Why do they call bishops with young children?

[Not Buying It]

Just heard that an acquaintance of mine was called as a bishop. He has young children who will now not get to see him while he is off doing Church stuff for several nights a week. There are plenty of men whose children are grown that they could have called, but they went for the guy who has kids who need him.

Why do they do that? They don't take family situations into consideration when extending calls like that, do they? It's almost like the Church doesn't really care about your family or something, or maybe it thinks what it wants takes priority over a family's needs.

Such an unnecessary waste.

[oliver_denom]

They prioritize leadership over everything else, and calling someone to be bishop is a great way to keep them in.

[Thoughtful]

Oh no silly -- men don't need to be with their children, that's WOMEN'S work. Duh.

[a1986]

Oh no silly -- men don't need to be with their children, that's WOMEN'S work. Duh.

That's what I was going to say. I think they see that as the wife's job anyway, so it really shouldn't matter if he has young kids or not, right?

[Sheamus Moore]

In my neck of the woods I believe our SP (a zealot) calls younger Bishops (who are going to have young families) because he wants bobble-headed yes men who will be obedient to his direction and not challenge his authority. It’s a trend I’ve noticed throughout his term. The older guys were less likely to bow their heads and say yes - so they get replaced. Perhaps the trend is systemic...

[Reuben]

If they don't do this, they won't get young apostles.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

I have found that in Utah if you want to predict who the next bishop of the ward will be simply look at who in your ward is on the high council and good buddies with members of the stake presidency. HC always seems to be the proving grounds for future bishops with few exceptions here.

[alas]

Another reason for calling guys in their late 20s to early 30s is because they think it is so very important that he relate well with the youth. They want someone who is closer in age to the late teens than he is to their parents age, so he can still be a buddy to the teens who need to confess masturbation or get ready for a mission. I actually heard a stake president say that they do not want the bishop to remind the older kids of their parents.

My thought was, what about all the adults in the ward and what they need in a bishop? Do women who need to confess adultery feel comfortable confessing to this 29 year old? Who is just barely older than her own children. What about the life experience of the older guys? What about WISDOM that comes with some maturity? No, they want someone who can be buddies to the youth?

[Red Ryder]

I've been a ward clerk to a young bishop presiding over our ward and by the looks and number of single cougars (not of the BYU variety) lined up outside his door each Sunday, it would appear confession etiquette wasn't the least of their worries.

I think they got off on confessing to getting off!

[RubinHighlander]

I think it's mostly demographics, but a lot depends on the SP. If you see nearly all the wards with young bishops, then it's likely a case of the SP feeling he'll have more control. I've see the friction between bishops and SPs before, when they are at the same age level.

I have found that in Utah if you want to predict who the next bishop of the ward will be simply look at who in your ward is on the high council and good buddies with members of the stake presidency. HC always seems to be the proving grounds for future bishops with few exceptions here.

This is the case in the Stakes I've been in. Upper class income areas where there are not as many young families tend to have much more choice for upper leadership callings. I wasn't made an HP until my mid 40's, pretty standard MO for my stake. In the younger wards out in the valley you would see HPs in their 20's.

If this is a wider trend, calling young bishops instead of older ones, it could be COB influenced, perpetuated in SP training. Perhaps there's some demographic evidence they have in their data to suggest that it will help slow the bleeding and provide a better pool of local leaders to choose from and groom for mission presidents and regional reps in the future.

[Grace2Daisy]

When I was on the HC the SP called a young bishop with seven kids under the age of 11. He asked for, and was granted, two counselors who were in their late 20's and early 30's with four and five kids. So, quick math shows you they had 16 kids between them, all under the age of 11. Also, none of the bishopric had ever been in a bishopric AND all of them were Elders, needing to be ordained High Priest.

What could possibly go wrong?

Both counselors struggled with their businesses and marriages. One was on church welfare and the bishop was paying his $2500 a month rent for three years. We eventually released him and, wait for it, they called another person from the Elders who had four young kids under the age of 9. The other one moved out of town just to get out of his calling, and what he witnessed the bishop doing (see below).

The bishop was a disaster, in six years (he requested to stay in a year longer) he had one YM go on a mission. He got his YW's president pregnant (both were excommunicated), and it divided the ward into camps which will take a generation to recover from. The YW's president got a divorce and, the last I heard, was moving near the bishop and his family (new and everlasting covenant?).

Through all of this the SP felt calling young bishops and bishoprics was the best thing to do, as he said, "We need to develop future leaders."

[alas]

Or, maybe it is because the older men have more sense and say not only no but....

I know for the people I know who were called into high positions in their 20s, my husband among them, they either go on to higher callings, or they burn out and refuse anything bigger than teaching. I know two men who were young bishops whose wife divorced them because she felt like second fiddle to the rest of the ward. I know others who it was their last calling. It burns people out, and they know that to save their marriage or sanity, they have set boundaries with the church and start saying no to callings.

My son is/was in a ward with small homes, starter or retirement size. So, he jokes about the whole ward is newly wed or nearly dead. He says that the retired people not only retired from working, they think they get to retire from church service too. They turn down callings. I know, how dare they? Especially when they are 3/4 of the ward. Anyway, so between he and his wife they have been president of all auxilleries, as well as 1st counselor, clerk, and scout master. After 15 years of that, they moved to escape the ward. He resents the people who dare to say no, and yet, they move away? Isn't that just a different way of setting limits?

[nibbler]

After 15 years of that, they moved to escape the ward. He resents the people who dare to say no, and yet, they move away? Isn't that just a different way of setting limits?

The other one moved out of town just to get out of his calling,

Yeah, something is definitely wrong with a culture when people feel like they need to pick up and move because there's so much pressure to conform. Moving across town because saying no or setting boundaries is harder? Crazy... but that's the hold the church has over people.