Bishop change

[Enoch Witty]

Our young, black, relatively-progressive-for-a-Mormon bishop was released last week.

Two weeks before this, he had reached out to me for the first time in about a year, saying he wished he would see me at church again, even if just for sacrament meeting. I responded to him very directly that I would not be returning: after the lies I had been taught, I could never trust the church leadership again, and after November 5, 2015, I could never respect them again. I told him it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with SLC and church history. I said I respected everyone's right to believe as they wished, and I hope that would be reciprocated by friends in the ward. He did not respond.

Then this week he was released after 3.5 years. I guess he and his wife are moving out of the ward. They re-called the ward's second-most previous bishop, who I only knew as a bishop for a few months tops. But I have heard things about him that make me think he is way more conservative and hands-on than our last bishop.

I have fears. Fears he will interfere in my marriage. Fears he will try to push my wife to push me in a way that the previous bishop did not. Fears that he will find a way to hold my apostasy against her and pull her temple recommend, causing a division. I'm not really afraid of what he might try to do to me; he has no power here. But he could influence my wife negatively.

On the other hand, my wife is fiercely independent, so people pushing and prodding and telling her what to believe might backfire against them and be ultimately good for me. It's kind of why I'm looking forward to the Nelson/Oaks regimes almost as much as I'm dreading them.

Anyway, not really needing advice. I have become much more comfortable saying "no" this past year. Just wish me moral support and good luck. I'm hoping this will be a good thing, but I still have fears, man.

[Red Ryder]

Your concerns are valid but in my experience they don't pan out. Most Bishops are just too busy and tread delicately with snowflakes like us. They think we might get offended.

I've been through 3 bishops now and each one has been careful to not tread on my family. Of course that's most likely because my butt is still in the pew 75% of the time.

It's such a thankless job as it is.

[oliver_denom]

Your concerns are valid but in my experience they don't pan out. Most Bishops are just too busy and tread delicately with snowflakes like us. They think we might get offended.

Keep in mind that most of them are just as delicate if not more so. They don't like being challenged or feeling uncomfortable, so if you can pull off both then they'll tread lightly and leave you alone.

My favorite go to for doing this is short one word answers. Yes and no without further explanation and saying "I don't want to discuss it" when pressed. Other than that I use please and thank you, show little emotion, but remain polite. That causes enough discomfort for most, without giving them ammunition, for them to throw their hands up and move on to the next.

[Corsair]

By amusing coincidence, my ward also got a new bishop last week. For a fleeting moment I had the hope that you were actually in my ward and we had not know this fact for the last three years.

Instead, we got a guy that I deeply respect and I have some hope for the future. He is a good man and I expect he will have a compassionate stewardship over his term. However, he has no idea about my philosophy and I have restarted assembling the rhetorical strategy I will have to employ if he ever tries to call me as Ward Mission Leader or Elder's Quorum President.

[azflyer]

Our young, black, relatively-progressive-for-a-Mormon bishop...

Wait... You had a black bishop!?!?!?!

I mean, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and in fact it's kind of cool! That just totally surprises me.

[A New Name]

Wait... You had a black bishop!?!?!?!

I mean, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and in fact it's kind of cool! That just totally surprises me.

Two weeks ago we had a black bishop called. He is divorced and married to a white woman. What is this world coming to!

[Red Ryder]

Wait... You had a black bishop!?!?!?!

I mean, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and in fact it's kind of cool! That just totally surprises me.

Two weeks ago we had a black bishop called. He is divorced and married to a white woman. What is this world coming to!

Wait... They didn't die on the spot!?!?!?!

“Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot."

- Prophet Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, v. 10, p. 110

[alas]

Wait... You had a black bishop!?!?!?!

I mean, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and in fact it's kind of cool! That just totally surprises me.

Two weeks ago we had a black bishop called. He is divorced and married to a white woman. What is this world coming to!

I think it is supper cool to have a black bishop. Any diversity is good. One would think that having moved all over with the military, that we would have seen some diversity among the bishops we had. But 99% of our bishops had grown up in Utah, whether they were military or not. One would hope that when we were practically the only military in the whole ward, that we could get a local as bishop, but there just seemed to be a HUGE preference for people who grew up in Utah. One bishop even voiced to me the attitude that locals just didn't know how to run the church, so as someone who had grown up in Utah I was the best choice for RSP. Surprise, surprise, I never went to RS in Utah. I turned 18, and went off to college, then got married without ever once attending RS in Utah. And I got married while still a teenager.

But, I thought that someone who has ever been divorced was not eligible to be bishop. Don't get me wrong, I think that rule sucks, because the divorce may not be the guy's fault and besides, sometimes the experience helps him empathize with people having difficulties.

[Jeffret]

However, he has no idea about my philosophy and I have restarted assembling the rhetorical strategy I will have to employ if he ever tries to call me as Ward Mission Leader or Elder's Quorum President.

"Just say no"

[Corsair]

However, he has no idea about my philosophy and I have restarted assembling the rhetorical strategy I will have to employ if he ever tries to call me as Ward Mission Leader or Elder's Quorum President.

"Just say no"

Yes, the simple strategy of Nancy Reagan is probably a good way forward.

[StarbucksMom]

He is a good man and I expect he will have a compassionate stewardship over his term. However, he has no idea about my philosophy and I have restarted assembling the rhetorical strategy I will have to employ if he ever tries to call me as Ward Mission Leader or Elder's Quorum President.

You're not a High Priest?? Are those the only callings you won't take? What about GD teacher for adults or youth? With Elder Ballard's recent declaration that could actually be fun

[Corsair]

You're not a High Priest?? Are those the only callings you won't take? What about GD teacher for adults or youth? With Elder Ballard's recent declaration that could actually be fun

I am an Elder. I would teach GD or Sunday School and I have on a few occasions. Teaching could work, but leadership requiring me to enthusiastically attend the temple, clean the church, or proselyte for new members would not work.

[StarbucksMom]

[quote=StarbucksMom post_id=29629 time=<a href="tel:1512153604">1512153604</a> user_id=178]
You're not a High Priest?? Are those the only callings you won't take? What about GD teacher for adults or youth? With Elder Ballard's recent declaration that could actually be fun

I am an Elder. I would teach GD or Sunday School and I have on a few occasions. Teaching could work, but leadership requiring me to enthusiastically attend the temple, clean the church, or proselyte for new members would not work.
[/quote]


Ok-so what I was thinking when I asked that kind of off the wall question was-if you have a pretty good relationship with this new bishop, watch out. He is probably going to look at you, active, successful, some grown kids, and think "Wow it's time to transform Elder Corsair into HP Corsair." And then give you a HP calling. My husband (mid 40s) is still an Elder. He believes, but doesn't hold a TR and we only pay fast offerings (and we don't fake tithing or attend settlement). He is the perpetual scout leader/primary teacher. I hope something bigger never comes. We should be safe with my minimal activity. Fingers crossed.

[Corsair]

Ok-so what I was thinking when I asked that kind of off the wall question was-if you have a pretty good relationship with this new bishop, watch out. He is probably going to look at you, active, successful, some grown kids, and think "Wow it's time to transform Elder Corsair into HP Corsair." And then give you a HP calling. My husband (mid 40s) is still an Elder. He believes, but doesn't hold a TR and we only pay fast offerings (and we don't fake tithing or attend settlement). He is the perpetual scout leader/primary teacher. I hope something bigger never comes. We should be safe with my minimal activity. Fingers crossed.

That will be an interesting day when that happens. This may be the opportunity to lay out my concerns and still see if he wants a friendly, active, non-believer to become a high priest.

[MerrieMiss]

My husband (mid 40s) is still an Elder. He believes, but doesn't hold a TR and we only pay fast offerings (and we don't fake tithing or attend settlement). He is the perpetual scout leader/primary teacher. I hope something bigger never comes. We should be safe with my minimal activity. Fingers crossed.

My husband is similar, except he holds a TR (never goes) and pays tithing. He never prays (except over meals!?) or reads scriptures or home teaches, etc, but he does believe. He recently got a new calling and it's irritating me to no end, but I am hoping that it opens his eyes to a lot of the problems, inconsistencies, etc. It will be painful, but it's what I'm hoping for.

[MerrieMiss]

A lot of bishops may tread carefully, but there's always that one who is going to make a difference, find that lost sheep, and really wants to be involved in everyone's life. Good luck - I hope you win at leadership roulette.

[azflyer]

[Two weeks ago we had a black bishop called. He is divorced and married to a white woman. What is this world coming to!

Wait!!!! You had a divorced bishop!!! I thought that was prohibited!?!?