Just complaining/sharing what just happened-

[Lithium Sunset]

So I can't talk about all the #$%& that is going on in my life.... but I can say that I have a good support group.

I just want to complain. I don't have time to visit here as often as I use to.
Today I was sitting at the soccer field, far away from anyone, reading my book "parenting through crisis" (it's a good book so far). Pretty soon a few kids came near me with a dog. An older woman walks over and asks what kind of dog. I'm looking at the kids because I have no idea and I can't hear what kind of dog the kids are saying because her little (annoying) dog is barking up a storm in my ear. I realize she's asking me because she thought they were my kids/dog. I tell her they are not with me.
She then talks about the weather and humidity and how she misses Idaho (I'm in MD). She goes on to say how there are not many in her religion here. I ask her what religion but already had a pretty good idea... I guess I nodded or something because she asked why I reacted the way I did when she said LDS. I then came clean that I'm not active. She literally asked me if I have my name taken off and then it was "well you believe in Jesus don't you?" and of course I said yes.. goodness... then it was people with tattoos and black people and I wanted to vomit. She acted surprised our former bishop was black and I kept saying how nice he was. She said I had a "glow" a millions times! and she could tell I was friendly (if she only knew I was writing this). It was so annoying. She did say I looked young... I take that compliment any day from anyone. She said I have the light about me... but others here don't.... ugh. She asked about my family and I told her my grandmother uses the church as a measuring stick for everyone. She went on about free agency and how she doesn't pressure anyone- then asked my name a million times and told me to watch general conference... So annoying... the church makes the church a person's whole life.
Yes, I'm friendly... so what.. and I have a big smile.... it's not Mormonism showing on my skin.

[Lithium Sunset]

I should have said I don't believe in Jesus.... that would have killed any light she thought she saw... guess I was a chicken... but I have been resorting to praying and it's helped. I'm agnostic but I don't think that would have sat well with her either.

[SeeNoEvil]

Vent accepted and definitely justified! She will probably still be talking telling everyone tomorrow at church about the nice person she met at the ballpark and how she was sent by God in answer to your prayer, her prayer, blah, blah. So you have the light of Jesus in you?..... we definitely have to see this! Pictures please!!

[Anon70]

She will probably still be talking telling everyone tomorrow at church about the nice person she met at the ballpark and how she was sent by God in answer to your prayer, her prayer, blah, blah.

THIS. I avoid telling people I'm Mormon. Maybe try that next time? Except then she'd try to send the missionaries to your home

As soon as someone finds out I'm Mormon, I immediately follow up with either I'm not very orthodox or I'm not a good Mormon and I'm not trying to be one.

[Emower]

Uh oh. If you didnt tell her a fake name watch for missionaries showing up in the next week.

[Hermey]

"Let's just say I have a personal relationship with reality."

[Korihor]

Just my $.02

I think it's nice you said you didn't attend and still believe in Jesus. I'm going to assume you believe in the ideals of Jesus (be nice to people/don't judge) even if not in the literary Jesus.

Sounds like she was ignorant racist. You showed your true colors in being kind to all. You were able to connect with her despite some differences and set an example of good humanity. She was probably just happy to have someone to talk to that understands the concept of being mormon - even if it was an inactive person.

I think you made the world a better place. Good for you.

[Linked]

I should have said I don't believe in Jesus.... that would have killed any light she thought she saw... guess I was a chicken... but I have been resorting to praying and it's helped. I'm agnostic but I don't think that would have sat well with her either.

It may have been cathartic to do that. The church creates or encourages people who don't have boundaries. The whole missionary program is built around overstepping boundaries that most of society follows. Sorry you had to endure a frustrating situation.

I had an interesting experience on a flight that may relate. I was flying home from a work trip and sitting next to a middle-aged woman who seemed a little disheveled and tired. Eventually we talked a little bit, and I found out she was an exmo! I didn't know many exmos in the wild, so this was really exciting for me. We talked and talked. At some point she mentioned that her husband had just left her for a younger woman. She adored her husband and thought he was great. They had left the church together. Things seemed to be good, then one day he packed his stuff up and left her a note. It had only been a few weeks and she was clearly mourning. She left the church over historical issues but maintained her faith in God and Christ, and was leaning on them heavily. At some point she asked if I still believed in God after my faith transition and I decided to be honest and told her no. It felt like I was insulting the thing that was getting her through this extremely difficult time. The plane landed and we left, but I felt bad about possibly hurting her in such a vulnerable time. I am sure my comment didn't cause any harm, but I still wonder if that was the right thing to do.

Ultimately it would be nice if people didn't feel the need to have others have the same beliefs.

[Lithium Sunset]

So you have the light of Jesus in you?..... we definitely have to see this! Pictures please!!

I am so tempted to set my son upon a picture of me with one of his many photoshop apps haha

Yeah, I figured that's why she kept asking my name. I will let the missionaries talk my ear off and I talk theirs off too... maybe a little more awkwardly but I usually tell them I don't believe and I touch a tiny bit on why. They leave us alone nowadays. Plus the woman couldn't remember my name for two minutes haha.

I think you made the world a better place. Good for you.

Thank you. I love the fact that we can be a force for good in the world without doing it for the sake of punishment or some religion told us that it's what we need to do. In the beginning I think I was surprised that the good in my personality went on after the church.

I should have said I don't believe in Jesus.... that would have killed any light she thought she saw... guess I was a chicken... but I have been resorting to praying and it's helped. I'm agnostic but I don't think that would have sat well with her either.

It may have been cathartic to do that. The church creates or encourages people who don't have boundaries. The whole missionary program is built around overstepping boundaries that most of society follows. Sorry you had to endure a frustrating situation.

I had an interesting experience on a flight that may relate....It felt like I was insulting the thing that was getting her through this extremely difficult time. The plane landed and we left, but I felt bad about possibly hurting her in such a vulnerable time. I am sure my comment didn't cause any harm, but I still wonder if that was the right thing to do.

Ultimately it would be nice if people didn't feel the need to have others have the same beliefs.

I only really just learned about boundaries last fall and it was so eye opening! The lack of boundaries the church creates leads to a festering pool of abuse. You're taught not to have them... enter the decline of sanity.... especially in women/moms.

I wish that woman well... and you too Linked.

[SeeNoEvil]

I should have said I don't believe in Jesus.... that would have killed any light she thought she saw... guess I was a chicken... but I have been resorting to praying and it's helped. I'm agnostic but I don't think that would have sat well with her either.

It may have been cathartic to do that. The church creates or encourages people who don't have boundaries. The whole missionary program is built around overstepping boundaries that most of society follows. Sorry you had to endure a frustrating situation.

I had an interesting experience on a flight that may relate. I was flying home from a work trip and sitting next to a middle-aged womans who seemed a little disheveled and tired. Eventually we talked a little bit, and I found out she was an exmo! I didn't know many exmos in the wild, so this was really exciting for me. We talked and talked. At some point she mentioned that her husband had just left her for a younger woman. She adored her husband and thought he was great. They had left the church together. Things seemed to be good, then one day he packed his stuff up and left her a note. It had only been a few weeks and she was clearly mourning. She left the church over historical issues but maintained her faith in God and Christ, and was leaning on them heavily. At some point she asked if I still believed in God after my faith transition and I decided to be honest and told her no. It felt like I was insulting the thing that was getting her through this extremely difficult time. The plane landed and we left, but I felt bad about possibly hurting her in such a vulnerable time. I am sure my comment didn't cause any harm, but I still wonder if that was the right thing to do.

Ultimately it would be nice if people didn't feel the need to have others have the same beliefs.

Linked please don't beat yourself up over this. Your story reminds me of a situation I found myself in many years ago similar to the woman on the plane. I no longer believe in God but it was my strong belief at that time that God had a hold of my hand and was literally guiding me out of a horrible situation. This belief kept me going. I had a few close friends who I knew didn't believe in God but their beliefs did not insult me. For what it is worth, I doubt you insulted her or harmed her in anyway. Right now she needs her God and that need is so strong that there will not be much that can break that bond between her and God. After she gets through this and she is in a better position to accept the reality about God she might remember the conversation on the plane and ponder more on your comments. Until then, I suspect she will remember you as the nice exMo on the plane!

[Linked]

I should have said I don't believe in Jesus.... that would have killed any light she thought she saw... guess I was a chicken... but I have been resorting to praying and it's helped. I'm agnostic but I don't think that would have sat well with her either.

It may have been cathartic to do that. The church creates or encourages people who don't have boundaries. The whole missionary program is built around overstepping boundaries that most of society follows. Sorry you had to endure a frustrating situation.

I had an interesting experience on a flight that may relate. I was flying home from a work trip and sitting next to a middle-aged womans who seemed a little disheveled and tired. Eventually we talked a little bit, and I found out she was an exmo! I didn't know many exmos in the wild, so this was really exciting for me. We talked and talked. At some point she mentioned that her husband had just left her for a younger woman. She adored her husband and thought he was great. They had left the church together. Things seemed to be good, then one day he packed his stuff up and left her a note. It had only been a few weeks and she was clearly mourning. She left the church over historical issues but maintained her faith in God and Christ, and was leaning on them heavily. At some point she asked if I still believed in God after my faith transition and I decided to be honest and told her no. It felt like I was insulting the thing that was getting her through this extremely difficult time. The plane landed and we left, but I felt bad about possibly hurting her in such a vulnerable time. I am sure my comment didn't cause any harm, but I still wonder if that was the right thing to do.

Ultimately it would be nice if people didn't feel the need to have others have the same beliefs.

Linked please don't beat yourself up over this. Your story reminds me of a situation I found myself in many years ago similar to the woman on the plane. I no longer believe in God but it was my strong belief at that time that God had a hold of my hand and was literally guiding me out of a horrible situation. This belief kept me going. I had a few close friends who I knew didn't believe in God but their beliefs did not insult me. For what it is worth, I doubt you insulted her or harmed her in anyway. Right now she needs her God and that need is so strong that there will not be much that can break that bond between her and God. After she gets through this and she is in a better position to accept the reality about God she might remember the conversation on the plane and ponder more on your comments. Until then, I suspect she will remember you as the nice exMo on the plane!

Thanks SNE, I figure I was a net positive for her. But I did feel bad for a little while. The post was mostly to illustrate that while it can be cathartic to proudly and openly disagree with someone it doesn't always make you feel better.

I'm sorry you found yourself in a similar situation and I'm glad that you had help through it. Life is crazy.