It is what it is

[Enough]

I am grateful for many things, on this day of Thanksgiving. It’s good to pop back in
here, after taking a break.

I was frustrated last week by my Bishop calling me in to ask me about my (non) TR-holding status. My son had told him that he wanted to stay home with me, rather than go to a Temple dedication without me.

When I visited with the Bishop, I didn’t get very far into my issues with the TR questions....I’ve had a lot of Bishops, with various ideas about what constitutes temple “worthiness”. But, last week was the first time I’ve been told that if I’m not (cannot get) “comfortable” with polygamy, then I would not qualify for a TR, based on the Restoration question (#3). Not that I even went in there trying to get one, but learning this “requirement” bothers me a lot. I have a son and a daughter who will probably go on missions in the next 1-3 years....then weddings may follow, and I do not want to miss those, if any of my kids choose a Temple marriage.

I know, I know.... many people say to just give the “yes...yes...yes...no...yes” answers and keep your issues to yourself... That doesn’t work very well for me. But, I may have to get more willing to make it work.

[SeeNoEvil]

{{{Enough}}} I wish I had a special balm, a bandaid or magic wand to heal and make your situation go away. All I have are cyber hugs and warm wishes.

I am most thankful for our chance meeting years ago and for that connection we never knew we had. Take care my dear friend. I am just a phone call away if you need to talk.

I'll just leave for you these words that have keep me going when I feel my independence and freedoms threatened:

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Victor Frankl

[wtfluff]

I feel the need to reply to this post, bit I'm not sure what to say.

Except that: I know the feeling of resentment that I can't just be acceptable as me, a flawed human; but to be accepted or good enough for my believing family members, I must become a hollow, emotionless puppet of a mormon.

I have a friend who's father escaped Castro's regime in Cuba and has ended up in Utah via Mexico. We have chats now and then about how incredibly lucky we are to live when we do, and where we do, and have not experienced any hardship whatsoever compared to my friend's father. I am truly thankful for that, but sill angry/resentful that I ended up completely entrenched in the life that the LDS Corporation made up for me. The internal contradiction is quite a thing.

Smiles and tears, all at the same time...


Edit: Well, I see the original post was edited basically while I was typing mine up. Whatever... It is what it is.

Hope everyone who celebrated and thanked today is now happy, and stuffed with tryptophan.

[Enough]

Thanks, wtfluff — I’m glad you saw my OP before I edited out all of the resentful ranting.
Group smiles and tears are better for me than being alone right now!

[MalcolmVillager]

Sux!

Don't know what more to say about that. I cannot disagree more with a statement that polygamy has anything to do with TR today.

BS. I hate it.

[Red Ryder]

Welcome back from your break!

I saw your original post and it had an effect on me today. Your writing captured my feelings of late. That tired feeling that never seems to go away no matter how much you manage your entangled mormon circumstance.

You're not alone.

[MoPag]

First of all (((HUGS)))!

Hugs4Enough.png (176.48 KiB) Viewed 4273 times

Second of all

Sux!

Don't know what more to say about that. I cannot disagree more with a statement that polygamy has anything to do with TR today.

BS. I hate it.

Amen!

How can they hold that over you when GBH even said he didn't think it was doctrinal? UGH!! I HAAATE church!!!!

[MerrieMiss]

I read your original post early Thanksgiving morning, and like RR, I kind of chewed on it all morning.

I had my Thanksgiving breakdown on Tuesday, so I was kind of over it by Thanksgiving Day, but you really had me thinking about people and relationships and expectations. I had my inlaws over for dinner and as I put pies in the oven Thursday morning, I was thinking how much my FIL would down right despise me if he knew who I really am, how I feel, what I think, what I believe. It's not only sad that in a world where I have so much that what I have isn't enough. It's sad that in a world where we all have so much, that I am not enough for some people.

[Enough]

Thank you for the acknowledgement, MM. As I reflected on the week (including my NOM-edited post), I am struck by the realization that I’m STILL uncomfortable in my own Mormon skin. I can’t just say what I need to say... and Let It Be.

Ugh. Mormon Programming runs very deep.