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Konfession Time

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 3:02 pm
by 2bizE
In the spirit of fellow NOM Korihor, it is fitting to have a moment to confess our sins.
I freely admit over the past few months I have become a garment checker. Yes, I gaze at people to determine if they are wearing garments. The twist now is I’m checking if they don’t have garments. If the do not wear garments, I gaze in awe wishing I could be like them and not wear polygamy panties.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 4:29 pm
by Red Ryder
I must admit I glance a little longer at bare shoulders.

When doing laundry, I grab in each hand the legs of my wife's garments and give them a quick yank. About 37% of the time the crotch rips out and she doesn't find out until she's folding them. While it feels extremely cathartic at the time, it's super annoying to see 5 new pairs show up in the mail from Beehive Clothing one week later. Admittedly it's pretty funny to listen to her try and figure out why they are so poorly made.

That's about all my Konfessions for 2017!

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 7:42 pm
by FiveFingerMnemonic
I konfess to sending brother jake videos to non member friends when they have questions about mormonism. They are well received.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:57 pm
by Hagoth
Coffee makes me feel happy.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:27 am
by Corsair
Hagoth wrote:
Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:57 pm
Coffee makes me feel happy.
Coffee makes me feel very happy.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:41 am
by Just This Guy
My boss gave us a bottle of peach moonshine for Christmas. I actually rather enjoy it.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:12 pm
by Thoughtful
I haven't done it -- but I've considered sending the CES letter to a few really pious people at church.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:50 pm
by Reuben
I konfess that I laugh really hard at Brother Jake videos. I'm afraid I often cross into loud laughter territory.

I konfess that on r/exmormon, I vote up everything to do with LGBT issues as a matter of personal policy. In particular, I try to never miss upvoting posts featuring photos of cute couples. I always try to reply to the suicidal ones to tell them how wonderful they are, and affirm that those 15 frightened men and the people who believe them about homosexuality are wrong, wrong, wrong.

I guess that last one is more like penance.

Can these go the other way? For example, I konfess that most of my posts and comments at r/exmormon are to try to soften the "burn it the f*** down" rhetoric, and I sometimes feel like I'm raining on their pride parade.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 2:37 pm
by Hagoth
Reuben wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:50 pm
...and affirm that those 15 frightened men and the people who believe them about homosexuality are wrong, wrong, wrong.
I would be guilty of speaking evil of the Lord's anointed but I don't believe there has been any such anointing except to themselves by their egos. Also, can sincere criticism be evil?

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 4:41 pm
by Grace2Daisy
Corsair wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:27 am
Hagoth wrote:
Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:57 pm
Coffee makes me feel happy.
Coffee makes me feel very happy.
The Best Part of Waking Up. . . . . I never realize how true that is.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:42 pm
by Brent
Makers Mark 46.

And Baileys with a touch of hot chocolate.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:34 am
by AllieOop
Hagoth wrote:
Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:57 pm
Coffee makes me feel happy.
Wine makes me even happier :D

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:46 am
by No Tof
In this year 2 AC(after coffee) I’ve discovered dessert coffee. A Monte Christo with an oz of kalua and grand marnier helps me keep the crist o in Christmas.

The other biggy to konfess is the sincere lack of remorse or guilt for any of my imaginary sins.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:45 am
by Hagoth
I remember being terrified of Satan. Now Satan is the most hilariously comical figure I can imagine.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 2:42 pm
by NOMinally Mormon
I have booze stashed in the kitchen. My husband, though an antimo, doesn't drink and disapproves of it. Whenever he finds a bottle of something and comments on it, I say it's for cooking. Yeah, I cook with Mike's harder lemonade. He still has no clue that I drink.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 3:10 pm
by GoodBoy
I resigned and was asked not to wear garments any more, but they are still mixed in with my gentile undies in my drawer and I just wear them simetimes. They hold no meaning to me whatsoever, they are just underwear that I have to realize that some people will judge me for wearing or not wearing.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 10:58 am
by 2bizE
NOMinally Mormon wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 2:42 pm
I have booze stashed in the kitchen. My husband, though an antimo, doesn't drink and disapproves of it. Whenever he finds a bottle of something and comments on it, I say it's for cooking. Yeah, I cook with Mike's harder lemonade. He still has no clue that I drink.
This is great. I love cooking. The other day we had fondue: cheese and chocolate. The recipe called for dry white wine. I used white cooking wine. I told the misses that I needed to get some real white wine for the next time. She gave me the look of disapproval. Until I said because it has less salt and would be healthier to use. She seemed fine with that. Never bought wine before, but there is always a first time.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:30 am
by NewLight
The recipe called for dry white wine. I used white cooking wine. I told the misses that I needed to get some real white wine for the next time. She gave me the look of disapproval. Until I said because it has less salt and would be healthier to use. She seemed fine with that. Never bought wine before, but there is always a first time.
Definitely head to the liquor store and get a good DRY white wine - it will take your cheese fondue to a new level. We do a fondue with swiss, garlic, and nutmeg and while it is good with white cooking wine, it was REALLY good with a dry riesling.

Now on to my own Konfession...

A month after I got an email from COB trying to track down my sister who has not attended church for perhaps close to 50 years and after listening to Ballard and Oaks lie to the young adult contingent of the church about being honest about the Church's history, I was very angry and decided to respond to their email. I got pretty snarky, but for your enjoyment, here is my reply (I'm just konfessing this, but I'm still not repenting :D ):
Dear Michael (or whoever reads this from LDS Member Locater Services since the return email is rather generic),
Has it ever dawned on you folks how simple it is for a person to find an LDS congregation in this day and age if there is interest in attending? All one must do in this fast-paced online world is to google the word “Mormon” and an LDS owned website will return in the search within the top five entries. Easy!
The LDS Church and its members often criticize people who stop attending without fully understanding why inactivity happened in the first place. When members and the Church itself refer to those who have either left formally or simply through nonattendance, they are frequently heard to say “they can leave the church, but they can’t leave the church alone”. Has the church and its members themselves stopped to look at what it/they are doing? Really looked in the mirror?
You guys come out of the clear blue asking me for the contact information of my sister who you know d*** well has no interest in attending. You have her records confirming that for decades she has not attended. With that in mind, I have come up with my own “so-called pet phrase” to describe what the church and the active members often do – “The can let members leave, but they can’t let members who decide to leave alone”.
I had a lovely lunch with my sister, <sister's name from her prior marriage decades ago and the name the church had on their records>, just within this last week – Thanksgiving is a great time to see loved ones! During that time, we shared wonderful conversation and love that family members can develop if they let themselves be their true selves without having some organized religion dictating what they should say, do, and be. The LDS Church is particularly bad at trying to control what a person is or becomes and there are countless stories of how this strains family relationships. I am thankful my family is not one that succumbs to the Church’s manipulations.
In the end, I told my sister, <sister's name from her prior marriage decades ago and the name the church had on their records>, that I would help her resign from the LDS Church. Will you respond to this email and provide the instructions for doing so? I have heard from others I have known who have left that there are websites to assist in this matter, but it seems it might be quicker/more efficient to work directly with the LDS Church on terminating a membership – that is, if the Church can bury its desire to harass and simply end the relationship.
Thank you in advance for your prompt attention at providing relevant information on how to leave expeditiously. I just might put it to use myself 😊
Best Regards,

NewLight
I suppose I should feel bad about this, but... I was pretty upset from hearing about the results from the Question and Answer Meeting Ballard and Oaks had with the youth.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 1:05 pm
by NOMinally Mormon
2bizE wrote:
Tue Dec 26, 2017 10:58 am
NOMinally Mormon wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 2:42 pm
I have booze stashed in the kitchen. My husband, though an antimo, doesn't drink and disapproves of it. Whenever he finds a bottle of something and comments on it, I say it's for cooking. Yeah, I cook with Mike's harder lemonade. He still has no clue that I drink.
This is great. I love cooking. The other day we had fondue: cheese and chocolate. The recipe called for dry white wine. I used white cooking wine. I told the misses that I needed to get some real white wine for the next time. She gave me the look of disapproval. Until I said because it has less salt and would be healthier to use. She seemed fine with that. Never bought wine before, but there is always a first time.
Konfession: I don't actually cook with alcohol (what recipe calls for Mike's Harder Lemonade?). It's just a handy excuse for whenever my spouse opens the cupboard and sees a bottle of booze. So I guess that's a twofer: breaking the WoW and fibbing about it.

Re: Konfession Time

Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 1:36 pm
by Stig
GoodBoy wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 3:10 pm
I resigned and was asked not to wear garments any more, but they are still mixed in with my gentile undies in my drawer and I just wear them simetimes. They hold no meaning to me whatsoever, they are just underwear that I have to realize that some people will judge me for wearing or not wearing.
Okay, I just have to ask...why?! There are so many better options.