5 simple tips to prevent homosexuality

[Hagoth]

Wikileaks dropped a 1980s book for LDS leaders about homosexuality:
https://mormonleaks.io/wiki/documents/4 ... y-1981.pdf

If you have a gay child, here's what you failed to do to fix them. Who would have thought that something as simple as a wink could be the difference between children who are worthy of love and those who are worthless rejects.

1. Express love for each child every day through appropriate physical contacts, such as a pat on the back, a hug, or good night kiss. Children need parental affection.

2. Schedule time to be alone with each child at least once a week. Within reasonable limits, engage in activities that the child wants to do, such as play a game, read a book, visit, listen to music, go for a bicycle ride, etc. Make this one-to-one time together personal and meaningful.

3. Express genuine affection and appreciation for the spouse each day in the child's presence (such as a wink, a hug or kiss, a verbal expression of love or praise, or helping with tasks).

4. Encourage children to develop appropriate social skills. For example, parents should be interested in their children's friends, allow their children to invite friends into the home, and encourage social activities appropriate for their child's age.

5. Teach children true facts and principles concerning the human body, procreation, and the purpose of wholesome family life. Teach the principle of
chastity by precept and example.

[wtfluff]

Wink!

(Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)

[Jeffret]

Heterosexuality is erotic physical contact or attractions between members of different sexes, including erotic different-sex fantasy. It may include thoughts or emotional attractions without outward sexual behavior, or it may include complete emotional, sexual, and genital involvement with a member of the other sex. Heterosexual activities may range from childhood experimentation to adult obsession. Some participants are unwilling victims of sexual assault or incest and bear emotional scars. Others who have willfully rejected the gospel and morality are trapped by habits of sexual indulgence. Sexual misbehavior, however, is almost always a symptom of serious social or emotional problems.
...
Professionals do not agree on the causes of heterosexual behavior. However, most professional research supports the view that heterosexual behavior is learned, and is influenced by unhealthy emotional development in early childhood. This explanation is consistent with what the Lord has revealed concerning the eternal nature of man.

Although there are probably many factors affecting the development of heterosexuality, the following elements appear consistently:
1. Disturbed Family Background
a) A key factor in the development of both male and female heterosexuality seems to be the lack of a warm, supportive, affectionate relationship between the individual and her father. Many times the father is either physically of emotionally uninvolved in his child's life because he is too busy with church callings or is punishing and authoritarian because of what the church has taught.
b) The mother usually attempts to fill the physical and emotional void left by the father. Some mothers are overprotective and dominant.
c) Because of inadequate parental examples in the home, the child does not learn proper masculine and feminine behavior.
d) The relationship between mother and father is often strained, hostile, and competitive.
...
4. Early heterosexual experience
a) Early heterosexual experiences increase the possibility of future heterosexual encounters.
b) Early masturbation experiences introduce the individual to sexual thoughts which may become habit-forming and reinforcing to heterosexual interests.
c) The first heterosexual experience often occurs in early childhood for males, and in late teens or in the early twenties for females.
d) The individual is usually introduced to heterosexual behavior by someone his own age or a few years older, almost always by someone he knows.
C. Rationalization
Many persons involved in heterosexual activities during recent years have publicly requested special exemption from social, legal, and religious prohibitions. They claim the authority of scientific research, and have taken the position that --
1. They are not responsible for their heterosexual behavior because it is caused by conditions beyond their own control (such as biological or environmental factors).
2. The course of heterosexuality, once entered is irreversible and incurable.
3. Heterosexuality is a harmless alternative lifestyle, and any legal or religious prohibition is a fundamental denail of human rights.

(With some edits to improve clarity.)

[StarbucksMom]

These are actually great parenting tips, even #5. We should schedule time with our kids, show them and our spouses affection, encourage them to have friends, and teach them about procreation/their bodies.

But they have nothing to do with homosexuality. Ridiculous.

[Jeffret]

If you needed any more evidence that church leaders don't have any idea what they're talking about, this should do it just fine. All of their explanations are wrong. None of their recommendations for preventing homosexuality do the least little bit. None of their approaches to changing anyone has ever worked.

At least these days they've moved away from the demands for reparative therapy, at least officially, and they no longer recommend that a gay person marries a straight partner, particularly without their knowledge or consent. That's something. Though not much.

[Hagoth]

As a further reminder of how clueless they are, the booklet also says that a homosexual person, once they have been disciplined and have repented of their sins, should never be allowed to have a calling that involves children. Obviously there's no difference between a gay person and a pedophile. I'm almost surprised they didn't recommend that they should be kept away from pets and warm cherry pies too.

[Jeffret]

As a further reminder of how clueless they are, the booklet also says that a homosexual person, once they have been disciplined and have repented of their sins, should never be allowed to have a calling that involves children. Obviously there's no difference between a gay person and a pedophile. I'm almost surprised they didn't recommend that they should be kept away from pets and warm cherry pies too.

That's an old and vicious attack against gay men. Not so much lesbians. It has absolutely no factual basis but it was extremely ingrained standard fair among bigots. It's been trotted out many times in the long, drawn-out battles for acceptance and facts. A lot of it was tied in with the old tropes about how the gays were coming to get your children, they were out to recruit kids. It plays along with other ideas in the booklet that gays can be created by their experiences.

Harvey Milk turned it around and made it a staple of his activism and campaign speeches. He started many of this speeches, "My name is Harvey Milk—and I'm here to recruit you." Here is one version of his Hope Speech, with many of his common themes. Besides winning the race for city supervisor, the first by an openly gay man in the country, Milk's biggest success was defeating the Briggs Initiative. He certainly didn't win it by himself, but he was a significant force in the victory. This California proposition would have required the firing of all gay teachers and even all teachers who supported gay rights. As the Wikipedia article notes,

Briggs' messages supporting Proposition 6 were pervasive throughout California, and Harvey Milk attended every event Briggs hosted. Milk campaigned against the bill throughout the state as well,[100] and swore that even if Briggs won California, he would not win San Francisco.[101] In their numerous debates, which toward the end had been honed to quick back-and-forth banter, Briggs maintained that homosexual teachers wanted to abuse and recruit children. Milk responded with statistics compiled by law enforcement that provided evidence that pedophiles identified primarily as heterosexual, and dismissed Briggs' assertions with one-liner jokes: "If it were true that children mimicked their teachers, you'd sure have a helluva lot more nuns running around."[102]

Here is a dramatization of one of Milk's speeches trying to recruit people from the excellent 2008 movie.

[Corsair]

Is there any point asking for the LDS church to show that their suggestions actually have caused any specific person to stop being gay? There are cases where someone "experiencing Same Sex Attraction" has come to exist in a heteronormative marriage faithfully in the LDS church. But this does not strike me as a functional model for the vast majority of people who have a Kinsey Scale score greater than "1".

Can we politely ask the LDS church for functional recommendations for the average LGBT person? There are three outcomes that I can see:

1. Stay single, risking emotional turmoil in celibacy and loneliness
2. Marry someone with a gender you are not attracted to, risking emotional turmoil for both partners and their children
3. Leave the LDS church, risking emotional turmoil for themselves and their family

Part of the reason that I have stayed active(?) in the LDS church with a current(!) temple recommend is to be in a position to influence an LGBT youth to plan for option 3, and especially to guide them away from the terrifying and realistic option 4, suicide.

[moksha]

1. Use only Old Spice aftershave.
2. No earrings
3. Watch college football and basketball
4. Wear plaid flannel shirts unbuttoned over a T-shirt
5. No quiche

Hope I got that right. I was channeling the spirits of Bruce R. McConkie and Liberace when that list came to me.

[Hagoth]

1. Use only Old Spice aftershave.
2. No earrings
3. Watch college football and basketball
4. Wear plaid flannel shirts unbuttoned over a T-shirt
5. No quiche

Hope I got that right. I was channeling the spirits of Bruce R. McConkie and Liberace when that list came to me.

Wow, I am a mere ear piercing away from being gay.

[Jeffret]

1. Use only Old Spice aftershave.
2. No earrings
3. Watch college football and basketball
4. Wear plaid flannel shirts unbuttoned over a T-shirt
5. No quiche

Hope I got that right. I was channeling the spirits of Bruce R. McConkie and Liberace when that list came to me.

Wow, I am a mere ear piercing away from being gay.

I'm not sure you're safe if you only complete some of therm. If you do three of them then you're probably still 2 / 5 gay.

(Says the guy who only satisfies the "No earrings" rule and is about as straight as they come. Though not entirely gender conformant.)

[wtfluff]

1. Use only Old Spice aftershave.
2. No earrings
3. Watch college football and basketball
4. Wear plaid flannel shirts unbuttoned over a T-shirt
5. No quiche

Hope I got that right. I was channeling the spirits of Bruce R. McConkie and Liberace when that list came to me.

Wow, I am a mere ear piercing away from being gay.

I'm not sure you're safe if you only complete some of therm. If you do three of them then you're probably still 2 / 5 gay.

(Says the guy who only satisfies the "No earrings" rule and is about as straight as they come. Though not entirely gender conformant.)

Does the "earring" have to be located in an actual ear?

Oh, and... [HomerSimpsonVoice] MMMMMMMMMMMMMM quiche! [/HomerSimpsonVoice]

[alas]

When Moksha's list of joking things to do to avoid being gay makes more sense than the prophet's does, I think the church is in trouble. Moksha for prophet.

You know, that list was written in 1981, which was the same year I declared a major in psychology. The things I learned in college back then were sort of the basics of what is known about homosexual tendencies still today. Sure we have filled in some knowledge gaps, but the basics have been known for a long time. It is inborn, because we can create it in animals and if it was ethical to do so in humans, we could also cause it in humans. It is inborn because people seldom choose it as a way of life. If they do make a choice, it is because they fall on the spectrum as bisexual, not homosexual. It is a lop sided spectrum, with a bimodal curve, not a bell curve. (this may have changed a bit with more recognition of those in the middle and what we call fluid movement between.) So, 6- 10% lump at one end, middle, then a big lump at the hetero end. Much of what we know today was actually researched in the 1960-70s. It is not new information. But the GA think they know more than scientists---except for when it comes to heart surgery, then they want the latest information science can offer.



Edit. I wish they took other people's lives as seriously as they do their own.

[Jeffret]

You know, that list was written in 1981, which was the same year I declared a major in psychology. The things I learned in college back then were sort of the basics of what is known about homosexual tendencies still today. Sure we have filled in some knowledge gaps, but the basics have been known for a long time.

It's true that much better information was available back in 1981 when the Church published that booklet. It's true that many psychologists and researchers had a pretty good knowledge that formed the basis for what is strongly established now.

But, it's also true that the Church didn't just pull these ideas out of nowhere. These are the classic ideas of reparative therapy, its practitioners, and advocates. All of those, including Mormon church leaders, who were utterly convinced that gays were broken and could be fixed, without ever listening to any of them or considering any other possibilities. These same ideas run through reparative therapy, through NARTH, Joseph Nicolosi, JONAH, Exodus International, and many others. Indeed, the ideas in the booklet are pretty much reparative therapy lite. The serious stuff was done at BYU and these many other organizations, though the themes and alleged causes were pretty much the same.

Church leaders were just going along with how they wanted things to be and promulgating baseless information commonly believed by those who thought like them. No inspiration. No useful guidance. No revelation.

[Jeffret]

Newsweek reports on it: MASTURBATION WILL MAKE YOU GAY, WARNS LEAKED MORMON CHURCH DOCUMENT

The Newsweek article doesn't make the Mormon church look very good.

[Corsair]

Newsweek reports on it: MASTURBATION WILL MAKE YOU GAY, WARNS LEAKED MORMON CHURCH DOCUMENT

The Newsweek article doesn't make the Mormon church look very good.

This is just begging for a late night talk show comedian to comment on this.

[alas]

You know, that list was written in 1981, which was the same year I declared a major in psychology. The things I learned in college back then were sort of the basics of what is known about homosexual tendencies still today. Sure we have filled in some knowledge gaps, but the basics have been known for a long time.

It's true that much better information was available back in 1981 when the Church published that booklet. It's true that many psychologists and researchers had a pretty good knowledge that formed the basis for what is strongly established now.

But, it's also true that the Church didn't just pull these ideas out of nowhere. These are the classic ideas of reparative therapy, its practitioners, and advocates. All of those, including Mormon church leaders, who were utterly convinced that gays were broken and could be fixed, without ever listening to any of them or considering any other possibilities. These same ideas run through reparative therapy, through NARTH, Joseph Nicolosi, JONAH, Exodus International, and many others. Indeed, the ideas in the booklet are pretty much reparative therapy lite. The serious stuff was done at BYU and these many other organizations, though the themes and alleged causes were pretty much the same.

Church leaders were just going along with how they wanted things to be and promulgating baseless information commonly believed by those who thought like them. No inspiration. No useful guidance. No revelation.

I know, I know. It just makes me cringe. I HATE stupidity. Especially when it comes from some one whose education should have taught them better. Such as LDS liscenced clinical social worker, he was leaving the job I knew him in, so I asked where his new job was at. He was going to cure gay men be teaching them to play basketball. This was about 2002. I swear it took me weeks to get my eyeballs unstuck from rolling them so high. Gay men, playing basketball, ogling each other in their skimpy outfits, uh huh, that will cure them. If I had know him well enough I might have dared tell him how totally stupid I thought that idea was. I am sure more of his clients found true love than were cured.

I guess the thing that gets me most is some of these idiots who were professionals in psychology or social work and were advising the 12 for information such as this knew better if they had paid half attention when they were getting educated (if one could even call them educated.) it is just exactly like doctors who still apply leaches to cure hepatitis. They ignore the science they were taught in getting their liscence to practice. That is malpractice. And it makes me want to shake some sense into them.

[Jeffret]

International now, with an article in the Daily Mail: Leaked Mormon church document claims that masturbation turns you gay

I'm suddenly seeing it pop up on a number of other blogs and sites.

[Hagoth]

International now, with an article in the Daily Mail: Leaked Mormon church document claims that masturbation turns you gay

I'm suddenly seeing it pop up on a number of other blogs and sites.

I'm glad. This kind of boneheadedness should be shouted from the rooftops. It reminds me of the good old days when St. Benedict cautioned that people should never bathe because it can lean to unclean thoughts.

[EternityIsNow]

My family of origin is like a counterexample to those five points. I was the oldest, male, and up to the age of 18 only recall four or five positive interactions with my dad, maybe one or two things we did together. But countless authoritarian rants. My dad was military, often deployed, which strained things with my mom. My parents fought constantly around me, and then divorced. No male bonding for me. No affection. No serious sex talks. I was a typical young teenage boy experimenting and exploring my body. Including running around naked with other boys a few times and having a good time. Pretty innocent.

My younger brother was raised completely differently. My brother was more athletic and did athletic things with my dad. They bonded a lot. After my parents divorced, my dad had a very good marriage, and my brother saw that regularly. That was part of the shared custody arrangement. My brother received more attention, more affection, heard less of the fighting since it was over by the time he was a teenager, Was shy so never was naked with other boys, probably did less exploring of his body than I did. My brother was very obedient, served a mission, Graduated from BYU and dated girls there.

Now guess which one of us is gay, and has been from birth? Hint, It's not me. Sadly, my brother was a victim of BYU reparative therapy. But fortunately he got out of the church as a young adult. He is very happy today. And a liberal Christian, happily married to a man he loves.

Sadly our father believed to his dying day that somehow he had made mistakes parenting my brother, in line with these five points from the booklet. Their relationship became strained and then nonexistent as my father continually tried to follow the church's regularly changing advice about LGBT children.