MIL: Sherri Dew says you're lazy and just want to sin

[desertrat]

DW came out to her parents about her/our disbelief and inactivity in the church a few months ago. While visiting them recently my MIL asked if DW would be open to her sharing a particularly good Sheri Dew article with her. She said it was all about why so many people were leaving the church. I knew I shouldn't read it, but I just couldn't help my self. Here is a link to this flaming piece of excrement of a talk:

https://www.byui.edu/devotionals/sheri-dew

Here are a few "highlights."

After telling a story of one girl who "fought for her testimony" and another who doubted, decided to not live the law of chasity and got pregnant, she summarized: "One girl's questions propelled her to become a seeker of truth. The other girl used her questions to justify her immorality."

"I recently engaged in a wrestle. When the policy was announced that the children of gay parents might not be eligible for baptism at age eight, I was confused. I did not question the Brethren or doubt their inspiration, but neither did I understand the doctrinal basis for the policy. So I asked the Lord to teach me. I prayed, searched the scriptures, studied the teachings of prophets, and pondered my question in the temple. This went on for several months. Then one day a colleague made a statement that sparked a new thought for me, and in that moment the Spirit illuminated the doctrine in my heart and mind. I consider that answer personal revelation and not something I should teach."

"Questions are good if they are inspired questions, asked in faith, and asked of credible sources where the Spirit will direct and confirm the answer."

"None of us are entitled to revelation without effort on our part."

"The Lord wants us to ask every probing question we can muster because not asking questions can be far more dangerous than asking them.[xvii] In other words, sin makes you stupid-and so does refusing to seek after truth."

"As seekers of truth, our safety lies in asking the right questions, in faith, and of the right sources-meaning those who only speak truth: such as the scriptures, prophets, and the Lord through the Holy Ghost."

"Doubting is not synonymous with having questions. To doubt is to reject truth and faith."

"Seekers have certain habits that are key to learning to communicate with God. For starters, they engage in the wrestle, meaning they work at it. They immerse themselves regularly in the scriptures, because the scriptures are the textbook for the Lord's language. They also work to be increasingly pure-pure in their heart and thoughts, pure in what they say, watch, read, and listen to."

"I invite you to decide today that you will pay the price to wrestle with difficult questions, to become lifetime seekers of truth, to learn to speak the Lord's language, and to receive a witness of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel."


The lessons here are clear:

1. Seekers start with the conclusion, and seek to understand why their predetermined conclusion (i.e. church is true, brethren are inspired) is correct.
2. Doubters use a nasty little thing called "intellect" to justify their immoral behavior.
3. Seekers work hard to find the truth (where here "truth" has been redefined to mean finding evidence in support of their predetermined conclusion), while immoral doubters are lazy and just want to sin.
4. Seekers use "credible sources"... like, you know, from people (like Sister Dew) whose livelihood depend on you continuing to believe what they tell you and give you 10% of their income and hours upon hours of work for free to support their corporations. Yes, believe the people with the conflict of interest, not the scholars.

So... ya. Thank MIL. That was very touching, thoughtful, and helpful. Now that I think about it, she is right. After those 10 years of so of reading tens of thousands of pages of "faithful" sources and original documents, continuing to pay thousands, giving up 1/3 of my vacation to spend babysitting 12-year-old boys who want to play minecraft instead of camp, facing loosing my family, friends, disapproval of everyone I know, hurting business relationships by declining drinks offered by my foreign clients, .... yes, I was a bit lazy. And since I now enjoy beer and coffee, yes, I suppose it was that and not my conceince demanding that I cease to support bigotry, sexual discrimination and abuse, white supremacy, etc. Instead of asking why a loving God would command JS to decieved his wife and sleep with her married friends behind her back, I should have asked... sorry, I've got nothing. I can't possibly come up with a "faithful" way of posing that question. Where is the vomit emoji when you need one....

Sorry for the rant. I've left but I just can't leave it alone when I have such loving and helpful family.

[redjay]

But what a wonderful name for a vegas showgirl: Sheri Dew.

Also - what a load of tosh: I was perfectly happy to keep every mormon rule when I thought it was essential to my salvation.

[Dravin]

I love the double standard concerning doubt. If it's an investigator who is doubting say the Catholic church that doubt is good. Mormons wouldn't dream of telling said investigator that they should restrict their questions and investigations to talking with their priest, the Bible, and the catechism. If it's a Mormon who is doubting, they need to keep everything in house and if they ever reach the conclusion that Mormonism isn't true it's prima facie evidence they did it wrong.

[Red Ryder]

Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

I'm tired of directly hearing that people who leave are taking the easy way out. As if to justify behavior considered taboo by mormon standards. It's ironic when the founding fathers of Mormonism were completely sexist, racist, and immoral.

[Not Buying It]

Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

I'm tired of directly hearing that people who leave are taking the easy way out. As if to justify behavior considered taboo by mormon standards. It's ironic when the founding fathers of Mormonism were completely sexist, racist, and immoral.

There isn't a single woman over 40 in the Church with a better chance of getting married than Sherri Dew. I think she is single because she wants to be. And I'm not judging her choice, I don't really care, she can stay single forever and more power to her. But with her powerful connections (besties with the future Prophet's wife) and status in the Church, I don't think it is feasible to say that there hasn't ever been anyone interested in marrying her. She says we are lazy and just want to sin - is she lazy and just doesn't want to get married?

EDITED TO ADD - Sounds horribly sexist, I know. But since she is throwing rocks I thought I'd throw some back. She evidently has no problem judging our situations.

[Red Ryder]

Most likely. She's now in her early 60's and probably realized the marriage ship has sailed. By all accounts she can be considered a success in life other than a mormon marriage. She did an interview a few years ago and you could sense she was ok with never being married.

"By the time you hit your early 20s, you've had reinforced for you what you've always feared — I must not be very cute or attractive or funny," she says. "Whatever it is that attracts guys. I still haven't figured that out yet. You see all your friends getting married, every size and shape of friend gets married but you. It internalizes in you that there must be something defective in you, . . . but at some point you have to come to terms with who you are in life. I can tell you when it started, but it's been a long, long process."

She came close to getting married once. She was in her mid-30s, and she was dating a man steadily. True to their religion, they decided they would fast and pray separately about whether they should marry. By the end of the weekend her suitor revealed that he didn't want to marry her — instead, he was going to marry her best friend and roommate, whom he had been dating unbeknownst to her.

Dew has never shared this publicly, although friends are more forthcoming. Ask Dew about it and she says, "I thought it would result in marriage. As it turned out it would not have been a good match, but it was the way it happened. That was such a painful part of my life. But I don't want to hurt those people. I still care about them."

[Red Ryder]

So... ya. Thank MIL. That was very touching, thoughtful, and helpful. Now that I think about it, she is right. After those 10 years of so of reading tens of thousands of pages of "faithful" sources and original documents, continuing to pay thousands, giving up 1/3 of my vacation to spend babysitting 12-year-old boys who want to play minecraft instead of camp, facing loosing my family, friends, disapproval of everyone I know, hurting business relationships by declining drinks offered by my foreign clients, .... yes, I was a bit lazy. And since I now enjoy beer and coffee, yes, I suppose it was that and not my conceince demanding that I cease to support bigotry, sexual discrimination and abuse, white supremacy, etc. Instead of asking why a loving God would command JS to decieved his wife and sleep with her married friends behind her back, I should have asked... sorry, I've got nothing. I can't possibly come up with a "faithful" way of posing that question. Where is the vomit emoji when you need one....

This mind shift is worth the verbal vomit of a well intentioned MIL. Why trade what we know for ignorance and bliss?

[Rob4Hope]

Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

I'm tired of directly hearing that people who leave are taking the easy way out. As if to justify behavior considered taboo by mormon standards. It's ironic when the founding fathers of Mormonism were completely sexist, racist, and immoral.

There isn't a single woman over 40 in the Church with a better chance of getting married than Sherri Dew. I think she is single because she wants to be. And I'm not judging her choice, I don't really care, she can stay single forever and more power to her. But with her powerful connections (besties with the future Prophet's wife) and status in the Church, I don't think it is feasible to say that there hasn't ever been anyone interested in marrying her. She says we are lazy and just want to sin - is she lazy and just doesn't want to get married?

EDITED TO ADD - Sounds horribly sexist, I know. But since she is throwing rocks I thought I'd throw some back. She evidently has no problem judging our situations.

She is lesbian. She can't marry and keep her power.

She has a vested interest in parroting the party line.

[desertrat]

Thank you all for reading my venting. You all help me remember that I'm not the crazy one...at least not on this issue. Sorry, but here is my final response to Sister Dew. I'm wrestling with the temptation to send this to MIL or FB or something, but instead I'll just ask you to indulge me in one more rant about this to get it off my chest:

It is my position that a middle-aged, married man using his status, charisma, and religous authority to coerce a 14 year-old to marry him is WRONG and IMMORAL (and if it was consummated, which short of having a sex tape, Brian Hales is correct, we cannot prove happened, is RAPE). It doesn't matter if it is the Prophet of the Restoration, or David Mitchell, or Warren Jeffs (who were just emulating their hero). Using that religious authority to seduce other women, without your wife's knowledge, demanding that these other women also deceive your wife (and often their husbands too), is IMMORAL. Using religious authority to reinforce white supremacy for over 100 years, including opposing the the civil rights movement, no matter how many prophet seers, revelators, and Special Witnesses of Christ do it, is IMMORAL and HATEFUL. Sister Dew, MIL, I refuse to "wrestle" with these matters in any way that makes these IMMORAL actions appear in any way MORAL...which is what you are really asking me to do. I have, and continue to "engaged in the wrestle" with the indoctrination that has been given to me from the time I was a child that made me even second guess the morality of these issues. Unfortunately, I will probably continue this wrestle for quite some time. But I will no longer be told by these corrupt leaders how or what to wrestle. My game plan is to try to wrestle these harmful and immoral ideas to the ground, strangle the life blood out of them, and get them out of mine and my family's life. That is the wrestle I'm engaged in!

[Not Buying It]

I think your summary captures things very well. Your mother-in-law won't get it, but there probably isn't anything you can say that would get through to her. But you have summarized very nicely my objection to talks like Sister Dew's - don't try and get me to accept something that is clearly vile, evil, and degraded, like Joseph Smith's sexual predations. And certainly don't lecture me on the evils of pornography when you are trying to normalize something far more vile and destructive.

[Rob4Hope]

There is a book called: "Standing For Something More" by Lyndon Lamborn.

He gets into some of the psychology of cult thinking, and I found it fascinating. There are a LOT of reason why your MIL is not only unwilling to see your point of view, she is actually UNABLE to see it.

Not much you can do. At this point, unless something rattles her and she introspects and shifts her position, you have lost the battle.

My $0.02

[Margarita]

There is a book called: "Standing For Something More" by Lyndon Lamborn.

He gets into some of the psychology of cult thinking, and I found it fascinating. There are a LOT of reason why your MIL is not only unwilling to see your point of view, she is actually UNABLE to see it.

Not much you can do. At this point, unless something rattles her and she introspects and shifts her position, you have lost the battle.

My $0.02

This is a real good book.

I shouldn't have had dinner before I read all this. The whole article makes me sick. It is a constant thing. Those who are on another path wil always be wrong. It will always be our fault and the circular cult thinking rolls on and on..

[moksha]

Sherry Dew was a joint proposal between Pepsi and the wine growers of Andalusia Spain to produce a wine cooler. This refreshing beverage would combine sherry with the taste tingling fizz of Mountain Dew. The proposal is slow going due to business executives laziness and desire to sin after sampling the Sherry Dew.

[achilles]

But what a wonderful name for a vegas showgirl: Sheri Dew.

♫You have to understand the way I am, mein Herr♫

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR1t7cSPsTg

[achilles]

But what a wonderful name for a vegas showgirl: Sheri Dew.

♫You have to understand the way I am, mein Herr♫

green-nail11.jpg (121.77 KiB) Viewed 14365 times

[MoPag]

Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

I'm glad you said this. I feel the same way. She probably would have been so much happier in another church or no church at all.

But back to her talk...lets see what further light and knowledge my seer stone can reveal to us.

After telling a story of one girl who "fought for her testimony" and another who doubted, decided to not live the law of chastity and got pregnant, she summarized: "One girl's questions propelled her to become a seeker of truth. The other girl used her questions to justify her immorality."

I really really need to make these kids scared of the very idea of having a doubt. I know! I can insinuate that having doubts may result in pregnancy! BINGO!

"I recently engaged in a wrestle. When the policy was announced that the children of gay parents might not be eligible for baptism at age eight, I was confused. I did not question the Brethren or doubt their inspiration, but neither did I understand the doctrinal basis for the policy. So I asked the Lord to teach me. I prayed, searched the scriptures, studied the teachings of prophets, and pondered my question in the temple. This went on for several months. Then one day a colleague made a statement that sparked a new thought for me, and in that moment the Spirit illuminated the doctrine in my heart and mind. I consider that answer personal revelation and not something I should teach."

See, even I have to "wrestle." When the church put out a heinous policy in direct opposition with several of Christ's teachings , I was like What But then I decided I love the Brethren and all the insanity that spews forth from their geriatric mouths more than I love Jesus and little children so I was like screw it. Oh and someone may have told me something but I'm not gonna tell you what it was Because why would I do that? It's not like I'm giving a talk about helping those who question....oh wait...

"Questions are good if they are inspired questions, asked in faith, and asked of credible sources where the Spirit will direct and confirm the answer."

We can't tell you not to ask questions. The media would have a field day with that: "Mormons don't let members ask questions" So the new plan is to condition, shame and manipulate you into asking questions we can handle. Eventually you will be so afraid of asking a wrong question you just won't ask. Problem solved.

"None of us are entitled to revelation without effort on our part."

Here is the Sherry Dew version of "You're the problem."

"The Lord wants us to ask every probing question we can muster because not asking questions can be far more dangerous than asking them.[xvii] In other words, sin makes you stupid-and so does refusing to seek after truth."

The Lord might want you to ask questions, but we sure as hell don't.

"As seekers of truth, our safety lies in asking the right questions, in faith, and of the right sources-meaning those who only speak truth: such as the scriptures, prophets, and the Lord through the Holy Ghost."

As employees of LDS inc. our salaries rely on you continuing to swallow the pay, pray obey b.s. you've been fed all of your lives.

"Doubting is not synonymous with having questions. To doubt is to reject truth and faith."

Because I'm a church leader, I get to redefine words. Doubting is no longer something all healthy people experience at various times in their lives Doubting is now synonymous with faithless, bad and evil.

"Seekers have certain habits that are key to learning to communicate with God. For starters, they engage in the wrestle, meaning they work at it. They immerse themselves regularly in the scriptures, because the scriptures are the textbook for the Lord's language. They also work to be increasingly pure-pure in their heart and thoughts, pure in what they say, watch, read, and listen to."

Seekers fill every second of their lives with church busywork and every ounce of their minds with crippling guilt and shame. Eventually they stop wondering why the god who clothes the lilies of the field isn't talking to them.

"I invite you to decide today that you will pay the price to wrestle with difficult questions, to become lifetime seekers of truth, to learn to speak the Lord's language, and to receive a witness of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel."

I invite you to continue to swallow the pay, pray, obey line. 'Cause honestly we didn't see this coming. None of us did. In the one true church on the face of the earth led by prophets seers and revelators; no one predicted that the lowly masses would one day rebel against the oppression, racism, sexism and homophobia. No one predicted that the sewage soaked pages of our churches history would bother anyone. And now that we are hemorrhaging members, we have no f@#$ing clue how to stop it.

[MerrieMiss]

Sherri Dew is a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. She's the poster child for an unwanted demographic in the church. A single working woman with a voice and leadership skills. Can you imagine what it's like for her to be surrounded by incompetent men who have status over her because they have the same male appendage as the current prophets and apostles. The worst part is she accentuates and supports the man doctrines by her talks and support by parroting the brethren.

In part, I blame the Mormon worship of Sheri Dew for the schizophrenic identity problems I had as a youth/young adult. I was taught to get married and make babies, while at the same time, Sheri Dew was paraded as The Woman to emulate (a woman of God!) - who did neither of these things. I aspired to be educated and have a career, but I was taught not to. I was taught to be one kind of woman, while being told another kind of woman (Sheri Dew) was the greatest. Looking back, it was very confusing to me.

[Mormorrisey]

Just a similar and odious line to that other BYU professor that those who stay have character, meaning those who leave don't. The demonization of those who leave is just going to get worse. That's my prophecy.

[Korihor]

Dear Sister Dew:

F#ck off.

[Not Buying It]

I suppose it is just coincidence that Sherri Dew does a BYU-I fireside called "Will You Engage in the Wrestle" at the same time she has just released a new book called "Worth the Wrestle"? See https://www.amazon.com/Worth-the-Wrestl ... sherri+dew, pay particular attention to the two star review, that person has hit the nail on the head.

Let me get this straight - she writes a book, publishes it with the publishing company she is the CEO of, and uses an invitation to speak at a devotional at BYU-I to promote and sell said book. Wow, it's good to be Sherry Dew. Making money off the Church instead of the other way around like the rest of us suckers. Nice.