Baskets

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Lithium Sunset
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Easter Baskets

Post by Lithium Sunset » Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:56 am

Happy Easter!

I'm out the door (Go Wizards!) but wanted to share a glimpse of my morning and see if you think I should just let it go.
First of all, my darling sons are a bit spoiled... I have tried to not make it so. Maybe they are just kids who say "kid" things and they are not too spoiled. We watched The Elephant Man as a family last weekend and they were both quiet through the credits. They said that even though it was a sad movie, it was important to watch. At 12 and 15 years old my heart was pretty full that night.

Anyway! So for Easter I got them both movies and a chocolate bunny. I hardly ever buy DVDs but my son is a diehard Harry Potter reader so I got him Fantastical Beasts and I got my other son Hacksaw Ridge. He watched in the theater and I ended up getting it on DVD through Netflix and watched it with him. I am still pretty prudish when it comes to R but I felt this movie was very inspiring.
Anyway(again)- they are such brats! My younger opens his and says something like "yep" and then my older one says "Our first R rated movie, we are moving up in the world"... I got so irrigated. He followed me and commented that I shouldn't be upset because he really likes the movie.

So here is my question and a tiny bit of back story- We stopped going to church late fall of 2015. I didn't know my 15 y/o was doing the same mental gymnastics I was. He seemed to fall completely in line when we went back to church and to have a testimony. I know he would have served a mission that would make any TBM proud. He said all the right things, but maybe because we already had taught him to be caring and helpful. But now... he mocks religion. Even though I don't believe in anything secular (is that the right word? I don't have time to check) I am still bothered by this. Maybe he is just finding himself? I don't want him offending anyone and I don't want him to be closed minded...

Probably just a typical mother getting annoyed and worrying.
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." -Laura Ingalls Wilder

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NOMinally Mormon
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by NOMinally Mormon » Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:13 am

Hi Lithium,
Happy Easter to you, too. I have a son in his early 20s who mocks religion, especially on FB. It does make me a little uncomfortable. Over the years, I've given him advice on when it is appropriate and when it is inappropriate to share these opinions. Other than that, I ignore it.

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Red Ryder
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by Red Ryder » Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:36 am

Sounds like it was a compliment. Yes! Moving up in the world. Mom really knows what I like! This is awesome! Fire up the DVD and pop some popcorn!

Now if you really want to talk about where you're letting him down...

Wizards?? :lol:
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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Newme
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by Newme » Sun Apr 16, 2017 2:05 pm

I can relate.
Such a fine line I'm asking my kids to walk - to take the best and leave the rest of religion.
Today, one of my kids asked to leave after Sacrament mtg, knowing I often leave 3rd hour. It didn't work today because I was helping out, but I think he's most NOM (of all my kids) at this point. He's also asked to go back to the baptist church where he "can dress casually." My kids have had some past neighbors' mom restrict them from playing with my kids because she mistakenly thought we were inactive. So they've seen some not-so-pretty sides of church culture. But I've tried to tell & show them how in any group or religion, there are imperfect people.

What makes me most worried are when it coms time for them to marry & have kids - I hope & pray they can have spouses with integrity for truth who also know how to do the middle way.

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Lithium Sunset
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by Lithium Sunset » Sun Apr 16, 2017 6:02 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:36 am
Sounds like it was a compliment. Yes! Moving up in the world. Mom really knows what I like! This is awesome! Fire up the DVD and pop some popcorn!

Now if you really want to talk about where you're letting him down...

Wizards?? :lol:
They won today woop woop! Fun game, great crowd. My number one team is Orlando.. they haven't been much talk about.. uh, since the 90s. (Howard should have stayed there and been adored but now he is a has been).
I'll look at it like a compliment then.
NOMinally Mormon wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:13 am
Hi Lithium,
Happy Easter to you, too. I have a son in his early 20s who mocks religion, especially on FB. It does make me a little uncomfortable. Over the years, I've given him advice on when it is appropriate and when it is inappropriate to share these opinions. Other than that, I ignore it.
I'll try to be patient when I tell him what I think is inappropriate and I'll pick and choose my battles about it. Thanks.
Newme wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2017 2:05 pm
I can relate.
Such a fine line I'm asking my kids to walk - to take the best and leave the rest of religion.
Today, one of my kids asked to leave after Sacrament mtg, knowing I often leave 3rd hour. It didn't work today because I was helping out, but I think he's most NOM (of all my kids) at this point. He's also asked to go back to the baptist church where he "can dress casually." My kids have had some past neighbors' mom restrict them from playing with my kids because she mistakenly thought we were inactive. So they've seen some not-so-pretty sides of church culture. But I've tried to tell & show them how in any group or religion, there are imperfect people.

What makes me most worried are when it coms time for them to marry & have kids - I hope & pray they can have spouses with integrity for truth who also know how to do the middle way.
I worry a little about who they will marry too. I don't want them manipulated and our marriage has not been a very good model for them. In fact he said something along the lines that me and his daughters will be the most important women in his life... I had to set him straight about that and tell him that if he does it right he will love his wife the most and that is how it should be. She should come before me.
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." -Laura Ingalls Wilder

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Corsair
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by Corsair » Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:48 am

Lithium Sunset wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:56 am
Anyway! So for Easter I got them both movies and a chocolate bunny. I hardly ever buy DVDs but my son is a diehard Harry Potter reader so I got him Fantastical Beasts and I got my other son Hacksaw Ridge. He watched in the theater and I ended up getting it on DVD through Netflix and watched it with him. I am still pretty prudish when it comes to R but I felt this movie was very inspiring.
Anyway(again)- they are such brats! My younger opens his and says something like "yep" and then my older one says "Our first R rated movie, we are moving up in the world"... I got so irrigated. He followed me and commented that I shouldn't be upset because he really likes the movie.
I am a big fan of "Hacksaw Ridge". It includes scenes of horrifying violence, but the overall theme is tremendously inspiring. I would gladly show it to any group of young men. The main character shows such a profound set of moral principles and it's impossible to ignore the astonishing task he took on which resulted in being awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Yes, you are moving up in the world with a movie about instilling the best ideas of honor, sacrifice, and faith that any LDS or mainstream Christian would want in their sons. I would let his flippant jab go for now and be with him when he watches this movie. I recommend having him watch "The Railway Man" next which is also a real story about a British solider in a Japanese prison camp and how he confronts his torturers decades later. The depth of character and forgiveness by the lead characters was astonishing.

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Lithium Sunset
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 8:11 pm

Re: Easter Baskets

Post by Lithium Sunset » Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:15 am

Corsair wrote:
Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:48 am
I am a big fan of "Hacksaw Ridge". It includes scenes of horrifying violence, but the overall theme is tremendously inspiring. I would gladly show it to any group of young men. The main character shows such a profound set of moral principles and it's impossible to ignore the astonishing task he took on which resulted in being awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Yes, you are moving up in the world with a movie about instilling the best ideas of honor, sacrifice, and faith that any LDS or mainstream Christian would want in their sons. I would let his flippant jab go for now and be with him when he watches this movie. I recommend having him watch "The Railway Man" next which is also a real story about a British solider in a Japanese prison camp and how he confronts his torturers decades later. The depth of character and forgiveness by the lead characters was astonishing.
Thank you and thanks for the movies recommendation! I added it to my queue. The Truman Show came in the mail today and I am hoping to watch it together this weekend.

I kept my head when my younger son said, thank my lord and savior tachanka... when he was able to get out of the rain the other day. Still annoys me though. Tachanka is something from the internet but I can't remember what meme or joke. Who can keep up with them all..
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." -Laura Ingalls Wilder

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Red Ryder
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by Red Ryder » Thu Apr 20, 2017 2:42 pm

“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:24 pm

That's a hilarious read, I had seen the image of the character but never delved into the backstory.

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glass shelf
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Re: Easter Baskets

Post by glass shelf » Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:30 am

I think 15yos mock things. If it wasn't religion, it'd be something else. I'd talk about being respectful to other people and knowing your audience, but i wouldn't censor beliefs personally. (I have a totally sarcastic 10yo, so we've had a great many discussions about audience and appropriateness.)

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