Russ Nelson announces

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lostinmiddlemormonism
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Russ Nelson announces

Post by lostinmiddlemormonism » Sat Jan 13, 2018 2:14 pm

Press conference on Tuesday.

I'm going with: nothing really exciting but a way to get the membership buzzing.

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moksha
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by moksha » Sat Jan 13, 2018 3:27 pm

Wonder if it could be:

1. Announcing his picks for First Presidency Counselors.

2. New handcart companies to help expel the infidels from Zion.

3. Announcing the formation of the PACLDS (political action committee of the LDS Church).

4. That the theory of evolution will no longer be taught at Church colleges and universities.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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wtfluff
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by wtfluff » Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:18 pm

Boy, this is gonna be hard to predict, but I'm gonna try:

Russell F Nelson is going to announce: "I'm the new CEO/President of the multi-billion-dollar Corporattion - Sole, and these two, old, rich white guys are my 'counselors'."

The new CEO might also 'call' a couple more rich, old white guys to the board of directors of the Corporattion - Sole to replace the other old, rich white guys who died and left openings in the board of directors. If not, April it is for the two new rich, old white guys joining the free ride on the backs of tithe payers for the rest of the old, white guy's lives.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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nibbler
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by nibbler » Sat Jan 13, 2018 6:55 pm

lostinmiddlemormonism wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 2:14 pm
I'm going with: nothing really exciting but a way to get the membership buzzing.
You stole mine. Members are now plastering it all over FB, mission accomplished. They'll tune in and it will be another meeting where the attendees already knew everything that was going to be said before anyone says anything.
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
– Anais Nin

Reuben
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by Reuben » Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:14 pm

He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.
Learn to doubt the stories you tell about yourselves and your adversaries.

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wtfluff
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by wtfluff » Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:19 pm

Reuben wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:14 pm
He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.
Haha! Oh man, I take back my earlier post. I want him to do this. It would be EPIC!

What are the rest of us going to do with all of those abandoned temples?
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

Thoughtful
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by Thoughtful » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:34 pm

IDK but he's already aggrandizing himself, posting a highlight reel on his FB page.

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oliver_denom
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by oliver_denom » Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:31 am

wtfluff wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:19 pm
Reuben wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:14 pm
He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.
Haha! Oh man, I take back my earlier post. I want him to do this. It would be EPIC!

What are the rest of us going to do with all of those abandoned temples?
Behold it is he, the "one mighty and strong", 93 year old Russ Nelson with the physical and cognitive abilities of a very old man, but the spiritual strength of a small pony.
“You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages--they haven't ended yet.” - Vonnegut

L'enfer, c'est les autres - JP

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Hagoth
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by Hagoth » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:25 am

wtfluff wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:18 pm
Russell F Nelson
:D :D
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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sparky
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by sparky » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:47 am

Reuben wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:14 pm
He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.
I honestly wish the corporate church would take a crazy turn like this, because DW would never go along with it. She's on the very edge of being a NOM and wouldn't give up normal life if the church really doubled down on some of its nuttier aspects. I think even something like Moksha's #4 (BYU stops teaching evolution) would be enough cover for her to be okay with me dropping out.

Please Russell, you keep insisting the millennium is right around the corner; now's the time to double down on the crazy!

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MerrieMiss
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by MerrieMiss » Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:37 am

sparky wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:47 am
Reuben wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:14 pm
He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.
I honestly wish the corporate church would take a crazy turn like this, because DW would never go along with it.
I've often wished this. If the church would just get on with it, bring back polygamy, united order, moving to Missouri...I think my husband would realize that a bunch of weirdos they are.

On the flip side, I have a TBM sibling who is very unhappy in the church, but sticks around because they don't want to miss out when the big announcement comes (move to Missouri, second coming, whatever). I always come away from visiting them and feeling a little sad they live in so much fear.

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MoPag
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by MoPag » Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:17 am

Thoughtful wrote:
Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:34 pm
IDK but he's already aggrandizing himself, posting a highlight reel on his FB page.
I'm following him on FB now! :lol: Too bad Aunt Wendy doesn't have a public figure FB page :(


oliver_denom wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:31 am

Behold it is he, the "one mighty and strong", 93 year old Russ Nelson with the physical and cognitive abilities of a very old man, but the spiritual strength of a small pony.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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SeeNoEvil
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by SeeNoEvil » Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:21 am

Yesterday while with a group of TBM family engaging in a lively discussion of Monson and Nelson I killed the conversation by saying,"I think it is a bit weird to call a press conference to announce yourself as the new prophet." Mic drop.... crickets. Now on to what's on TV................ :|
"Every event that has taken place in this universe has led you to this moment.
... The real question is, what will you do with this moment?" - Unknown

"Never arrive @ a point where you know everything - Korihor57

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oliver_denom
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by oliver_denom » Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:24 pm

SeeNoEvil wrote:
Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:21 am
Yesterday while with a group of TBM family engaging in a lively discussion of Monson and Nelson I killed the conversation by saying,"I think it is a bit weird to call a press conference to announce yourself as the new prophet." Mic drop.... crickets. Now on to what's on TV................ :|
Maybe it's because they aren't announcing a new prophet, but a new president. Although in keeping with the times, it would be more presidential if they tweeted it first.
“You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages--they haven't ended yet.” - Vonnegut

L'enfer, c'est les autres - JP

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Corsair
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by Corsair » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:12 pm

SeeNoEvil wrote:
Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:21 am
Yesterday while with a group of TBM family engaging in a lively discussion of Monson and Nelson I killed the conversation by saying,"I think it is a bit weird to call a press conference to announce yourself as the new prophet." Mic drop.... crickets. Now on to what's on TV................ :|
Press conferences get called frequently by various organizations. 99.99% of the time I'm not interested unless it's from NASA. What would really be interesting is if GOD called the press conference and HE announced Nelson as the new prophet. That would settle the question and be actually interesting.

My guess is that Nelson will be announced as the newly ordained prophet and president of TCoJCoLDS along with Henry and Dieter retained in the usual counselor roles. If we are lucky then two two apostles might be announced. Random questions from the press will not be entertained, of course. When my "prophesy" comes true then I expect tithing from you heathens.

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slavereeno
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by slavereeno » Tue Jan 16, 2018 8:44 am

Corsair wrote:
Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:12 pm
When my "prophesy" comes true then I expect tithing from you heathens.
:lol: :lol:

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Corsair
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by Corsair » Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:16 am

slavereeno wrote:
Tue Jan 16, 2018 8:44 am
Corsair wrote:
Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:12 pm
When my "prophesy" comes true then I expect tithing from you heathens.
:lol: :lol:
Bummer, no tithing for me. The last time a counselor was not retained was Hugh B. Brown back in the 60s. He was also considered a liberal, especially with his agitation for extending the priesthood to all men.

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slavereeno
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Re: Russ Nelson announces

Post by slavereeno » Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:43 am

Corsair wrote:
Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:16 am
Bummer, no tithing for me. The last time a counselor was not retained was Hugh B. Brown back in the 60s. He was also considered a liberal, especially with his agitation for extending the priesthood to all men.
I dunno, from what I have seen, if we work the apologetics right we should still be able to score you some coin...
Corsair predicts next first presidency! He was absolutely correct about the retention of Eyering, this proves he is a prophet so pay up you heathens!
That looks about right to me...

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