Possible fallout from Sister Sloth's family

[Giant Sloth]

Quick background, I've been mentally out for about 4 years, transitioning for about 3.5, and fully out for almost 2. I drink, break the sabbath, and wear worldly underwear without a second thought now. I don't plan to ever go back, though I'm not resigned. Along the way, my wife has always been about a half step behind me, but is now fully out with me and in some ways is more strident about it than I am. For example, recently she told the missionaries and ward to please leave her alone permanently, while I usually just say a simple, "no thanks" to contact from the ward.

My family has been very respectful. They know I'm done with the church and are careful to never make it a point of contention between us. I try to reciprocate by not doing blatantly non-Mormon things in their presence whenever possible. My family is funny. We're part of that small bastion of Mormon liberalism that one encounters on SL county's East benches, multigenerational U of U alumni who live in denial about what the church stands for by reading old talks by Lowell Bennion and Hugh B. Brown. They are mostly NOM themselves, but are all very active. They won't chastise me about church because they'd consider it... impolite? Also, I'm they're go-to guy to vent about their frustrations with church, since they know I'll agree with them.

Sister Sloth's family, on the other hand are full believers. Their history of semi-activity has only solidified their guilt and fear about how important church is -- they have to believe extra hard to make up for their shortcomings as church members. Her dad, for example, never attends priesthood meeting because it gives him anxiety, but rather than realizing how unimportant it is, he has resigned himself to the fact that he'll serve out his eternity in the Telestial Kingdom.

They've avoided the topic with us, probably because they feel hypocritical chastising us for our slothfulness, but a couple weeks ago her brother straight up asked Sister Sloth where she was with the church. She has made a point these last couple of years to speak frankly to people (including me!), so she told him she doesn't believe, hasn't attended in a year, plans to never attend again, and plans to raise our new baby sloth as a "non-member".

He told her he was disappointed, would be praying for us, and would still bring it up with her from time to time. She warned him that when he does, she will respond in kind, and that he should not dish anything up that he can't take himself. From what I gather this was all done with polite, nervous laughter, even though the comments were all serious. This was the same brother who got himself worked up when his other sibling delayed a baby blessing by a few months. "He's my nephew, so it is my business!"

Church issues are mostly resolved for the Sloth family now (since we've totally quit!) but Sister Sloth's family is all visiting us for a weekend at a beach house this summer. Things could get interesting again. If they do, you'll hear about it here!

Best wishes, NOM!
-GS

[Linked]

Kudos to Sister Sloth for sticking to her "be frank" guns, that can be scary even as an adult. I am navigating similar waters right now, I just had the first non-weird get together with family a couple nights ago, but I have hope that there will be more. So long as your BIL can take what he dishes out I would think it would be okay; hopefully he doesn't drag other family members in who would rather leave well enough alone.

Good luck!

[Korihor]

The Slothening continues.
Has Sister Sloth employed the patented Slothful Stare?

[AllieOop]

He told her he was disappointed, would be praying for us,...

Ugh! I hate that (and I've had family members tell me that they are "praying for us" too). Do they even know how insulting, demeaning and patronizing it is for them to say that to us? Why on earth do I need THEM to pray for ME? I've actually responded with, "Well, I'm praying for you too...to find truth as we all should be searching for that". Their response was a blank stare as if they were shocked I'd still be praying at all

...plans to raise our new baby sloth

This made me smile..."baby sloth"

And, kudos to your wife for how she handled this and stood right up to him!


***********************

[MalcolmVillager]

Baby sloth steps and giant sloth steps. Congrats. IDK what we would do with the in-laws. My family knows I have had my eyes opened but assume all is well enough, but don't know that I have learned for myself that Mormonism isn't true (at least not literally and exclusively true).

Let us know how the fights end up. I can imagine it will come at some point.

[trophywife26.2]

hahahaha! Your wife sounds like me, don't dish out what you can't take! I love it. Good luck with the visit, it's fun to hear an update on people.

[Giant Sloth]

Has Sister Sloth employed the patented Slothful Stare?

Nope -- her contempt has become far less subtle than mine.

The beach house weekend went off without a hitch. Nobody chastised anyone. I even was spotted drinking actual tea, and nobody commented.

FIL wore his cargo shorts, t-shirt, and garments for swimming in the ocean. It's a wonder he didn't drown.

It was a good weekend!

[MalcolmVillager]

That is good. I hope for apathy for as much as my intense concern for eternal salvation used to drive my decisions and relationships.

[BriansThoughtMirror]

FIL wore his cargo shorts, t-shirt, and garments for swimming in the ocean. It's a wonder he didn't drown.

Haha, glad this went well! My FIL used to wear slacks and a white shirt to the beach, haha... He's loosened up a little now. I've seen him wear jeans, even (he bought them to help clean up when his daughters house flooded)!